Fanfic [TEGOPI] Final - Multichapter
Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 ||
Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 ||
Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12
“Ne, Pi, if you don’t have any plans after work…why don’t you come by again?”
Yamapi was caught by surprise, and suddenly felt a rush of hot blood run through his veins, leaving him almost with a dizzy feeling for a split second before he casually replied, “Sure, I think I can arrange that.” He smirked at the happy looking boy in front of him “What do you want to eat?”
“Ah,- well… may I ask what do you want?” Tegoshi bit his lip uncomfortable and bent down to pick up Teeny from the floor once he noticed her running towards the open door. “For a change I can make us some dinner?” he then suggested, stroking the little dog gently as he pressed her against his chest.
Yamapi nodded, “How about,..” he hesitated, thinking through all options he knew the boy was able to cook safely. “..how about…”
He was cut off suddenly by the younger, “Let me surprise you with something good, ok?”
Yamapi smiled cheekily, “You sure you can handle cooking already?”
“Of course! Now leave or you’ll be late~” the boy almost shouted watching Yamapi walk out the door with a grin on his face.
It had been a slightly rough week for Yamapi. Taking care of Tegoshi and his job hadn’t been that easy, but those smiles on the younger’s lips made it all worthwhile, and knowing he could make a difference was enough for the young idol to keep going and smiling himself. After another hectic morning at Tegoshi’s place and an irritating afternoon at work he was more than happy when for once he could return home earlier as planned. The young man entered his apartment exhausted, but almost everything was forgotten as soon as he switched on the stereo and the room was filled with his favorite tunes.
The young idol let himself fall onto his soft bed and opened the bedside drawer. He pulled out a small black stone and held it up into the air. The wide window of his bedroom allowed the last sunrays of today to fall playfully on the small item, which brought a smile onto Yamapi’s lips. Ever since that night he had kept the stone at home where it would be save. It was just a stone, yes, but it was very special to him. Special enough that he worried he could lose it, and therefore felt the need to check on it every night before going to sleep. He knew that it was mostly impossible for the stone to just disappear, but that little fact didn’t change anything the slightest.
Tonight he would fall asleep with a smile on his face, he thought. Yamapi had been quite happy about how things went the past weeks, things in general, because work seemed to overall go quite smoothly, but mostly the relationship between Tegoshi and him. He was almost certain they finally reached a level where they could call their ‘new’ relationship a real friendship. More or less, at least he was sure their current level would allow them to at somehow spend a little time together again, which was most precious of all he could think of. It was almost as if he had been given some sort of second chance. Tegoshi had been a great influence on him from the start, even back when he didn’t fully understand it. Yamapi was certain that the major change in his attitude only did him well, and Tegoshi also gave him a reason to go on; something to fight for.
The next morning Yamapi realized once again that he shouldn’t take anything for granted, because today’s work had held the young star back more than in a long time. Everything just seemed never ending and it began to frustrate the him, because he had plans to see Tegoshi for dinner.
After another hectic hour running around from interview to interview, he could finally spare a minute to call Tegoshi and see how he was doing. Until now Yamapi was certain that their plans to meet were still on, but the moment he was about to dial the other’s number his manager came in to break the news; he had to stay for at least another five hours tonight.
Yamapi couldn’t believe it and tried everything to get his appointments sorted for the next days but there was no helping it, he had to attend most of it tonight. He had no clue how to tell this Tegoshi, but unfortunately there was no way around it. Yamapi felt the muscles around his chest tighten as he dialed the young singer’s number and waited anxious for him to pick up, which he did after the 4th ring.
“Hey, Pi!”
A cheerful and very familiar voice greeted him and he wished he didn’t have to call because of these matters.
“Hey…” Yamapi hesitated slightly before continuing, “Yuya, listen… “
“..yeah?” the younger boy asked slightly irritated.
“I can’t make it tonight, for dinner. I’m sorry but I’m stuck with something important at work and there is no way I can leave before midnight.”
“Oh, I see.”
Tegoshi would have lied if he had said he didn’t mind because he had been running around his kitchen for the last hour and half to prepare something eatable for tonight, but of course he knew he had no right to complain and therefore didn’t directly show how crushed he was. He was crushed mostly though because he now had to be on his own again tonight, when he was looking forward to see Yamapi.
“I’m really sorry Yuya, I didn’t mean to cancel ‘cause I..”
“Nah, it’s fine Pi.” The younger boy smiled into the phone as if Yamapi could have seen it, “I understand, so don’t worry.”
Tegoshi somehow knew that things weren’t supposed to be going this smoothly. The past weeks had been like a present sent from above. The time he could spend with Yamapi was great; no it was fantastic and more than he could have wished for. He knew that now everything had to stop being that great, because life normally didn’t go that well, did it?
“Let us re-schedule for some other night, ok?!” Yamapi threw in quickly, wishing for things to work out well. He wasn’t thrilled to miss tonight’s dinner, not at all, but he had to make the best out of it, right? Yamapi hoped that Tegoshi would understand.
“Sure.” The young boy bit his lip.
“Good. But you know I was really curious about what you were going to cook, I really want to taste it!”
Tegoshi chuckled at the thought, wondering if Yamapi would really like his cooking because yet he never actually had the chance to prepare anything for the two of them.
Tegoshi’s voice dropped slightly but he spoke as cheerful as he could, “I will cook for you some other time, promise.”
Tegoshi counted the seconds and wished for Yamapi to say something in response; anything really would have been enough, because he just didn’t want to hang up again especially since he couldn’t see him tonight like he wished he could. The young boy tugged at his dark blue shirt which hugged his body loosely, and he walked up toward his living room sofa, not sure what else to say and the fact that there was no reply whatsoever he was about to say goodbye.
After another short moment of silence his phone came back to life.
“Anyways, Yuya…” Yamapi stumbled clumsily. “I will try to get back at you as soon as possible ne, so please take some more rest!…”
“Sure… have a good day.. Yamashita-kun.”
In the end, Yamapi heard the disappointment in the other’s voice and it broke his heart. “I will send you a mail in a bit, got to go now!”
Tegoshi sighed and shoved his mobile phone into the back pocket of his pants and walked back into the kitchen to finish what he started to fix roughly an hour ago. He couldn’t believe he had to eat it by himself now.
“Don’t think things will go well at all anymore…it’s just hopeless isn’t it?.. I mean…damnit, just look at this mess you’re in! Seriously double Damnit, Yuya why did you fall for that guy…Just let go already..” the young singer started to talk to himself; cursing and sighing all the way through eating, until he was finished with his portion. He threw out the rest of the meal because he didn’t want to be reminded of tonight whenever he would actually warm it up again, he wouldn’t be able to eat just a single spoonful; it would simply hurt too much.
