[One-Shot] The Case of The Hawaiian Pizza
“Hawaiian pizza? You know I hate Hawaiian pizza.”
“Yeah.” Inoue Mao bit into her slice and turned back to her magazine.
Ninomiya Kazunari narrowed his eyes at his apathetic assistant. Why did she have to just love these? It was all she’s been ordering for the past week. He’s been picking out the pineapples at first because he hated them. And she always orders extra pineapples! But as the days passed he was growing tired of the effort. In the end, he would just pretend they were something else. He gave an annoyed glare and took a slice, heading for his desk.
He could just step in and order a different one. But somehow, it serves as a consolation to her; he’s been late in giving her salary. A lot late. And she does love them. So…
“Has anyone called while I was out?”
“No.”
“Did Mr. Kamenashi ever follow up on the case he wanted us to handle?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, call him and ask if he wants us investigating into it.”
“Can’t. Our phone lines have been cut off.”
He almost choked on a piece of ham. “Since when?!”
“No idea. Last week?” She didn’t really care.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He was trying not to shout. It would just leave him a lot more agitated seeing as it doesn’t affect her at all. Nothing does.
No wonder he hasn’t heard the phone ring. Granted that it’s not really always ringing off the hook… He should do something about his advertisements. They could need a little more pizaz.
“You’re the detective. You could have found out soon if you were any good.”
He opened and closed his mouth. “That’s why I hired you! You’re supposed to take care of these things for me!”
She looked up from her magazine and stared at him with her usual deadpan face. He seemed to think having an assistant doesn’t require him to work his brains when it comes to ‘those things’.
“Do you have any money?”
Okay, that question got him. “Well… No…”
“You really are the worst detective. Why did you ever think of becoming one?”
“Oi, don’t talk to me like that! I’m still your boss!”
Damn those Sherlock Holmes books and poor parenting skills. Couldn’t they just have told him the truth? That he doesn’t have the talent for this? But it’s imprinted in his brain to think it’s his calling.
She didn’t seem to hear him nor cared to.
“Mr. Kamenashi’s request could have gotten us the money,” he grumbled. If she’d just been effective in her job, they could have landed a deal earlier on. Now he has no way of even contacting him. She seemed to have ‘misplaced’ his details.
“His wife’s cheating on him. He doesn’t need you to take sleazy photos to confront her with,” she took another slice of the dreadful Hawaiian pizza without looking up.
“You can’t know that!”
“Five minutes with the guy and you will. Have you even thought of being a real detective?”
“I am a real detective!” He’s got the trench coat and gentleman’s hat to prove that. He’s even bought a little calabash pipe. To use when he’s thinking to deduce some case that needs deducing.
“Oh, look,” she gestured in mock awe at the empty box behind her that was supposed to hold the records of cases they’ve closed. “You could have fooled me.”
“If I could just have a chance to solve one case then it’s going to be a start to creating a name for myself. Problem is my assistant that’s supposed to be taking cases is not doing her job!”
“If there were any real cases, you’d hear from me.”
He looked unsure. “Really now…?”
“Or not.” The shadow of a smirk could be seen on her lips.
He stood up and threw down his remaining pizza crust and it bounced off from his newly shined oxfords. “You are the most aggravating person I have ever met!”
“So fire me.”
“No, I’m not going to do that,” he said without missing a beat. God knows he needs her help. Which is weird because all she does is not do her job. Not do anything around here for the matter. But somehow he knows he just needs her.
“Why did you take this job anyway? I know it’s not for the money, that’s glaringly sure.”
“I was bored.”
Nino stood there, hands on his waist. “You were bored.”
“Did I stutter?”
“I guess having a detective as a boss does sound exciting.” He looked a little smug about that.
“Not when you are said boss.”
He gave a sharp glare. He wished she could have seen that in the least but she’d returned to her magazine again. He was about to say something again when they were suddenly engulfed in pitch blackness.
He won’t confirm or deny the identity of the person who had let out a certain high-pitched girlish scream.
“Oh, yeah. Electric bills haven’t been paid.”
She seemed to hear someone breathing into a paper bag.
“I-I managed to figure that out on my own, thank you very much.”
He tried to concentrate on the sounds of the carriages outside. The horses’ hooves pounding on the ground. The sound of her opening her drawer. The striking of a match. Relief washed over him when he saw her face bathed in the flame’s light as she lit the candle wick.
