Rant: Jealousy + Manipulation = Love?!
It's a bit of a disturbing trend I'm noticing in anime lately. To start, I'm not a raging feminist or anything, but it's subtle. And I'm taking note of it while feeling rather displeased. On the flip side, lots of people seem to not.
For those of you who have also read the Twilight series, you'll probably also be able to relate or at least know what I'm talking about.
And that is, somehow, people think that when a male character displays his "love" for a female character, it's romantic of him to be jealous and possessive of said female character.
To start, I've been watching Kaichou wa Maid-sama! (English translation: The President is a Maid!). It features a tsundere female lead named Misaki, who is tough, smart, and is the first female school council president of a formerly-boys-only high school. Alas, she hates men due to her father leaving his ill wife and two children with a staggering debt, and to help pay off said debt, Misaki works at a maid cafe. The guy Misaki hates the most is Usui, who also happens to be the most popular boy in school but has eyes only for the school council president.
At first, Usui shows his desire for Misaki by practically stalking Misaki, usually while she's at work. Well, all right, he likes her and wants to interact with her, despite the fact that she can't stand the sight of him. Then he begins helping her out, all the way to downright saving her when she's about to get raped. Well, ok, that's kinda nice of him, even though Misaki is perfectly capable of handling herself.
But in the last couple of episodes, he's become downright controlling due to his jealousy. Misaki and her co-workers are invited by her manager's sister to stay at her new beach house, which isn't doing too well to attract customers. In order to attract people, the manager decides to have a beach-version of the maid cafe, so all the "maids" dress up in bikinis and maid aprons to serve customers cold drinks and desserts.
Misaki is hesitant at first to wear a bikini, but for the sake of helping out her manager's sister, she decides to join in. Usui, not wanting other guys to stare at her, suddenly kisses her on her lower back to give her a hickey, knowing that Misaki would never allow anyone to see it, forcing her to cover up (which she does). Then, later, the manager acquires complementary tickets for all to go to a hot spring resort nearby. Misaki, being poor, is excited at the rare opportunity, but remembering the hickey mark, decides to not go and gets noticeably depressed about it. Usui does not apologize.
In the next episode, Misaki participates in a pairs beach volleyball contest to help out a good friend, who needs to win in order to be allowed to crossdress (it was a bet he made with his aunt). The (female) winner of the contest will be crowned "princess" of the beach with photos and everything. Usui forms an opposing team and, using his superior skill (because he's "perfect"), he obliterates Misaki's team without hesitation (and therefore crushing her hopes of helping her friend). His reason for it? He didn't want pictures of Misaki to be spread around to other guys.
In the MyAnimeList forums, there were people who adamantly argue that what Usui is doing is natural and even romantic. LIKE WHAT?! THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOUR. In the real world, this would actually be very scary behaviour. I would never allow someone to treat me or any of my friends in this way. It is possessive and controlling. It is NOT romantic. Loving someone should mean wanting them to be happy, even if it means you being a little less happy.
And it's not just in Maid-sama! either. I've noticed it even in a series like Durarara!!, where Shinra deliberately manipulated the situation so that Celty would not leave him, even if it meant giving up her centuries-long goal. And when she forgave him for it, people loved it and thought it very romantic. I thought that it was actually disturbing. If I had a goal I really wanted to achieve and a supposed loved one wanted to keep me from it for their own purposes, I'd be furious!
And like I said earlier, it's in Western stories, too, such as in Twilight and people eagerly lap it all up without questioning what they see. I am more than a little dismayed how blind people are! No wonder people allow themselves to be a part of abusive relationships! They can't even recognize it as an outside viewer. People need to think a bit more critically and learn the difference between crazy, scary, possessive behaviour and romantic actions.
Just my two cents. Can anyone else find other examples?
For those of you who have also read the Twilight series, you'll probably also be able to relate or at least know what I'm talking about.
And that is, somehow, people think that when a male character displays his "love" for a female character, it's romantic of him to be jealous and possessive of said female character.
To start, I've been watching Kaichou wa Maid-sama! (English translation: The President is a Maid!). It features a tsundere female lead named Misaki, who is tough, smart, and is the first female school council president of a formerly-boys-only high school. Alas, she hates men due to her father leaving his ill wife and two children with a staggering debt, and to help pay off said debt, Misaki works at a maid cafe. The guy Misaki hates the most is Usui, who also happens to be the most popular boy in school but has eyes only for the school council president.
At first, Usui shows his desire for Misaki by practically stalking Misaki, usually while she's at work. Well, all right, he likes her and wants to interact with her, despite the fact that she can't stand the sight of him. Then he begins helping her out, all the way to downright saving her when she's about to get raped. Well, ok, that's kinda nice of him, even though Misaki is perfectly capable of handling herself.
But in the last couple of episodes, he's become downright controlling due to his jealousy. Misaki and her co-workers are invited by her manager's sister to stay at her new beach house, which isn't doing too well to attract customers. In order to attract people, the manager decides to have a beach-version of the maid cafe, so all the "maids" dress up in bikinis and maid aprons to serve customers cold drinks and desserts.
Misaki is hesitant at first to wear a bikini, but for the sake of helping out her manager's sister, she decides to join in. Usui, not wanting other guys to stare at her, suddenly kisses her on her lower back to give her a hickey, knowing that Misaki would never allow anyone to see it, forcing her to cover up (which she does). Then, later, the manager acquires complementary tickets for all to go to a hot spring resort nearby. Misaki, being poor, is excited at the rare opportunity, but remembering the hickey mark, decides to not go and gets noticeably depressed about it. Usui does not apologize.
In the next episode, Misaki participates in a pairs beach volleyball contest to help out a good friend, who needs to win in order to be allowed to crossdress (it was a bet he made with his aunt). The (female) winner of the contest will be crowned "princess" of the beach with photos and everything. Usui forms an opposing team and, using his superior skill (because he's "perfect"), he obliterates Misaki's team without hesitation (and therefore crushing her hopes of helping her friend). His reason for it? He didn't want pictures of Misaki to be spread around to other guys.
In the MyAnimeList forums, there were people who adamantly argue that what Usui is doing is natural and even romantic. LIKE WHAT?! THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOUR. In the real world, this would actually be very scary behaviour. I would never allow someone to treat me or any of my friends in this way. It is possessive and controlling. It is NOT romantic. Loving someone should mean wanting them to be happy, even if it means you being a little less happy.
And it's not just in Maid-sama! either. I've noticed it even in a series like Durarara!!, where Shinra deliberately manipulated the situation so that Celty would not leave him, even if it meant giving up her centuries-long goal. And when she forgave him for it, people loved it and thought it very romantic. I thought that it was actually disturbing. If I had a goal I really wanted to achieve and a supposed loved one wanted to keep me from it for their own purposes, I'd be furious!
And like I said earlier, it's in Western stories, too, such as in Twilight and people eagerly lap it all up without questioning what they see. I am more than a little dismayed how blind people are! No wonder people allow themselves to be a part of abusive relationships! They can't even recognize it as an outside viewer. People need to think a bit more critically and learn the difference between crazy, scary, possessive behaviour and romantic actions.
Just my two cents. Can anyone else find other examples?