God Is Punishing Me!!!!
Well what's up. Yes I know it's been forever and a day, but not much has been happening until now. My life sux and I know if i write about I might feel better. This whole school year so far has been centered around golf. GOLF GOLF GOLF!!!!! I haven't had much time for friends or anything like that cuz I've been really concentrating hard on my game since I know this years team is good and I have to have my A game all the time. Well last semester was great cuz i was playing decent enough to go to all the tournaments, but NO not this semester. First off I had to qualify for the tournament to Arizona. I felt good about making it cuz during winter break I was practicing none stop and I was playing good. So I believed I had a good chance at going. Boy was I ever wrong. First day of qualifying I was in 4th place cuz our coach was only going to take 2 more girls. I had 6 strokes to catch back up. I played so awful too it was sickening. The next 2 qualifying rounds I played like shit again. So now it's the last day of qualifying and I'm behind by 4 shots to make it. I played decent that day but one of the girls played extremely well and she and this other girl got to go. I felt ok about it cuz since i played like shit i didn't deserve to go. So now this is the first tourney i miss since last year when i missed the very first one. So four of us are staying behind. Then just 4 days before they are to leave, one of the girls who qualified (the one who shot really well the last day) has pains in her rib and she finds out she has something wrong w/ her cartilage in the area. So now she's injured and coach then picks Young (the next person in line to go) I was a little unhappy cuz since the end of qualifying we still had to play and each time I beated her too, so I felt I had a chance to go, but I was alright w/ it. So on Saturday night the team left to go to Tucson and me, 2 other girls and the injured one stay behind. Also the next tournament is right after the AZ tournament so coach told us that if someone doesn't play well in the tournament, she might switch the line up and pick someone else to take the place. So recently this Monday, me and the two other girls still played and get score to show our coach how we were doing. I didn't play very well how ever. Also this was the first day of the tournament and our team didn't do well either. Young also didn't play well and I was thinking, hmm if she doesn't do good maybe coach might let me play in the next tourney. So i began to pray that she play bad. (I know bad me I still feel horrible, but I want to go to the San Jose tourney) On Wed, me and the other two play again and I played really well. I had a feeling that I might get picked, but I tried not to get my hopes up. Also the injured one finally comes out to play w/ us too cuz she was feeling better. Her rib didn't hurt as much and also during the weekend she had a bad cold and didn't practice much. She didn't play well at all the on Wed. w/ us. And Young didn't play well in the tourney either and so did this other girl. So today comes and I'm thinking well Young and the other girl didn't play well, and the injured one hasn't practiced much, maybe I'll get to go, cuz I've been playing well and practiced really hard too. One of my other teammates (one of them who went to the tourney) also thought that coach might pick me to go too. So this afternoon I get a call from my coach and she left a voicemail for me to call her cuz she wanted to know how I've been and to discuss the tournament. I started thinking, how if she called maybe she's going to pick me. So I call her back. Turns out that since Young didn't play well, someone was going to take her spot. But since the injured one is fine, she is going to give her the spot. I felt so crushed cuz she didn't play well w/ me and she hadn't practice much. Mainly since she was the original one to go, coach gave the spot to her. I almost wanted to cry, but I had to stop myself. Then she mentions the other who didn't play well. My coach tells me that she's going to let her play as well cuz she didn't want to change the lineup. Now I feel like shit. I tell my coach i understand and all that, and she tells me to not give up and that there's still 2 more tournaments. We hung up and now I'm just balling my eyes out. Maybe since I prayed for someone in the tournament to play bad, God is punishing me. I guess what goes around comes around. But I still feel like shit. I've been playing so much better and still nothing. I really don't want to cry and tell myself it's the best thing , but it's hard. I guess I'll just have to wait for the Texas tournament. Crying is giving me a headache so I need to take headache medicine. Bye!