He’s never been happier to see those indifferent eyes of hers.
And then he felt that nagging suspicion. “You knew they were going to cut off the lights today?”
“Yeah.” She was looking to see if there was another candle somewhere.
He breathed into the paper bag and then started for her slowly. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? So I can ready myself!”
“Your scream’s funny. I wanted to hear it again.”
He gave a growl. “That’s why you volunteered to stay later than usual! I knew there had to be a reason!”
“You’re starting to develop a detective’s instinct. That’s good. Hurray.”
“Stop mocking me!”
He had stopped in front of her and swiveled her chair to face him. He placed his hands on the chair’s arms and leaned down to her eye level, visibly annoyed.
“Too close,” she said, still unaffected.
“I don’t care. If it annoys you, I’ll do it. I’m taking a leaf out of your book.”
“Whatever.”
He clenched his jaw. How does he break someone this- this emotionless.
“If you took this kind of energy into finding a case on your own outside then maybe you won’t have to be sleeping in the dark for long.”
He gave a small frown.
“Why don’t you go up Dr. Nakamura’s creepy mansion? You’ve heard the story. He’s trying to find his long lost daughter and claims someone’s sent a letter holding the clue.”
“It’s creepy.” That was that.
“Your fear of the dark just shows you can’t become a good detective.”
“Cases don’t have to involve creepy mansions, going into dark dungeons, or solving ten year old crimes that could end us up in other strange places that have a strong absence of light.”
“Those are the kinds of cases that generate the most money.”
“Nonsense.”
“Can you not push in your face closer?”
“What? I’m not doing that.”
“Your top-notch powers of deduction amazes me. You just did it again.”
“Are you annoyed yet?”
“Are you going to take the case?”
“Why do you want me to take the case? So you can hear my scream once more?”
“That is my initial thought. It’s just delightful. And I was under the impression money is needed to pay for bills. What?” She finished when he was looking at her funny.
Nino couldn’t quite put his finger on it before. You know, about the part of him that just knows he needs her help. That he needs her… And for some reason, as he took her in, everything just clicked into place. He just managed to connect every little detail, every little piece of information as if it’s nothing. His brain had never functioned this effectively in seeing the whole picture before.
He thought all the things she did was just to annoy him… But in truth…
She’d been fending off clients for him not because she didn’t want to work. She didn’t want him to end up being just one of those sleazy P.I.s. He’d be betraying his craft if he’d stooped that low… No matter how low they were on funds, she was trying to protect him from making the wrong choices…
And now, she had stayed back knowing his, um, concerns when it comes to the dark… Was she concerned for him…? And perhaps trying to force him into facing the hard fact that he needs to assert himself instead of just waiting for cheap cases… She wants him to become what he aspires to be… Throwing him completely into the dark was completely unnecessary in his opinion, but then that could be really for his own good… He should stop being such a coward and go change things for himself…
Always mocking him… Always challenging him… Asking him why he would think of becoming a detective… She was giving him a push… More like a shove and some good kicking really but she had his best interest at heart…
“Yo.”
His eyes snapped to her, locking her gaze with his. Even in the dark, he could see her. Really see her… Something stirred in his heart.
“You really think I’m not a real detective?”
“Yeah, so does Mr. Yamada from the pizza shop. We talk sometimes.”
She was still trying to come off like she couldn’t care less for him… When he already knows… He’s figured her all out…
“I think I am…”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because I’ve finally figured this out…” He started to lean in further; inch by slow inch.
“What?”
He started to waver a bit. “This.”
“What is ‘this’?”
“This!” He blurted out, frustration mounting. She should know what he’s talking about! She’s always been acting like she knows more than he does. But right now, that’s not the case at all.
“Oh my God.” She said tonelessly. “The shock must have caused you to pull a vein in your brain or something.”
Could he have just gotten it all wrong…? Was this just another effect of reading too much detective novels as she had pointed out before when he tends to get overly dramatic sometimes? Or maybe he really did just pull a vein in his brain.
“I’m not a real detective, am I…?” Okay, what did he just say? He’d just secured her derision for the rest of his days.
Something flickered in her eyes. But it had gone in an instant.
“If you still need to ask me...”