No matter how lonely tonight’s dinner was or how much he hated himself for wanting to talk to Yamapi, he just couldn’t let go. Not yet and probably never. Tegoshi had always looked up to Yamapi and it was almost natural for him to ‘like’ the other man simply because he naturally did. There was no helping it; he lost his heart the moment he heard the other’s name on TV. Without even seeing the boy’s face he knew there was something magical to him and when he actually listened to him speak, which wasn’t much in his early drama, Tegoshi felt something tighten around his chest and he never questioned his feelings again. He knew it was something deep and fortunately or unfortunately it never went away, this feeling he got when he heard Yamapi’s voice.
As he cleaned up the dishes, a mail reached his phone and it rang a couple times. The young singer turned around at spotted it lying on the table, where it had been abandoned a while ago. Tegoshi accidentally dropped a spoon and fork which he was about to put away, as he rushed to get his mail.
“Hey there! Did you have a good night? I’m sorry again for canceling, but I hope you will forgive me. You will, right? (^-^*) ---- I’m in the taxi now, heading toward another office. Wonder why they need me to rush there tonight! Talk to you soon, ok!? Have a good night.”
Tegoshi shook his head as he closed his phone and shoved it back into his pants, “Yeah my night was brilliant!...can’t wait to do it again…” He sighed again and bent down to pick up the dropped items off the floor. “gah; whatever..hope you have good night too…” Tegoshi’s voice dropped, barely audible and he finished the clean up before heading to bed.
A smile crept back on the boys lips when he saw his little dog waiting on his bed for him. “Hey sweetie!” he whispered.
Teeny barely opened her eyes when Tegoshi crawled under the sheets next to her, but wiggled her tail to show she was quite happy to see him.
“At least you are here to keep me company..” He mumbled before quickly falling asleep.
The following two weeks Tegoshi hardly heard from Yamapi. It felt like the past weeks before this had only been a good dream, a wonderful dream which he sadly had to wake from. It wasn’t fun at all to suddenly feel like being left alone. No phone calls and only a quick message every second day or so. He stopped counting and probably didn’t reply to some, because yes, he felt as if he suddenly wasn’t worth calling anymore…. Although, deep down he knew that he was totally over reacting and Yamapi probably had just too much to do. Like usually. Yet he couldn’t help but feel annoyed and just tried to ignore the ache in his heart each night, after a day without hearing from him.
It was probably his pride why he didn’t call Yamapi on his own accord, and why he didn’t ask what Yamapi was doing or when he’d be free to hang out. Tegoshi knew it was silly to act like a jealous school girl and he sometimes wished he wasn’t like that, but he wasn’t going to change his character now, he couldn’t.
It was Friday morning and Tegoshi just got out of bed, heading for the bathroom when his cell phone rang. It was a mail from Yamapi and even though he was still quite annoyed that the older man didn’t call at all, he didn’t waste another second to read it.
“Good Morning! Sorry I fell asleep last night… But I’m glad to hear you are feeling better! Ah, I need to hurry!! Have a good day.”
The young singer sighed. With each message he still hoped to read something like ‘can I come over?’ or ‘can we have dinner?’ but he never mentioned anything at all, which frustrated Tegoshi madly. He couldn’t feel spoiled right now, he knew it, Yamapi had done so much for him the past weeks that he was in no state to actually feel neglected.
“Get a damn grip Yuya! You are a grown man, and so is he. Get back to work yourself you idiot…” Tegoshi sighed again, he really had to get back to work or else he’d fall into a deep hole of self pity which wasn’t his style at all and he knew it. There was no need to pretend to be sick anymore; Yamapi wouldn’t just come back running, would he? He had no reason to do so and more over, he was probably working his butt off right now, when Tegoshi instead was lazing around. It’s just…everything was just so easy and cozy with the older singer caring for him that he wished it could be like this every day and night.
“I’m not a damn baby! What the fuck is wrong with me…” He shook his head, “I don’t NEED him!...No, I don’t need him.” The young singer shouted and kicked the wall. His voice dropped and he felt like sobbing instead now.
“I just… I just want to be around him…I just… want to be loved by him… but that just makes me pathetic, because it was me who sent him away…” Tegoshi wanted to bang his head against the wall he had just kicked with all his might, but Teeny’s barking caught his attention and he turned around to spot the little fur ball sitting lazily on his sofa.
A weak smile slowly made its way onto the young idol’s lips. “Well baby, let’s get you back to mom first.”
The weather people promised a warmer and sunny day and because Tegoshi really felt better, he decided to play soccer later. Soccer always had been the most exciting way to get back on track. He already made plans to play for the rest of the day until maybe even tomorrow morning. Playing until midnight had always been a lot of fun with his friends, and it was just the start of his last free weekend.
Teeny came running and watched Tegoshi pack his soccer bag. She knew that something was going on and showed how much she disliked moving out by barking around like a little nuisance.
After Tegoshi dropped her off at his mom’s place he drove down to the nearby club where he would meet his friend. Tegoshi already played with said friend a few days ago and he noticed how much he had missed kicking balls.
“One more shot and you are free for today!”
Yamapi heard the assistant say as he was getting changed for another quick, thrown in photo shooting. He sighed for the nth time today and shook his head in annoyance, “How many times did I hear that sentence the past week? It never came true…”
After another hour of standing still and looking pretty, the young singer finally finished another rough week where he hardly had time to breath, or so it felt as everyone was occupying him with things he knew he wanted to do and discuss but seriously, sometimes it was just too much to handle. Working this much also meant to neglect those things he wanted to do in his free time, and those people he wanted to see in his free time, but free time really didn’t exist sometimes.
Yamapi made his way out of the building and headed toward the busy road to catch a cab. There were times when he didn’t mind being busy at all but also times where he hated it more than anything else, and right he wished he had a normal life for once.
Jumping into a green taxi he pulled out his mobile phone and texted the person he had neglected the most recently.
“Hey there! Sorry for the late call, but are you free tomorrow night? It’s Saturday, right? You might be already having plans … but if not, I’d be happy if we could catch up on last week. Well, Oyasumi.”
After a long soccer night Tegoshi yet woke very early in the morning to find Yamapi’s message from last night blinking on the small display. He read it while brushing his teeth and even though Tegoshi felt a lot of irritation he couldn’t stop a smile forming on his lips. The thought of finally seeing Yamapi again felt like it would burst his chest, and all the anger from last week slowly crumbled to dust. He hurriedly typed back a reply mail; he didn’t even mind his wet fingers mess up the sensitive display.
