My True Wish
Title: My True Wish
Author: yamachiiislove
Rating: G
Genre: Angst, Drama
Pairing: Yamada x Chinen
Summary: Chinen's letter to someone whom he loved all his life.
I wish...
I wish you could hear my true wish. The wish that I would often chant every night before I shut my eyes, the wish that I would always murmur to myself every shooting star that passes by; the wish that I would often take the time to say it to myself every time the clock strikes 11:11 in the evening. Bearing the hope that somehow, it would be granted.
I wish I’m the...
I wish I’m the reason for your laughter and tears. I wish I’m the one that will show you happiness, true happiness. I wish I’m the one that you would exchange mawkish lines with. I wish I’m the one you would spend your Friday nights with. I wish I’m the one you would hug with those strong arms of yours whenever I have bad days. I wish I’m the one... the one you’d grow old with. I wish I’m the one you would be talking with when you’re old, sitting together by the porch reminiscing together our young days.
But, that’s not my true wish.
It would hilarious if my wish would come true. It’s like saying that I could still surpass your height.
Funny, isn’t it? Yeah, I can’t quite remember the first time I felt like this towards you. At first I was trying to stop these feelings, because I know... I know that in the end it will hurt, but the opposite happened, every time I try to deny my feelings, they would just grow and grow and it hurts that I can’t do something about it. I wanted to tell you how much I love you, but I don’t want to risk our friendship. Our friendship is all that I have, it’s thing that would keep me close to you. There’s a reason for everything... I believe. Maybe there’s a reason why God didn’t make me end up with you, or why you didn’t end up with me. Maybe you guys are just the right one for each other. Maybe, just maybe... there’s someone waiting for me. Someone greater, more handsome, kinder, more attractive than you... who am I kidding? ... There can be no one like you.
Let me tell you my true wish...
Remember how every time you have someone you like, and you would rush to me and tell me all about it?
Remember how I would always listen to you praising that particular someone?
Remember that night when you told me that the both of you were together?
Remember those nights when you’ll come by my house every time the both of you would have small fights?
Remember how I would just sit there and listen to you... listen to you praising her, telling how much you love her, or tell me that you would do anything for her... I’m sure you remember those times. Nostalgic isn’t it?
Did you remember looking at me during those times? Did you see how much tears were welling up my eyes? I wanted to cry but I can’t... not in front of you.
Did you notice my eyes were always red and swollen the next day?
My wish...
For this particular day, I wish both of you the best. I hope that it goes smoothly. I’m sorry that I can’t attend today’s celebration. I can’t bear to see the person whom I loved all my life, be married to someone... its better off like this.
But that’s not my true wish...
My true wish is...
I wish I was her.
Thank you for letting me love you all these years, Yamada Ryosuke.
Sincerely yours,
Chinen Yur
i
A/N: Thanks for reading!
Author: yamachiiislove
Rating: G
Genre: Angst, Drama
Pairing: Yamada x Chinen
Summary: Chinen's letter to someone whom he loved all his life.
I wish...
I wish you could hear my true wish. The wish that I would often chant every night before I shut my eyes, the wish that I would always murmur to myself every shooting star that passes by; the wish that I would often take the time to say it to myself every time the clock strikes 11:11 in the evening. Bearing the hope that somehow, it would be granted.
I wish I’m the...
I wish I’m the reason for your laughter and tears. I wish I’m the one that will show you happiness, true happiness. I wish I’m the one that you would exchange mawkish lines with. I wish I’m the one you would spend your Friday nights with. I wish I’m the one you would hug with those strong arms of yours whenever I have bad days. I wish I’m the one... the one you’d grow old with. I wish I’m the one you would be talking with when you’re old, sitting together by the porch reminiscing together our young days.
But, that’s not my true wish.
It would hilarious if my wish would come true. It’s like saying that I could still surpass your height.
Funny, isn’t it? Yeah, I can’t quite remember the first time I felt like this towards you. At first I was trying to stop these feelings, because I know... I know that in the end it will hurt, but the opposite happened, every time I try to deny my feelings, they would just grow and grow and it hurts that I can’t do something about it. I wanted to tell you how much I love you, but I don’t want to risk our friendship. Our friendship is all that I have, it’s thing that would keep me close to you. There’s a reason for everything... I believe. Maybe there’s a reason why God didn’t make me end up with you, or why you didn’t end up with me. Maybe you guys are just the right one for each other. Maybe, just maybe... there’s someone waiting for me. Someone greater, more handsome, kinder, more attractive than you... who am I kidding? ... There can be no one like you.
Let me tell you my true wish...
Remember how every time you have someone you like, and you would rush to me and tell me all about it?
Remember how I would always listen to you praising that particular someone?
Remember that night when you told me that the both of you were together?
Remember those nights when you’ll come by my house every time the both of you would have small fights?
Remember how I would just sit there and listen to you... listen to you praising her, telling how much you love her, or tell me that you would do anything for her... I’m sure you remember those times. Nostalgic isn’t it?
Did you remember looking at me during those times? Did you see how much tears were welling up my eyes? I wanted to cry but I can’t... not in front of you.
Did you notice my eyes were always red and swollen the next day?
My wish...
For this particular day, I wish both of you the best. I hope that it goes smoothly. I’m sorry that I can’t attend today’s celebration. I can’t bear to see the person whom I loved all my life, be married to someone... its better off like this.
But that’s not my true wish...
My true wish is...
I wish I was her.
Thank you for letting me love you all these years, Yamada Ryosuke.
Sincerely yours,
Chinen Yur
i
A/N: Thanks for reading!