I Love You. <3
So.
I was thinking.
And Idecided that this whole, "love" thing is overrated.
I mean, sure, you need it.
You need to feel it, or you'll feel empty.
It doesn't matter who or what you feel it towards, but you need it.
Otherwise, you'll feel incomplete.
I guess I've been feeling incomplete for awhile, then.
I'm not saying I'm, "in love," because I don't necesarrily believe in that.
But I'm saying that I just haven't felt it in so long.
It's crazy.
It drives me crazy.
Everybody knows that they feel love.
They can go on and lie about it, but they do feel it.
I can feel it, even now.
But I'm trying to remember towards what I feel it.
If you're after someone so bad, but they don't feel the same, that's not love.
It's just there.
Maybe I'm lonely.
Maybe I'm not.
But I'm so tired of feeling this empty.
I know something's missing.
And I want to fill it so bad that it's INSANE.
I.. hmm..
I don't hate love.
I mean, it's wonderful when you're IN love.
Meaning you love them, they love you.
But I hate LOVERS.
Their pictures of holding hands, hugging, kissing.
Their display of that.
I hope I'm not the only that feels this way.
But It just gets to be too much.
And I think, "Why can't I have that? What have I fucked up?"
I know I have a better personality then some people.
And better "looks."
(And yes, looks do matter in relationships no matter how much the stupid fuck lies and says they don't.)
And I'll be so asphyxiated on someone with the worst girlfriend, but they won't notice me.
I don't understand it.
But yeah..
I hate lovers.
"But I believe that lovers should be tied together and
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
Left there to drown in their innocence
....
We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together
And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
And left there to burn
Left there to burn in their arrogance"
But then again..
If I happen to be in a relationship of the same sort,
I'd do the same.
Yes, it's hypocritical, but if I were frequently in relationships, then maybe I'd had another viewpoint.
"Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And layed entwined together on a bed of clover
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness"
I love love.
But once it's over, it's bad.
Being left is bad.
And really upsetting.
"But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover
And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer
But autumn came, She disappeared
You can't remember where she said she was going to
But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song
That you don't want to sing"
But being alone right now isn't getting me anywhere.
And that too, is upsetting.
"Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing mattered
All would be clear then
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
You are here then you're gone
....
But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter
I read all of the pages and there is still no answer
Only all that was before I know must soon come after
That is the only way it can be
So I stand in the sun
And I breathe with my lungs
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror
And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
And now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water
Wishing you were a ghost"
And due to that, I've tried to change myself for so long.
Just to be wanted.
What's wrong with me..
I won't fix those changes because they aren't necesarrily bad.
But still.
"But as for me I'm coming to my final failure
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be"
Maybe it's not so bad.
And maybe I'd be better off falling in love with myself.
-.-
<3
I was thinking.
And Idecided that this whole, "love" thing is overrated.
I mean, sure, you need it.
You need to feel it, or you'll feel empty.
It doesn't matter who or what you feel it towards, but you need it.
Otherwise, you'll feel incomplete.
I guess I've been feeling incomplete for awhile, then.
I'm not saying I'm, "in love," because I don't necesarrily believe in that.
But I'm saying that I just haven't felt it in so long.
It's crazy.
It drives me crazy.
Everybody knows that they feel love.
They can go on and lie about it, but they do feel it.
I can feel it, even now.
But I'm trying to remember towards what I feel it.
If you're after someone so bad, but they don't feel the same, that's not love.
It's just there.
Maybe I'm lonely.
Maybe I'm not.
But I'm so tired of feeling this empty.
I know something's missing.
And I want to fill it so bad that it's INSANE.
I.. hmm..
I don't hate love.
I mean, it's wonderful when you're IN love.
Meaning you love them, they love you.
But I hate LOVERS.
Their pictures of holding hands, hugging, kissing.
Their display of that.
I hope I'm not the only that feels this way.
But It just gets to be too much.
And I think, "Why can't I have that? What have I fucked up?"
I know I have a better personality then some people.
And better "looks."
(And yes, looks do matter in relationships no matter how much the stupid fuck lies and says they don't.)
And I'll be so asphyxiated on someone with the worst girlfriend, but they won't notice me.
I don't understand it.
But yeah..
I hate lovers.
"But I believe that lovers should be tied together and
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
Left there to drown in their innocence
....
We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together
And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
And left there to burn
Left there to burn in their arrogance"
But then again..
If I happen to be in a relationship of the same sort,
I'd do the same.
Yes, it's hypocritical, but if I were frequently in relationships, then maybe I'd had another viewpoint.
"Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And layed entwined together on a bed of clover
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness"
I love love.
But once it's over, it's bad.
Being left is bad.
And really upsetting.
"But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover
And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer
But autumn came, She disappeared
You can't remember where she said she was going to
But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song
That you don't want to sing"
But being alone right now isn't getting me anywhere.
And that too, is upsetting.
"Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing mattered
All would be clear then
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
You are here then you're gone
....
But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter
I read all of the pages and there is still no answer
Only all that was before I know must soon come after
That is the only way it can be
So I stand in the sun
And I breathe with my lungs
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror
And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
And now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water
Wishing you were a ghost"
And due to that, I've tried to change myself for so long.
Just to be wanted.
What's wrong with me..
I won't fix those changes because they aren't necesarrily bad.
But still.
"But as for me I'm coming to my final failure
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be"
Maybe it's not so bad.
And maybe I'd be better off falling in love with myself.
-.-
<3