He pushed off and stepped back, his lips pursed. He really thought he had it. It did look very impressive in his mind as he made all those connections. And those flashbacks with new information. But maybe he was just not cut out for this. Maybe he needs to have a change of career. A magician maybe? Because he didn’t know where he pulled all of those from.
She looked at the time.
“You’re leaving?” He sputtered as she stood up to collect her things. He really should not do that. But his fear of the dark is a matter of grave importance.
“You’ll live.”
She slung the messenger bag over her shoulder and swiped her newsboy cap as she headed for the door.
“Think about Dr. Nakamura.”
“He’s the last person I’d want to think about in this-“
“You want to be a real detective.”
“I am a real detective.” He then said almost grudgingly.
“You could be getting there.”
He saw that look behind her eyes, tried to hold on to it but it was gone again.
“If you manage to survive the night.” Her lips quirked into a mocking smirk and he scowled at it.
She was out the door in the next moment.
He looked at the closed door for a while and then moved his feet, towards the windows. He pulled down the blinds a crack. She had stepped onto the crowded street; the newsboy cap on her head. She then jammed her hands into her pants pockets and was off. His eyes followed her.
Something didn’t feel quite right…
Was she just feigning ignorance then…?
Could it be…?
He stepped away from the window when she’d rounded a corner. He stood there for a while, contemplating things and then gave a shake of his head and chuckled out loud.
Nah. It couldn’t be.
It’s not about his questionable skills or lack thereof of any actual skills but this was Mao they were talking about. The one who’s eternally apathetic; he didn’t think she’d ever cared about anything.
So all those theories he’d come up with? Probably just a side effect of- He tried to rack his brain for the answer.
Hawaiian pizzas.
He really doesn’t like them.
But for some reason can’t make himself stay away from them.
He’ll just settle for this explanation in the meantime because the dark is starting to get to him again. He looked around, jumping at the slightest noise.
Mao’s mocking smirk suddenly came back to him and like before, he scowled at it.
He’ll show her!
He’s going to get through this night and then march up to Dr. Nakamura’s creepy mansion tomorrow. And make sure they talk in a place preferably with a lot of sun present.
Though he had a strong feeling it’s the result she was hoping for…
Nevertheless he’ll still show her.
His eyes darted around once again, silently praying Dr. Nakamura has no plans in visiting his dreams tonight.
“Yeah.” Inoue Mao bit into her slice and turned back to her magazine.
Ninomiya Kazunari narrowed his eyes at his apathetic assistant. Why did she have to just love these? It was all she’s been ordering for the past week. He’s been picking out the pineapples at first because he hated them. And she always orders extra pineapples! But as the days passed he was growing tired of the effort. In the end, he would just pretend they were something else. He gave an annoyed glare and took a slice, heading for his desk.
He could just step in and order a different one. But somehow, it serves as a consolation to her; he’s been late in giving her salary. A lot late. And she does love them. So…
“Has anyone called while I was out?”
“No.”
“Did Mr. Kamenashi ever follow up on the case he wanted us to handle?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, call him and ask if he wants us investigating into it.”
“Can’t. Our phone lines have been cut off.”
He almost choked on a piece of ham. “Since when?!”
“No idea. Last week?” She didn’t really care.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He was trying not to shout. It would just leave him a lot more agitated seeing as it doesn’t affect her at all. Nothing does.
No wonder he hasn’t heard the phone ring. Granted that it’s not really always ringing off the hook… He should do something about his advertisements. They could need a little more pizaz.
“You’re the detective. You could have found out soon if you were any good.”
He opened and closed his mouth. “That’s why I hired you! You’re supposed to take care of these things for me!”
She looked up from her magazine and stared at him with her usual deadpan face. He seemed to think having an assistant doesn’t require him to work his brains when it comes to ‘those things’.
“Do you have any money?”
Okay, that question got him. “Well… No…”
“You really are the worst detective. Why did you ever think of becoming one?”
“Oi, don’t talk to me like that! I’m still your boss!”
Damn those Sherlock Holmes books and poor parenting skills. Couldn’t they just have told him the truth? That he doesn’t have the talent for this? But it’s imprinted in his brain to think it’s his calling.
She didn’t seem to hear him nor cared to.
“Mr. Kamenashi’s request could have gotten us the money,” he grumbled. If she’d just been effective in her job, they could have landed a deal earlier on. Now he has no way of even contacting him. She seemed to have ‘misplaced’ his details.