“Good Morning Mr. Work-until-Late! It is Saturday, yes and I do already have plans…But you’re lucky, I’ll cancel my soccer training for you (^-~)Y ---- You just better show up this time~”
If someone asked him for advice, Tegoshi would tell them to never sound like you’d do anything for the person you like, just because. But when it came to himself and Yamapi, for some odd reason he couldn’t care less. The sudden excitement messed with his head and somehow he wanted Yamapi to know he wanted to see him, because, well you never know but maybe sometimes being honest works its wonder.
The next instant he called his friends to change schedules and instead of all afternoon he asked to play right now. It worked; they agreed and could meet up as soon as possible. Tegoshi grabbed his bags and rushed out the door as an incoming message caught his attention;-
“Good Morning back! ((^^)) -
Are you serious?
….. m(._.)m
Ah! I’m glad I will get to see you after all tonight!”
A smile crept on the young boy’s lips, ‘Well, I’m not gonna cancel after all, but let’s just let you think I did…’ Tegoshi somehow did like the thought of the other feeling rather grateful for him to cancel his plans just to see him. Tegoshi had no intention of ruining that little magic.
“7 pm, I’ll cook. How does it sound?”
The young singer typed back excited like a school girl on Valentine’s Day, or so he assumed. Tegoshi ran down the hallway and toward a parking taxi.
Yamapi’s reply came fast, “Sounds P.E.R.F.E.C.T!!! Can’t wait.” Tegoshi was sure the stupid smile wouldn’t leave his lips the entire day, but for some odd reason he didn’t mind.
After his training Tegoshi went to that small grocery shop down the street and bought a lot of vegetables and drinks for tonight. He decided on cooking the only dish he could prepare in his sleep; spicy Indian curry. He didn’t remember where he had picked up that certain recipe, probably one night when he was channel surfing and stranded on one of those countless cooking shows.
Sometimes he watched those because it was quite easy to fall asleep, and sometimes he even picked up a little, but only sometimes.
Anyways, he loved this Indian curry and was sure Yamapi would fall for it as well.
Tonight Tegoshi wasn’t tied to his kitchen for all too long and when the curry was almost done he decided to watch his sports channel to pick up on the latest happenings. Since his preparations went so smoothly, everything seemed to be done quite early and he had some time to spare before Yamapi would show up.
He hopped onto his sofa and pulled a brown fluffy blanket over his knees as he switched on the TV. The young singer suddenly felt very sleepy and tried hard not to close his eyes, but eventually he did and within seconds he passed out.
A text message reached his phone and he slightly freaked at the sudden sound and hammering vibrations against the table.
“Yuya! I’m sorry but something came up and I won’t make it tonight…”
“Not again…” Tegoshi sighed and dropped back onto his sofa and pulled the blanket back over his head. He knew he couldn’t be angry at the other for canceling, again, yet he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Not to mention he had to eat everything by himself, again.
Things were just not going smooth at all and he feared that he really had to give up on hoping they could get together again.
After what seemed like hours of deep sleep Tegoshi woke at the incredible annoying sound of someone hammering against his door. Tegoshi lazily pulled down the heavy blanked and rubbed his eyes. The hammering didn’t stop and forced him get up.
The young boy felt somehow horrible; his legs hurt and his lower back ached with every move. He could have sworn he woke up a long time ago already, and wasn’t he just reading Yamapi’s text message?
Tegoshi opened the door and his jaw dropped when he saw the older singer stand right in front of him.
This felt quite messed up.
“Hey there.” Yamapi smiled, “Finally! There was no response for too long that I started to worry….”
“Yamashita-kun? How come?” Tegoshi’s eyes widened in surprise, “I thought you couldn’t make it?” he asked confused.
The older man responded with a surprised look and a high pitched, “Huh?” while Tegoshi opened the door and let him inside.
“Are you sure? I totally planned to be here tonight as I said I would…” Yamapi took off his coat and threw it over a chair. He tried to remember if he had sent Tegoshi a wrong text earlier as he canceled some other invitation, but he was sure he didn’t.
Tegoshi shrugged, “Didn’t you send me a mail? I could swear you did. Wait let me check.” Yamapi followed the younger curiously and dropped onto the sofa while Tegoshi looked through his mails.
“Nothing.” He whispered in surprise.
“Did you sleep?” the older man poked Tegoshi’s cheek, “You look a bit messed up you know.”
“Oh shush! ~” Tegoshi hissed, which earned him some giggles.
“Don’t tell me you had a bad dream, about me canceling tonight’s dinner.” Yamapi joked, not knowing how right he was with that. Tegoshi rolled his eyes, “Yeah right.”
“I bet you did..” the older man giggled even more now, “that’s quite sweet you know.”
Tegoshi offered the other a chair and whispered to himself, “Oh god maybe I really did dream…”
It took them another few minutes before they could enjoy tonight’s dinner as Tegoshi fixed his dish.
Yamapi watched the boy closely and with a smile on his lips as he was served a delicious looking curry and a glass of white wine.
As they both finally gathered around the table there was exciting music playing in the living from and watching Tegoshi’s proud face made Yamapi smiled even more, “This looks pretty amazing Yuya! Don’t tell me you did this all by yourself!”
The young boy rolled his eyes slightly embarrassed, “Of course I did, what kind of person would I be, if I’d offer you something someone else prepared and tell you it’s my treat?”
Yamapi grinned, “Can’t wait to taste it..” And he didn’t wait much longer before digging in, and seriously loving each bite of it. The older singer kept on telling the other how much he loved it, over and over that it started to be slightly annoying. Nevertheless Tegoshi felt happy about every single word coming from the others lips tonight, he couldn’t have wished for a better dinner.
They remained seated over their empty plates and wine glasses for another couple of hours chatting and listening to the background music. Yamapi kept telling stories from work and what he heard on the news recently. Tegoshi listened carefully and interested, stealing glances at Yamapi whenever the other wouldn’t look. They enjoyed each other’s company and didn’t want to get up at all but eventually they did once they realized it was getting pretty late.
Yamapi joined Tegoshi by the sink, “Wait, I’ll help you with the dishes.” He offered with a smile but Tegoshi only shook his head and replied in a low voice, “No need to. I’m too lazy to do anything right now, just leave it for tomorrow.”
The other was quite surprised at Tegoshi’s response but didn’t refuse when he asked to watch a little TV before calling it a night. Tegoshi asked Yamapi to go ahead while he would make coffee.
