The Way Out is Through
So I'm typing in here because I can't go to sleep. I'm a little twitchy from all the caffeine and WoW that I've consumed throughout my day off.
Livejournal has always been a place for me to complain about shit, and at the same time really work out some of the problems that are undefined but floating around in my head. By the time I was done with an entry, I had a more concrete idea of what I was thinking about and I think that feeling served me well.
What to do with my life? I'm coming to the end of the beginning of my "youth" and I'm realizing that a lot of the bad habits that I've accumulated throughout the years are hard hard hard to shake. What will become of me? I'm not quite so idealistic as I used to be but I think that is actually a good thing. Wanting to do great things and excel at everything constantly is a wonderful and noble goal, but its very hard to implement and stability is more valuable to me at this point. All the confusion needs to buzz off so I can do what I like.
But I just wish that what I liked was productive. Seeking constant entertainment and comfort in my free time leads to neither entertainment or comfort in the long run. A stale feeling comes along and starts breeding underneath the security blanket, like bugs in an unclean place with too much food. A feeling of having to do something more and productive creeps along soon enough. Shaking off all the bad habits accumulated from being "comfortable" and "entertained" is hard work, although it is usually an enlightening and optimistic process for me.
If only the things I went to when in need for this comfort were productive. At least theyre not as destructive as they used to be.
Maybe I need to realize that life sucks and the productivity will roll. Don't know, too many though tangents. I'm tired now though.
Livejournal has always been a place for me to complain about shit, and at the same time really work out some of the problems that are undefined but floating around in my head. By the time I was done with an entry, I had a more concrete idea of what I was thinking about and I think that feeling served me well.
What to do with my life? I'm coming to the end of the beginning of my "youth" and I'm realizing that a lot of the bad habits that I've accumulated throughout the years are hard hard hard to shake. What will become of me? I'm not quite so idealistic as I used to be but I think that is actually a good thing. Wanting to do great things and excel at everything constantly is a wonderful and noble goal, but its very hard to implement and stability is more valuable to me at this point. All the confusion needs to buzz off so I can do what I like.
But I just wish that what I liked was productive. Seeking constant entertainment and comfort in my free time leads to neither entertainment or comfort in the long run. A stale feeling comes along and starts breeding underneath the security blanket, like bugs in an unclean place with too much food. A feeling of having to do something more and productive creeps along soon enough. Shaking off all the bad habits accumulated from being "comfortable" and "entertained" is hard work, although it is usually an enlightening and optimistic process for me.
If only the things I went to when in need for this comfort were productive. At least theyre not as destructive as they used to be.
Maybe I need to realize that life sucks and the productivity will roll. Don't know, too many though tangents. I'm tired now though.