On a multitude of things
So there’s been a lot going on, haha, too much. Laptop died briefly, independent study forms to fill out, reading lists to get, studies to be copied, the Natural Disaster Preparedness Campaign is back in action, quizzes, homework, and practice. So much to do, and not nearly enough time, so I’m at work and taking a short break to change the pace so that I don't fall asleep. I didn’t even get to do my ab workout this morning ‘cause I was too sleepy, and I knew if I didn’t stay in bed for another hour I’d fall asleep in class. but even when I got up again at 10, I turned off my alarm and laid back down and said to myself, wow, this is dangerous, I might just fall asleep and miss my class. and that’s nearly what happened. I started counting back from 100 so when I reached 0 I’d get up and get going, but I think I made it into the 60’s before I drifted off....but the phone rang at 10:12 and woke me up - divine intervention? haha, so I didn’t end up missing Philosophy of religion.
Philosophy of religion is really interesting. right now we’re going over the 3-O’s as my teacher calls it. Omnipotence, Omniscence, Omnibenevolence. She actually brought a lot of psychology into the discussion of omniscience today, we talked about free will and choices basted on the writings of St. Augustine. With Omnipotence, I actually really understood and got the argument put forth by St. Aquinas (he’s actually the patron saint of students, did you know?) and he did a very good job defending it, if there is a God, the father and creator then i believe he would be omnipotent Aqunias explains it perfectly....but our discussion on Omniscience today was....less convincing. I am a firm believer in choice and free will. I think it is easy to see some choices people would make but you can’t foresee everything. I also don’t believe things happen for a reason, or a being makes things happen, or can control it. I don’t believe in fate and I don’t believe in destiny. I believe in drive and motivation and conviction. So I don’t believe in an omniscient God, I don"t think there can be such a thing. Like a kid with an ant farm, we are loved and cared for, but no one can see how we will colonize until we have done it. Maybe I’m just pessimistic but I don’t believe a God can be omnibenevolent and omniscient.
Haha, the office has started doing something new too, stretching every hour. It’s a good idea, it feels good too.....
Well, happiest birthday wishes to Peter, I’m glad someone was able to treat you to a celebration. Those low-key relaxed gatherings are my favorite kind, those kendo peeps sound pretty cool.
And TJ will be back tomorrow, that’s good, then things can get back to normal. Hopefully his uncle’s funeral was not too hard on him and he’s getting to spend a lot of time with family and they are sharing lots of stories with him. I’ve been to two funerals for my family members and they were both very different from each other
My grandfather Eickhoff’s funeral was really small and simple. He was cremated afterhaving spent a long time in the hospital, we had been there in the hospital with him for a little while, I don’t think i really understood what was going on tho until after he died and were in his house and he wasn’t there. I’d never been in his house without him. I’d never been in his room, I’d never touched anything of his without his express permission, it’d always kinda been a “hands-off” type of house. but he wasn’t there. So I was allowed to see what was in the locked desk in the guest room. I was allowed into his room and that’s where I found his watch collection that I treasured until my parents managed to confiscate it. My mother brought to Katie and I things of his that we could keep if we wanted, I got a blue wooden horse and she got a display case from the china cabinet. Katie brought home a large wooden jewlery box with a secret drawer from Linda’s room and I had a small yellow leather jewlery box that might have been Linda’s too, but so old I could pick the lock with a paper clip. Big Scott, the Budwiser clidesdale stuffed animal I loved to ride on around the living room came home with us as well as some of linda’s old stuffed animals. I also got to keep a lucky stone my grandfather had had in his room. It was so weird to sit on the floor in front of his bed, that’s when I knew I’d never see him again, ‘cause I’d never been allowed to do that before. I finally stopped being afraid of the ground floor too, the cement floor and the bathroom with the pig theme and the workroom with all his tools that smelled just like TJ’s garage. His service had been small, only our family and Linda attended, his ashes were in a small box, slightly taller than it was wide and from what I remember, a simple design. The church was beautiful, I think it was the church that made me fall in love with churches in genereal. The woodwork was very ornate and very darkly stained, we sat in pews on the side of the nave and the service was very short, I don’t remember anyone else there besides the preist. He was buried in the church yard right up by the church wall, and then we went and ate at an irish restraunt in town and that’s when some of us started to break down. I still remember how beautiful his garden was, even the vibrant colors of the fake pinwheel flowers like big versions of the ones that were the towel hooks in the guest bathroom...how everything had the greatest color outside, and how inside the house the best colors were in my grandfather’s paintings. He was cremated afterhaving spent a long time in the hospital, we had been there in the hospital with him for a little while, I don’t think i really understood what was going on tho until after he died and were in his house and he wasn’t there. I’d never been in his house without him. I’d never been in his room, I’d never touched anything of his without his express permission, it’d always kinda been a “hands-off” type of house. but he wasn’t there. So I was allowed to see what was in the locked desk in the guest room. I was allowed into his room and that’s where I found his watch collection that I treasured until my parents managed to confiscate it. My mother brought to Katie and I things of his that we could keep if we wanted, I got a blue wooden horse and she got a display case from the china cabinet. Katie brought home a large wooden jewlery box with a secret drawer from Linda’s room and I had a small yellow leather jewlery box that might have been Linda’s too, but so old I could pick the lock with a paper clip. Big Scott, the Budwiser clidesdale stuffed animal I loved to ride on around the living room came home with us as well as some of linda’s old stuffed animals. I also got to keep a lucky stone my grandfather had had in his room. It was so weird to sit on the floor in front of his bed, that’s when I knew I’d never see him again, ‘cause I’d never been allowed to do that before. I finally stopped being afraid of the ground floor too, the cement floor and the bathroom with the pig theme and the workroom with all his tools that smelled just like TJ’s garage. His service had been small, only our family and Linda attended, his ashes were in a small box, slightly taller than it was wide and from what I remember, a simple design. The church was beautiful, I think it was the church that made me fall in love with churches in genereal. The woodwork was very ornate and very darkly stained, we sat in pews on the side of the nave and the service was very short, I don’t remember anyone else there besides the preist. He was buried in the church yard right up by the church wall, and then we went and ate at an Irish restraunt in town and that’s when some of us started to break down. I still remember how beautiful his garden was, even the vibrant colors of the fake pinwheel flowers like big versions of the ones that were the towel hooks in the guest bathroom...how everything had the greatest color outside, and how inside the house the best colors were in my grandfather’s paintings.