Moments later Tegoshi followed Yamapi with two cups of coffee and crawled onto the sofa next to him. He didn’t think twice about filling the spot right next to the older singer and shamelessly dropped his head against his shoulder. The young boy drew in his legs and pulled a fluffy brown blanket over Yamapi and him. Sipping on their hot beverage they searched for something interesting to watch and ended up putting in some random concert DVD Tegoshi once had bought but neither of them watched until now.
Quickly both found their most comfortable spots, Tegoshi stayed cuddled up against the older singer. With his arm around Yamapi’s stomach he felt like stopping time, he wanted to always stay as comfortable as right now.
Roughly 30 minutes later Yamapi fought against his tiredness and tried to focus on the songs, but he was so comfortable that he wished to doze off. Tegoshi next to him was everything he could think of anyways, because it was all he wanted to see hear and feel right. Not just right now, but always.
The concert wasn’t bad but it wasn’t that great either. A few songs later and Yamapi’s thoughts still kept spinning around the younger boy hugging him so sweetly that he closed his eyes for a few minutes and just relaxed.
Suddenly he threw his eyes open and caught his breath when out of the blue he felt Tegoshi’s delicate hand almost feline like move around his stomach and up his chest until it came to a sudden halt around his neck. A surprise, yes and it tickled slightly, yet felt simply good, too good that Yamapi didn’t dare to turn around.
Tegoshi’s hand didn’t move any further but Yamapi thought the rest of his body did. The older man felt the sofa move slightly and a second later he was sure the boy’s breath just tickled against his skin. As he was about to say something Yamapi noticed how suddenly the other’s breath was gone and replaced by the slightly wet, incredibly soft and warm feeling of Tegoshi’s lips.
Even if there were to be a million of people here right now and the chance of the person kissing him was Tegoshi would be less than 1%, Yamapi would be a 100% sure that it had to be Tegoshi. He would recognize those sweetest of lips anywhere and anytime. Of course it had to be Tegoshi though just now, because he was the only person in reach.
And as his thoughts went flying around the globe he was brought back to reality when those said lips never left his neck and instead pressed softly against his skin, and again and again. They kissed him over and over, slowly and tenderly reaching his ear. Yamapi couldn’t move or speak, and he feared if he’d look at Tegoshi right now, he would find that everything wasn’t how he thought….
But he couldn’t imagine things like this could he?
Could he imagine Tegoshi’s soft lips pressing against his neck? Kissing him? Even for him it sounded rather ridiculous to have such vivid imagination. Or so he hoped.
The moment he wanted to find out what was really going on, the younger’s voice reached his ears. Whispering the sweetest and most carefully spoken words he had ever imagined to leave Tegoshi’s lips.
“I love you.”
“You what?..” Yamapi’s eyes widened in shock and he finally moved to look at the other, “Do you have a fever again?” he asked serious, yet it must have sounded rather mockingly. Yamapi couldn’t understand what happened and less could he believe what he had just heard Tegoshi say.
The younger boy tightened his hold on Yamapi’s shoulder and his hand began to shiver slightly. He shook his head slowly and repeated carefully, “I. Love. You.”
They stared at each other in silent before Tegoshi inched forward to slowly but surely close the space between them. A million of questions raced through Yamapi’s mind as he looked down into a pair of deep brown eyes. Overwhelmed and clueless he let the younger pull him down and lead them into a promising sweet kiss. With each second Tegoshi’s breath grew hotter on his skin, and Yamapi instinctively closed his eyes at the soft touch of the other’s lips as they brushed against his ever so carefully. He moved his hands almost naturally around Tegoshi’s waist and pulled his lithe body gently against his, holding the younger boy protectively in his arms as lips caressed lips slow-paced and sensually, savoring the long missed taste and feeling of each other. Tegoshi too locked his arms around Yamapi’s neck in a habitual manner, basking in the sensation of delight and pleasurable emotion.
As they slowly stopped their actions and moved aback, Yamapi stared at the younger singer with hopeful eyes, asking silently for an explanation. Tegoshi cracked a shy smile and whispered, “I love you, Yamashita Tomohisa. Please let me be yours again.”
“What…” Yamapi knew he heard right, and he was sure that Tegoshi wasn’t drunk or anything, yet he had never expected something like this to happen. Wished yes, but never expected.
“What are you saying Yuya?” he whispered, sounding slightly frightened. He should be grateful to fate or whatever it was that brought them here, yes and he shouldn’t question Tegoshi because he knew how true his heart was… but maybe he was afraid of ‘touching the pure’ because it could just crumble away like the first time.
“What? I’m saying I fuckin’ love you and that I miss you and that for god’s sake I can’t live without you anymore!”
A tear escaped Tegoshi’s eye and rolled down his cheek. Yamapi felt his heart stop at the pain in the younger’s visibly hurt expression. “I’m sorry.” Was all he could say before Tegoshi threw himself around his shoulders and buried his face in his neck.
“Don’t say sorry…you are an idiot Yamashita! Do you know that?.. Don’t tell me I should get away…Don’t you dare to reject me…not now, do you hear me… I know I deserve it but just don’t reject me… “ Tegoshi started whining and shouting against Yamapi’s shoulder, his tears wetting the other’s shirt.
When there was no response from the older man whatsoever Tegoshi lifted himself up and pushed his body away, far enough to look at Yamapi but still close enough to feel the other’s heartbeat echo in his mind, “You know, I hate you as much as I love you. You are the worst and the most incredible at the same time.. don’t ever say you’re sorry again..”
“Wait, no!” Yamapi finally came to his senses and acted, it wasn’t his intention to ever hurt his Yuya. “I’m really sorry Yuya!... I didn’t mean to scare or upset you.” Yamapi whispered, and took Tegoshi’s hands in his. “I’m sorry, because I love you too… Can you imagine how you just surprised me?…you know…I don’t blame you for hating me, I gave you enough reasons and if you actually would forgive me for being such an idiot… it would be more than I could have ever wished for..of course I always wished to have you back in my arms, countless times,… so-“ Tegoshi couldn’t stand it any longer and interrupted Yamapi in his speech. The younger boy threw his arms around his leader once more and pulled him down to press his lips against his for another long-lasting kiss.
When eventually they separated unwillingly, Tegoshi locked his fingers around the hem of Yamapi’s shirt and fisted it firmly. With eyes maintaining close contact Tegoshi pouted and Yamapi whispered, “Anything plain can be lovely. And something imperfect can be beautiful.”His words melted Tegoshi`s heart with every letter that left Yamapi’s lips, ever so sweetly.
He wasn’t sure what exactly these words would mean but he knew by the look on Yamapi’s face it can only have positive surprises left for them and their future relationship.
