Here's hoping...
I'm hoping my mood yesterday was in large part due to being tired when I wrote it.
Minds are never at their sharpest when they're tired.
Things made more sense yesterday after I napped some. Some things are still apropos, but it doesn't seem nearly as doom-and-gloom as I was feeling yesterday morning.
I've been spending some time on a personal project. This particular project rates high on the "fun" scale, so things are good.
I think part of my problem is that I've been lax spiritually. I've sort of left that side of me to lie dormant as I didn't want it to get in the way while I was dating. I never really thought that would be a good long-term solution, though. Without the movement, it appears the waters of my soul have been stagnating.
The problem there is, well, my spiritual path can be a bit lonely. All too often, I can find myself around a group of neopagans and I try talking to them about things... 90% of the time, they explicitly state something along the lines of "Old Ways", the other 10% they're "eclectic" and picking and choosing from the available religious breakfast bar.
Me? I'm much more interested in active exploration of the future, than any sort of research in to the past. I operate, in part, with a grab-bag of theories none of which are the norm, none of which are canon even to me.
Some of my theories are backed up with enough experience that they seem to fit a lot better than some of the alternatives. There's always the possibility of some new piece of information cropping up and causing a ruckus, though.
You have to realize, as a self-identified Christian, having had the full "born-again" experience, through exploration of my faith I somehow warped my perspective of Christianity to the point I was a Universalist without either previous exposure to Universalism, nor even fully recognizing the fundamentally heretical nature of where I was going with my beliefs until it was too late. That was just for starters, the consequences of that led me in directions which were not only heresy for Christians, but at times seem to be heresy for many neopagans as well.
It wouldn't have been so bad had I stopped earlier. However, as a person of faith, things change within you over time. Good, sound ideas which you acknowledge and accept take root in your soul and permeate your very being.
Minds are never at their sharpest when they're tired.
Things made more sense yesterday after I napped some. Some things are still apropos, but it doesn't seem nearly as doom-and-gloom as I was feeling yesterday morning.
I've been spending some time on a personal project. This particular project rates high on the "fun" scale, so things are good.
I think part of my problem is that I've been lax spiritually. I've sort of left that side of me to lie dormant as I didn't want it to get in the way while I was dating. I never really thought that would be a good long-term solution, though. Without the movement, it appears the waters of my soul have been stagnating.
The problem there is, well, my spiritual path can be a bit lonely. All too often, I can find myself around a group of neopagans and I try talking to them about things... 90% of the time, they explicitly state something along the lines of "Old Ways", the other 10% they're "eclectic" and picking and choosing from the available religious breakfast bar.
Me? I'm much more interested in active exploration of the future, than any sort of research in to the past. I operate, in part, with a grab-bag of theories none of which are the norm, none of which are canon even to me.
Some of my theories are backed up with enough experience that they seem to fit a lot better than some of the alternatives. There's always the possibility of some new piece of information cropping up and causing a ruckus, though.
You have to realize, as a self-identified Christian, having had the full "born-again" experience, through exploration of my faith I somehow warped my perspective of Christianity to the point I was a Universalist without either previous exposure to Universalism, nor even fully recognizing the fundamentally heretical nature of where I was going with my beliefs until it was too late. That was just for starters, the consequences of that led me in directions which were not only heresy for Christians, but at times seem to be heresy for many neopagans as well.
It wouldn't have been so bad had I stopped earlier. However, as a person of faith, things change within you over time. Good, sound ideas which you acknowledge and accept take root in your soul and permeate your very being.