“His wife’s cheating on him. He doesn’t need you to take sleazy photos to confront her with,” she took another slice of the dreadful Hawaiian pizza without looking up.
“You can’t know that!”
“Five minutes with the guy and you will. Have you even thought of being a real detective?”
“I am a real detective!” He’s got the trench coat and gentleman’s hat to prove that. He’s even bought a little calabash pipe. To use when he’s thinking to deduce some case that needs deducing.
“Oh, look,” she gestured in mock awe at the empty box behind her that was supposed to hold the records of cases they’ve closed. “You could have fooled me.”
“If I could just have a chance to solve one case then it’s going to be a start to creating a name for myself. Problem is my assistant that’s supposed to be taking cases is not doing her job!”
“If there were any real cases, you’d hear from me.”
He looked unsure. “Really now…?”
“Or not.” The shadow of a smirk could be seen on her lips.
He stood up and threw down his remaining pizza crust and it bounced off from his newly shined oxfords. “You are the most aggravating person I have ever met!”
“So fire me.”
“No, I’m not going to do that,” he said without missing a beat. God knows he needs her help. Which is weird because all she does is not do her job. Not do anything around here for the matter. But somehow he knows he just needs her.
“Why did you take this job anyway? I know it’s not for the money, that’s glaringly sure.”
“I was bored.”
Nino stood there, hands on his waist. “You were bored.”
“Did I stutter?”
“I guess having a detective as a boss does sound exciting.” He looked a little smug about that.
“Not when you are said boss.”
He gave a sharp glare. He wished she could have seen that in the least but she’d returned to her magazine again. He was about to say something again when they were suddenly engulfed in pitch blackness.
He won’t confirm or deny the identity of the person who had let out a certain high-pitched girlish scream.
“Oh, yeah. Electric bills haven’t been paid.”
She seemed to hear someone breathing into a paper bag.
“I-I managed to figure that out on my own, thank you very much.”
He tried to concentrate on the sounds of the carriages outside. The horses’ hooves pounding on the ground. The sound of her opening her drawer. The striking of a match. Relief washed over him when he saw her face bathed in the flame’s light as she lit the candle wick.
He’s never been happier to see those indifferent eyes of hers.
And then he felt that nagging suspicion. “You knew they were going to cut off the lights today?”
“Yeah.” She was looking to see if there was another candle somewhere.
He breathed into the paper bag and then started for her slowly. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? So I can ready myself!”
“Your scream’s funny. I wanted to hear it again.”
He gave a growl. “That’s why you volunteered to stay later than usual! I knew there had to be a reason!”
“You’re starting to develop a detective’s instinct. That’s good. Hurray.”
“Stop mocking me!”
He had stopped in front of her and swiveled her chair to face him. He placed his hands on the chair’s arms and leaned down to her eye level, visibly annoyed.
“Too close,” she said, still unaffected.
“I don’t care. If it annoys you, I’ll do it. I’m taking a leaf out of your book.”
“Whatever.”
He clenched his jaw. How does he break someone this- this emotionless.
“If you took this kind of energy into finding a case on your own outside then maybe you won’t have to be sleeping in the dark for long.”
He gave a small frown.
“Why don’t you go up Dr. Nakamura’s creepy mansion? You’ve heard the story. He’s trying to find his long lost daughter and claims someone’s sent a letter holding the clue.”
“It’s creepy.” That was that.
“Your fear of the dark just shows you can’t become a good detective.”
“Cases don’t have to involve creepy mansions, going into dark dungeons, or solving ten year old crimes that could end us up in other strange places that have a strong absence of light.”
“Those are the kinds of cases that generate the most money.”
“Nonsense.”
“Can you not push in your face closer?”
“What? I’m not doing that.”
“Your top-notch powers of deduction amazes me. You just did it again.”
“Are you annoyed yet?”
“Are you going to take the case?”
“Why do you want me to take the case? So you can hear my scream once more?”
“That is my initial thought. It’s just delightful. And I was under the impression money is needed to pay for bills. What?” She finished when he was looking at her funny.
Nino couldn’t quite put his finger on it before. You know, about the part of him that just knows he needs her help. That he needs her… And for some reason, as he took her in, everything just clicked into place. He just managed to connect every little detail, every little piece of information as if it’s nothing. His brain had never functioned this effectively in seeing the whole picture before.