Thank you for reading.
Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 ||
Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12
“Ne, Pi, if you don’t have any plans after work…why don’t you come by again?”
Yamapi was caught by surprise, and suddenly felt a rush of hot blood run through his veins, leaving him almost with a dizzy feeling for a split second before he casually replied, “Sure, I think I can arrange that.” He smirked at the happy looking boy in front of him “What do you want to eat?”
“Ah,- well… may I ask what do you want?” Tegoshi bit his lip uncomfortable and bent down to pick up Teeny from the floor once he noticed her running towards the open door. “For a change I can make us some dinner?” he then suggested, stroking the little dog gently as he pressed her against his chest.
Yamapi nodded, “How about,..” he hesitated, thinking through all options he knew the boy was able to cook safely. “..how about…”
He was cut off suddenly by the younger, “Let me surprise you with something good, ok?”
Yamapi smiled cheekily, “You sure you can handle cooking already?”
“Of course! Now leave or you’ll be late~” the boy almost shouted watching Yamapi walk out the door with a grin on his face.
It had been a slightly rough week for Yamapi. Taking care of Tegoshi and his job hadn’t been that easy, but those smiles on the younger’s lips made it all worthwhile, and knowing he could make a difference was enough for the young idol to keep going and smiling himself. After another hectic morning at Tegoshi’s place and an irritating afternoon at work he was more than happy when for once he could return home earlier as planned. The young man entered his apartment exhausted, but almost everything was forgotten as soon as he switched on the stereo and the room was filled with his favorite tunes.
The young idol let himself fall onto his soft bed and opened the bedside drawer. He pulled out a small black stone and held it up into the air. The wide window of his bedroom allowed the last sunrays of today to fall playfully on the small item, which brought a smile onto Yamapi’s lips. Ever since that night he had kept the stone at home where it would be save. It was just a stone, yes, but it was very special to him. Special enough that he worried he could lose it, and therefore felt the need to check on it every night before going to sleep. He knew that it was mostly impossible for the stone to just disappear, but that little fact didn’t change anything the slightest.
Tonight he would fall asleep with a smile on his face, he thought. Yamapi had been quite happy about how things went the past weeks, things in general, because work seemed to overall go quite smoothly, but mostly the relationship between Tegoshi and him. He was almost certain they finally reached a level where they could call their ‘new’ relationship a real friendship. More or less, at least he was sure their current level would allow them to at somehow spend a little time together again, which was most precious of all he could think of. It was almost as if he had been given some sort of second chance. Tegoshi had been a great influence on him from the start, even back when he didn’t fully understand it. Yamapi was certain that the major change in his attitude only did him well, and Tegoshi also gave him a reason to go on; something to fight for.
The next morning Yamapi realized once again that he shouldn’t take anything for granted, because today’s work had held the young star back more than in a long time. Everything just seemed never ending and it began to frustrate the him, because he had plans to see Tegoshi for dinner.
After another hectic hour running around from interview to interview, he could finally spare a minute to call Tegoshi and see how he was doing. Until now Yamapi was certain that their plans to meet were still on, but the moment he was about to dial the other’s number his manager came in to break the news; he had to stay for at least another five hours tonight.
Yamapi couldn’t believe it and tried everything to get his appointments sorted for the next days but there was no helping it, he had to attend most of it tonight. He had no clue how to tell this Tegoshi, but unfortunately there was no way around it. Yamapi felt the muscles around his chest tighten as he dialed the young singer’s number and waited anxious for him to pick up, which he did after the 4th ring.
“Hey, Pi!”
A cheerful and very familiar voice greeted him and he wished he didn’t have to call because of these matters.
“Hey…” Yamapi hesitated slightly before continuing, “Yuya, listen… “
“..yeah?” the younger boy asked slightly irritated.
“I can’t make it tonight, for dinner. I’m sorry but I’m stuck with something important at work and there is no way I can leave before midnight.”
“Oh, I see.”
Tegoshi would have lied if he had said he didn’t mind because he had been running around his kitchen for the last hour and half to prepare something eatable for tonight, but of course he knew he had no right to complain and therefore didn’t directly show how crushed he was. He was crushed mostly though because he now had to be on his own again tonight, when he was looking forward to see Yamapi.
“I’m really sorry Yuya, I didn’t mean to cancel ‘cause I..”
“Nah, it’s fine Pi.” The younger boy smiled into the phone as if Yamapi could have seen it, “I understand, so don’t worry.”
Tegoshi somehow knew that things weren’t supposed to be going this smoothly. The past weeks had been like a present sent from above. The time he could spend with Yamapi was great; no it was fantastic and more than he could have wished for. He knew that now everything had to stop being that great, because life normally didn’t go that well, did it?
“Let us re-schedule for some other night, ok?!” Yamapi threw in quickly, wishing for things to work out well. He wasn’t thrilled to miss tonight’s dinner, not at all, but he had to make the best out of it, right? Yamapi hoped that Tegoshi would understand.
“Sure.” The young boy bit his lip.
“Good. But you know I was really curious about what you were going to cook, I really want to taste it!”
Tegoshi chuckled at the thought, wondering if Yamapi would really like his cooking because yet he never actually had the chance to prepare anything for the two of them.
Tegoshi’s voice dropped slightly but he spoke as cheerful as he could, “I will cook for you some other time, promise.”
Tegoshi counted the seconds and wished for Yamapi to say something in response; anything really would have been enough, because he just didn’t want to hang up again especially since he couldn’t see him tonight like he wished he could. The young boy tugged at his dark blue shirt which hugged his body loosely, and he walked up toward his living room sofa, not sure what else to say and the fact that there was no reply whatsoever he was about to say goodbye.
After another short moment of silence his phone came back to life.
“Anyways, Yuya…” Yamapi stumbled clumsily. “I will try to get back at you as soon as possible ne, so please take some more rest!…”
“Sure… have a good day.. Yamashita-kun.”
In the end, Yamapi heard the disappointment in the other’s voice and it broke his heart. “I will send you a mail in a bit, got to go now!”
Tegoshi sighed and shoved his mobile phone into the back pocket of his pants and walked back into the kitchen to finish what he started to fix roughly an hour ago. He couldn’t believe he had to eat it by himself now.
“Don’t think things will go well at all anymore…it’s just hopeless isn’t it?.. I mean…damnit, just look at this mess you’re in! Seriously double Damnit, Yuya why did you fall for that guy…Just let go already..” the young singer started to talk to himself; cursing and sighing all the way through eating, until he was finished with his portion. He threw out the rest of the meal because he didn’t want to be reminded of tonight whenever he would actually warm it up again, he wouldn’t be able to eat just a single spoonful; it would simply hurt too much.
