melt the daggers and use your fists
if theres one thing that i figured out tonight, its that i care deeply about what others are feeling. i dont think ive ever felt anything to be so true... its overshadowed sometimes. im so focused on not making myself feel bad about things, that my thoughts and feelings entwine in a way that suffocates me. this new feeling, this combination of the two is nothing like the two stems. i dont want to hurt people anymore. i dont know, i look at things in such a skewed way that when i see one thing that really makes sense to me, i think i have it all figured out. this could be bullshit, but i know that thinking about things and just believing that something can change makes me feel better.
almost all i think about is being comfortable around people once and for all. like theres some magical cure that i can think up that will make all my anxiety go away.
i went for a walk on the golf course this evening. i know i have to learn how to stand up for myself, but i dont want to hurt people, or have people abandon me because of it. people dont have the same kind of anxiety problems that i do. the sooner i realize this, the better things will be, for me and for everyone around me.
nothing is fixed. i really hope this isnt a beginning that turns into another dead end.
almost all i think about is being comfortable around people once and for all. like theres some magical cure that i can think up that will make all my anxiety go away.
i went for a walk on the golf course this evening. i know i have to learn how to stand up for myself, but i dont want to hurt people, or have people abandon me because of it. people dont have the same kind of anxiety problems that i do. the sooner i realize this, the better things will be, for me and for everyone around me.
nothing is fixed. i really hope this isnt a beginning that turns into another dead end.