He thought all the things she did was just to annoy him… But in truth…
She’d been fending off clients for him not because she didn’t want to work. She didn’t want him to end up being just one of those sleazy P.I.s. He’d be betraying his craft if he’d stooped that low… No matter how low they were on funds, she was trying to protect him from making the wrong choices…
And now, she had stayed back knowing his, um, concerns when it comes to the dark… Was she concerned for him…? And perhaps trying to force him into facing the hard fact that he needs to assert himself instead of just waiting for cheap cases… She wants him to become what he aspires to be… Throwing him completely into the dark was completely unnecessary in his opinion, but then that could be really for his own good… He should stop being such a coward and go change things for himself…
Always mocking him… Always challenging him… Asking him why he would think of becoming a detective… She was giving him a push… More like a shove and some good kicking really but she had his best interest at heart…
“Yo.”
His eyes snapped to her, locking her gaze with his. Even in the dark, he could see her. Really see her… Something stirred in his heart.
“You really think I’m not a real detective?”
“Yeah, so does Mr. Yamada from the pizza shop. We talk sometimes.”
She was still trying to come off like she couldn’t care less for him… When he already knows… He’s figured her all out…
“I think I am…”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because I’ve finally figured this out…” He started to lean in further; inch by slow inch.
“What?”
He started to waver a bit. “This.”
“What is ‘this’?”
“This!” He blurted out, frustration mounting. She should know what he’s talking about! She’s always been acting like she knows more than he does. But right now, that’s not the case at all.
“Oh my God.” She said tonelessly. “The shock must have caused you to pull a vein in your brain or something.”
Could he have just gotten it all wrong…? Was this just another effect of reading too much detective novels as she had pointed out before when he tends to get overly dramatic sometimes? Or maybe he really did just pull a vein in his brain.
“I’m not a real detective, am I…?” Okay, what did he just say? He’d just secured her derision for the rest of his days.
Something flickered in her eyes. But it had gone in an instant.
“If you still need to ask me...”
He pushed off and stepped back, his lips pursed. He really thought he had it. It did look very impressive in his mind as he made all those connections. And those flashbacks with new information. But maybe he was just not cut out for this. Maybe he needs to have a change of career. A magician maybe? Because he didn’t know where he pulled all of those from.
She looked at the time.
“You’re leaving?” He sputtered as she stood up to collect her things. He really should not do that. But his fear of the dark is a matter of grave importance.
“You’ll live.”
She slung the messenger bag over her shoulder and swiped her newsboy cap as she headed for the door.
“Think about Dr. Nakamura.”
“He’s the last person I’d want to think about in this-“
“You want to be a real detective.”
“I am a real detective.” He then said almost grudgingly.
“You could be getting there.”
He saw that look behind her eyes, tried to hold on to it but it was gone again.
“If you manage to survive the night.” Her lips quirked into a mocking smirk and he scowled at it.
She was out the door in the next moment.
He looked at the closed door for a while and then moved his feet, towards the windows. He pulled down the blinds a crack. She had stepped onto the crowded street; the newsboy cap on her head. She then jammed her hands into her pants pockets and was off. His eyes followed her.
Something didn’t feel quite right…
Was she just feigning ignorance then…?
Could it be…?
He stepped away from the window when she’d rounded a corner. He stood there for a while, contemplating things and then gave a shake of his head and chuckled out loud.
Nah. It couldn’t be.
It’s not about his questionable skills or lack thereof of any actual skills but this was Mao they were talking about. The one who’s eternally apathetic; he didn’t think she’d ever cared about anything.
So all those theories he’d come up with? Probably just a side effect of- He tried to rack his brain for the answer.
Hawaiian pizzas.
He really doesn’t like them.
But for some reason can’t make himself stay away from them.
He’ll just settle for this explanation in the meantime because the dark is starting to get to him again. He looked around, jumping at the slightest noise.
Mao’s mocking smirk suddenly came back to him and like before, he scowled at it.
He’ll show her!
He’s going to get through this night and then march up to Dr. Nakamura’s creepy mansion tomorrow. And make sure they talk in a place preferably with a lot of sun present.
Though he had a strong feeling it’s the result she was hoping for…
Nevertheless he’ll still show her.
His eyes darted around once again, silently praying Dr. Nakamura has no plans in visiting his dreams tonight.