No matter how lonely tonight’s dinner was or how much he hated himself for wanting to talk to Yamapi, he just couldn’t let go. Not yet and probably never. Tegoshi had always looked up to Yamapi and it was almost natural for him to ‘like’ the other man simply because he naturally did. There was no helping it; he lost his heart the moment he heard the other’s name on TV. Without even seeing the boy’s face he knew there was something magical to him and when he actually listened to him speak, which wasn’t much in his early drama, Tegoshi felt something tighten around his chest and he never questioned his feelings again. He knew it was something deep and fortunately or unfortunately it never went away, this feeling he got when he heard Yamapi’s voice.
As he cleaned up the dishes, a mail reached his phone and it rang a couple times. The young singer turned around at spotted it lying on the table, where it had been abandoned a while ago. Tegoshi accidentally dropped a spoon and fork which he was about to put away, as he rushed to get his mail.
“Hey there! Did you have a good night? I’m sorry again for canceling, but I hope you will forgive me. You will, right? (^-^*) ---- I’m in the taxi now, heading toward another office. Wonder why they need me to rush there tonight! Talk to you soon, ok!? Have a good night.”
Tegoshi shook his head as he closed his phone and shoved it back into his pants, “Yeah my night was brilliant!...can’t wait to do it again…” He sighed again and bent down to pick up the dropped items off the floor. “gah; whatever..hope you have good night too…” Tegoshi’s voice dropped, barely audible and he finished the clean up before heading to bed.
A smile crept back on the boys lips when he saw his little dog waiting on his bed for him. “Hey sweetie!” he whispered.
Teeny barely opened her eyes when Tegoshi crawled under the sheets next to her, but wiggled her tail to show she was quite happy to see him.
“At least you are here to keep me company..” He mumbled before quickly falling asleep.
The following two weeks Tegoshi hardly heard from Yamapi. It felt like the past weeks before this had only been a good dream, a wonderful dream which he sadly had to wake from. It wasn’t fun at all to suddenly feel like being left alone. No phone calls and only a quick message every second day or so. He stopped counting and probably didn’t reply to some, because yes, he felt as if he suddenly wasn’t worth calling anymore…. Although, deep down he knew that he was totally over reacting and Yamapi probably had just too much to do. Like usually. Yet he couldn’t help but feel annoyed and just tried to ignore the ache in his heart each night, after a day without hearing from him.
It was probably his pride why he didn’t call Yamapi on his own accord, and why he didn’t ask what Yamapi was doing or when he’d be free to hang out. Tegoshi knew it was silly to act like a jealous school girl and he sometimes wished he wasn’t like that, but he wasn’t going to change his character now, he couldn’t.
It was Friday morning and Tegoshi just got out of bed, heading for the bathroom when his cell phone rang. It was a mail from Yamapi and even though he was still quite annoyed that the older man didn’t call at all, he didn’t waste another second to read it.
“Good Morning! Sorry I fell asleep last night… But I’m glad to hear you are feeling better! Ah, I need to hurry!! Have a good day.”
The young singer sighed. With each message he still hoped to read something like ‘can I come over?’ or ‘can we have dinner?’ but he never mentioned anything at all, which frustrated Tegoshi madly. He couldn’t feel spoiled right now, he knew it, Yamapi had done so much for him the past weeks that he was in no state to actually feel neglected.
“Get a damn grip Yuya! You are a grown man, and so is he. Get back to work yourself you idiot…” Tegoshi sighed again, he really had to get back to work or else he’d fall into a deep hole of self pity which wasn’t his style at all and he knew it. There was no need to pretend to be sick anymore; Yamapi wouldn’t just come back running, would he? He had no reason to do so and more over, he was probably working his butt off right now, when Tegoshi instead was lazing around. It’s just…everything was just so easy and cozy with the older singer caring for him that he wished it could be like this every day and night.
“I’m not a damn baby! What the fuck is wrong with me…” He shook his head, “I don’t NEED him!...No, I don’t need him.” The young singer shouted and kicked the wall. His voice dropped and he felt like sobbing instead now.
“I just… I just want to be around him…I just… want to be loved by him… but that just makes me pathetic, because it was me who sent him away…” Tegoshi wanted to bang his head against the wall he had just kicked with all his might, but Teeny’s barking caught his attention and he turned around to spot the little fur ball sitting lazily on his sofa.
A weak smile slowly made its way onto the young idol’s lips. “Well baby, let’s get you back to mom first.”
The weather people promised a warmer and sunny day and because Tegoshi really felt better, he decided to play soccer later. Soccer always had been the most exciting way to get back on track. He already made plans to play for the rest of the day until maybe even tomorrow morning. Playing until midnight had always been a lot of fun with his friends, and it was just the start of his last free weekend.
Teeny came running and watched Tegoshi pack his soccer bag. She knew that something was going on and showed how much she disliked moving out by barking around like a little nuisance.
After Tegoshi dropped her off at his mom’s place he drove down to the nearby club where he would meet his friend. Tegoshi already played with said friend a few days ago and he noticed how much he had missed kicking balls.
“One more shot and you are free for today!”
Yamapi heard the assistant say as he was getting changed for another quick, thrown in photo shooting. He sighed for the nth time today and shook his head in annoyance, “How many times did I hear that sentence the past week? It never came true…”
After another hour of standing still and looking pretty, the young singer finally finished another rough week where he hardly had time to breath, or so it felt as everyone was occupying him with things he knew he wanted to do and discuss but seriously, sometimes it was just too much to handle. Working this much also meant to neglect those things he wanted to do in his free time, and those people he wanted to see in his free time, but free time really didn’t exist sometimes.
Yamapi made his way out of the building and headed toward the busy road to catch a cab. There were times when he didn’t mind being busy at all but also times where he hated it more than anything else, and right he wished he had a normal life for once.
Jumping into a green taxi he pulled out his mobile phone and texted the person he had neglected the most recently.
“Hey there! Sorry for the late call, but are you free tomorrow night? It’s Saturday, right? You might be already having plans … but if not, I’d be happy if we could catch up on last week. Well, Oyasumi.”
After a long soccer night Tegoshi yet woke very early in the morning to find Yamapi’s message from last night blinking on the small display. He read it while brushing his teeth and even though Tegoshi felt a lot of irritation he couldn’t stop a smile forming on his lips. The thought of finally seeing Yamapi again felt like it would burst his chest, and all the anger from last week slowly crumbled to dust. He hurriedly typed back a reply mail; he didn’t even mind his wet fingers mess up the sensitive display.
“Good Morning Mr. Work-until-Late! It is Saturday, yes and I do already have plans…But you’re lucky, I’ll cancel my soccer training for you (^-~)Y ---- You just better show up this time~”
If someone asked him for advice, Tegoshi would tell them to never sound like you’d do anything for the person you like, just because. But when it came to himself and Yamapi, for some odd reason he couldn’t care less. The sudden excitement messed with his head and somehow he wanted Yamapi to know he wanted to see him, because, well you never know but maybe sometimes being honest works its wonder.
The next instant he called his friends to change schedules and instead of all afternoon he asked to play right now. It worked; they agreed and could meet up as soon as possible. Tegoshi grabbed his bags and rushed out the door as an incoming message caught his attention;-
“Good Morning back! ((^^)) -
Are you serious?
….. m(._.)m
Ah! I’m glad I will get to see you after all tonight!”
A smile crept on the young boy’s lips, ‘Well, I’m not gonna cancel after all, but let’s just let you think I did…’ Tegoshi somehow did like the thought of the other feeling rather grateful for him to cancel his plans just to see him. Tegoshi had no intention of ruining that little magic.
“7 pm, I’ll cook. How does it sound?”
The young singer typed back excited like a school girl on Valentine’s Day, or so he assumed. Tegoshi ran down the hallway and toward a parking taxi.
Yamapi’s reply came fast, “Sounds P.E.R.F.E.C.T!!! Can’t wait.” Tegoshi was sure the stupid smile wouldn’t leave his lips the entire day, but for some odd reason he didn’t mind.
After his training Tegoshi went to that small grocery shop down the street and bought a lot of vegetables and drinks for tonight. He decided on cooking the only dish he could prepare in his sleep; spicy Indian curry. He didn’t remember where he had picked up that certain recipe, probably one night when he was channel surfing and stranded on one of those countless cooking shows.
Sometimes he watched those because it was quite easy to fall asleep, and sometimes he even picked up a little, but only sometimes.
Anyways, he loved this Indian curry and was sure Yamapi would fall for it as well.
Tonight Tegoshi wasn’t tied to his kitchen for all too long and when the curry was almost done he decided to watch his sports channel to pick up on the latest happenings. Since his preparations went so smoothly, everything seemed to be done quite early and he had some time to spare before Yamapi would show up.
He hopped onto his sofa and pulled a brown fluffy blanket over his knees as he switched on the TV. The young singer suddenly felt very sleepy and tried hard not to close his eyes, but eventually he did and within seconds he passed out.
A text message reached his phone and he slightly freaked at the sudden sound and hammering vibrations against the table.
“Yuya! I’m sorry but something came up and I won’t make it tonight…”
“Not again…” Tegoshi sighed and dropped back onto his sofa and pulled the blanket back over his head. He knew he couldn’t be angry at the other for canceling, again, yet he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Not to mention he had to eat everything by himself, again.
Things were just not going smooth at all and he feared that he really had to give up on hoping they could get together again.
After what seemed like hours of deep sleep Tegoshi woke at the incredible annoying sound of someone hammering against his door. Tegoshi lazily pulled down the heavy blanked and rubbed his eyes. The hammering didn’t stop and forced him get up.
The young boy felt somehow horrible; his legs hurt and his lower back ached with every move. He could have sworn he woke up a long time ago already, and wasn’t he just reading Yamapi’s text message?
Tegoshi opened the door and his jaw dropped when he saw the older singer stand right in front of him.
This felt quite messed up.
“Hey there.” Yamapi smiled, “Finally! There was no response for too long that I started to worry….”
“Yamashita-kun? How come?” Tegoshi’s eyes widened in surprise, “I thought you couldn’t make it?” he asked confused.
The older man responded with a surprised look and a high pitched, “Huh?” while Tegoshi opened the door and let him inside.
“Are you sure? I totally planned to be here tonight as I said I would…” Yamapi took off his coat and threw it over a chair. He tried to remember if he had sent Tegoshi a wrong text earlier as he canceled some other invitation, but he was sure he didn’t.
Tegoshi shrugged, “Didn’t you send me a mail? I could swear you did. Wait let me check.” Yamapi followed the younger curiously and dropped onto the sofa while Tegoshi looked through his mails.
“Nothing.” He whispered in surprise.
“Did you sleep?” the older man poked Tegoshi’s cheek, “You look a bit messed up you know.”
“Oh shush! ~” Tegoshi hissed, which earned him some giggles.
“Don’t tell me you had a bad dream, about me canceling tonight’s dinner.” Yamapi joked, not knowing how right he was with that. Tegoshi rolled his eyes, “Yeah right.”
“I bet you did..” the older man giggled even more now, “that’s quite sweet you know.”
Tegoshi offered the other a chair and whispered to himself, “Oh god maybe I really did dream…”
It took them another few minutes before they could enjoy tonight’s dinner as Tegoshi fixed his dish.
Yamapi watched the boy closely and with a smile on his lips as he was served a delicious looking curry and a glass of white wine.
As they both finally gathered around the table there was exciting music playing in the living from and watching Tegoshi’s proud face made Yamapi smiled even more, “This looks pretty amazing Yuya! Don’t tell me you did this all by yourself!”
The young boy rolled his eyes slightly embarrassed, “Of course I did, what kind of person would I be, if I’d offer you something someone else prepared and tell you it’s my treat?”
Yamapi grinned, “Can’t wait to taste it..” And he didn’t wait much longer before digging in, and seriously loving each bite of it. The older singer kept on telling the other how much he loved it, over and over that it started to be slightly annoying. Nevertheless Tegoshi felt happy about every single word coming from the others lips tonight, he couldn’t have wished for a better dinner.
They remained seated over their empty plates and wine glasses for another couple of hours chatting and listening to the background music. Yamapi kept telling stories from work and what he heard on the news recently. Tegoshi listened carefully and interested, stealing glances at Yamapi whenever the other wouldn’t look. They enjoyed each other’s company and didn’t want to get up at all but eventually they did once they realized it was getting pretty late.
Yamapi joined Tegoshi by the sink, “Wait, I’ll help you with the dishes.” He offered with a smile but Tegoshi only shook his head and replied in a low voice, “No need to. I’m too lazy to do anything right now, just leave it for tomorrow.”
The other was quite surprised at Tegoshi’s response but didn’t refuse when he asked to watch a little TV before calling it a night. Tegoshi asked Yamapi to go ahead while he would make coffee.
Moments later Tegoshi followed Yamapi with two cups of coffee and crawled onto the sofa next to him. He didn’t think twice about filling the spot right next to the older singer and shamelessly dropped his head against his shoulder. The young boy drew in his legs and pulled a fluffy brown blanket over Yamapi and him. Sipping on their hot beverage they searched for something interesting to watch and ended up putting in some random concert DVD Tegoshi once had bought but neither of them watched until now.
Quickly both found their most comfortable spots, Tegoshi stayed cuddled up against the older singer. With his arm around Yamapi’s stomach he felt like stopping time, he wanted to always stay as comfortable as right now.
Roughly 30 minutes later Yamapi fought against his tiredness and tried to focus on the songs, but he was so comfortable that he wished to doze off. Tegoshi next to him was everything he could think of anyways, because it was all he wanted to see hear and feel right. Not just right now, but always.
The concert wasn’t bad but it wasn’t that great either. A few songs later and Yamapi’s thoughts still kept spinning around the younger boy hugging him so sweetly that he closed his eyes for a few minutes and just relaxed.
Suddenly he threw his eyes open and caught his breath when out of the blue he felt Tegoshi’s delicate hand almost feline like move around his stomach and up his chest until it came to a sudden halt around his neck. A surprise, yes and it tickled slightly, yet felt simply good, too good that Yamapi didn’t dare to turn around.
Tegoshi’s hand didn’t move any further but Yamapi thought the rest of his body did. The older man felt the sofa move slightly and a second later he was sure the boy’s breath just tickled against his skin. As he was about to say something Yamapi noticed how suddenly the other’s breath was gone and replaced by the slightly wet, incredibly soft and warm feeling of Tegoshi’s lips.
Even if there were to be a million of people here right now and the chance of the person kissing him was Tegoshi would be less than 1%, Yamapi would be a 100% sure that it had to be Tegoshi. He would recognize those sweetest of lips anywhere and anytime. Of course it had to be Tegoshi though just now, because he was the only person in reach.
And as his thoughts went flying around the globe he was brought back to reality when those said lips never left his neck and instead pressed softly against his skin, and again and again. They kissed him over and over, slowly and tenderly reaching his ear. Yamapi couldn’t move or speak, and he feared if he’d look at Tegoshi right now, he would find that everything wasn’t how he thought….
But he couldn’t imagine things like this could he?
Could he imagine Tegoshi’s soft lips pressing against his neck? Kissing him? Even for him it sounded rather ridiculous to have such vivid imagination. Or so he hoped.
The moment he wanted to find out what was really going on, the younger’s voice reached his ears. Whispering the sweetest and most carefully spoken words he had ever imagined to leave Tegoshi’s lips.
“I love you.”
“You what?..” Yamapi’s eyes widened in shock and he finally moved to look at the other, “Do you have a fever again?” he asked serious, yet it must have sounded rather mockingly. Yamapi couldn’t understand what happened and less could he believe what he had just heard Tegoshi say.
The younger boy tightened his hold on Yamapi’s shoulder and his hand began to shiver slightly. He shook his head slowly and repeated carefully, “I. Love. You.”
They stared at each other in silent before Tegoshi inched forward to slowly but surely close the space between them. A million of questions raced through Yamapi’s mind as he looked down into a pair of deep brown eyes. Overwhelmed and clueless he let the younger pull him down and lead them into a promising sweet kiss. With each second Tegoshi’s breath grew hotter on his skin, and Yamapi instinctively closed his eyes at the soft touch of the other’s lips as they brushed against his ever so carefully. He moved his hands almost naturally around Tegoshi’s waist and pulled his lithe body gently against his, holding the younger boy protectively in his arms as lips caressed lips slow-paced and sensually, savoring the long missed taste and feeling of each other. Tegoshi too locked his arms around Yamapi’s neck in a habitual manner, basking in the sensation of delight and pleasurable emotion.
As they slowly stopped their actions and moved aback, Yamapi stared at the younger singer with hopeful eyes, asking silently for an explanation. Tegoshi cracked a shy smile and whispered, “I love you, Yamashita Tomohisa. Please let me be yours again.”
“What…” Yamapi knew he heard right, and he was sure that Tegoshi wasn’t drunk or anything, yet he had never expected something like this to happen. Wished yes, but never expected.
“What are you saying Yuya?” he whispered, sounding slightly frightened. He should be grateful to fate or whatever it was that brought them here, yes and he shouldn’t question Tegoshi because he knew how true his heart was… but maybe he was afraid of ‘touching the pure’ because it could just crumble away like the first time.
“What? I’m saying I fuckin’ love you and that I miss you and that for god’s sake I can’t live without you anymore!”
A tear escaped Tegoshi’s eye and rolled down his cheek. Yamapi felt his heart stop at the pain in the younger’s visibly hurt expression. “I’m sorry.” Was all he could say before Tegoshi threw himself around his shoulders and buried his face in his neck.
“Don’t say sorry…you are an idiot Yamashita! Do you know that?.. Don’t tell me I should get away…Don’t you dare to reject me…not now, do you hear me… I know I deserve it but just don’t reject me… “ Tegoshi started whining and shouting against Yamapi’s shoulder, his tears wetting the other’s shirt.
When there was no response from the older man whatsoever Tegoshi lifted himself up and pushed his body away, far enough to look at Yamapi but still close enough to feel the other’s heartbeat echo in his mind, “You know, I hate you as much as I love you. You are the worst and the most incredible at the same time.. don’t ever say you’re sorry again..”
“Wait, no!” Yamapi finally came to his senses and acted, it wasn’t his intention to ever hurt his Yuya. “I’m really sorry Yuya!... I didn’t mean to scare or upset you.” Yamapi whispered, and took Tegoshi’s hands in his. “I’m sorry, because I love you too… Can you imagine how you just surprised me?…you know…I don’t blame you for hating me, I gave you enough reasons and if you actually would forgive me for being such an idiot… it would be more than I could have ever wished for..of course I always wished to have you back in my arms, countless times,… so-“ Tegoshi couldn’t stand it any longer and interrupted Yamapi in his speech. The younger boy threw his arms around his leader once more and pulled him down to press his lips against his for another long-lasting kiss.
When eventually they separated unwillingly, Tegoshi locked his fingers around the hem of Yamapi’s shirt and fisted it firmly. With eyes maintaining close contact Tegoshi pouted and Yamapi whispered, “Anything plain can be lovely. And something imperfect can be beautiful.”His words melted Tegoshi`s heart with every letter that left Yamapi’s lips, ever so sweetly.
He wasn’t sure what exactly these words would mean but he knew by the look on Yamapi’s face it can only have positive surprises left for them and their future relationship.
Thank you for reading.