My Grandfather Moore’s funeral was very very different. It was open casket and there were lots of people there. Relatives I’d never met before, young kids, older adults, neighbors, friends, there viewing room was always full. Even when I first got to the funeral parlor with my family, I don’t remember getting too close to the casket then. I know I spent a lot of time in a side kitchen-like room where there was some food and most of the younger kids were, like my baby cousin Hannah. I played with her, and my older cousins, but didn’t really go anywhere else. I know later though, and I think it was my mom, but someone came to get me to say goodbye and brought me right up next to the casket. It was very, very strange. He looked fake, my grandfather had always been shining, smiling, moving, talking, he talked a lot and had a great voice. But his skin was flat, no sheen to it at all, he looked too tan, fake, like a mannequin or a sculpture, not like a person who had ever lived. There was a weird smell too, stale like the air around him was dead too. I didn’t like it at all, it wasn’t quiet and peaceful like my other grandfather’s funeral, it wasn’t in a beautiful church, it was in a short, stale room. It wasn’t peaceful with everyone there talking at once, he didn’t seem real. They said it was alright to touch him, to place my hands on his...but those hands that’d picked me up, taken me out on a small boat to go fishing (which I’d hated), picked me up, helped me build sandcastles, I didn’t want to touch hands that looked so like the ones I’d touched before, but weren’t. These were fake, I wouldn’t touch them, so I shrank back into the crowd of people and found my mother again. Some people spoke, I was introduced to a few, music played, and we were all pushed out of the room when the Freemasons came to say goodbye. I still wonder what last rights they did for my grandfather. He was buried in a graveyard that had beautiful headstones, I was shown the stones of some other family members too. I guess one thing I really remember about my grandfather Moore was going with him to Oscar’s house. Oscar lived out in a really rural part of Indiana, I know we had to drive past a lot of corn fields to get there. He lived in a small house, and there was a cat that liked to wander around there begging for scraps, it didn’t belong to Oscar, but he let me take it inside to play with it. Oscar was nice, he had such a nice atmosphere about him, so relaxed, like my grandfather but less intense. He let me ride his scooter around in the garage, he and my grandfather got a good laugh about that. I remember sitting on the floor of the kitchen in Oscar’s house playing with that ragged gray kitten that had patches of fur missing and it’s skin was so rough, all of us just relaxed around a table that felt like it had never moved, like the house was built around it. A few years later, Oscar committed suicide, I only met him once but I really liked him.
Death is hard, and we never deal with it the way we expect we will. We never handle it as well as we’d like, or we imagine we would. Erike Shalav says that the first reaction after a traumatic event is recovery. I’m a firm believer in that sometimes a person just needs to feel. They need to feel sad, even though it doesn’t help, they need to feel angry even though it won’t fix a problem, they need to feel love even though it won’t change things. People just need to feel what they do, and then see that it’s okay to feel that way, living with it is the only way to deal with it, because pain, grief, loss, love, and all these emotions are a part of us. I know TJ will be okay, but I know from experience it’ll take time. It’ll be good to have him back in b-burg ^ ^ we’ve got a surprise waiting for him.
In other news - Heath Ledger has passed away and I’m not too please about it. Does anyone know, was it a suicide or an overdose? I havn’t heard a verdict yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised either way. I’m also not surprised that the Westboro Baptist church is going to be at his funeral in the states protesting ‘cause he played a gay character in a movie...and screaming about how he’s starting his eternity in hell for promoting that being gay is okay. I am however saddened, for all his cheesey roles, Heath ledger has been a great actor. He has a beautiful daughter and has been one celebrity who has stayed out of the crazy up-their-own-asses district of Hollywood. Heath Ledger got me so excited about the new batman movie too, him in the trailer is perfect, beautiful acting, he’s versitile and handsome and charming on screen and off. It saddens me that these religious fanatics would take this loss as an oppertuinty to spread their message of hate and ignorance.
besides that, I found two sites which are hilarious, thanks collin for making keith show me the Halolz site....and the other is Understanding art for geeks, which I think really made some improvements on so called "classic treasures" XD (Composition with Yellow, Blue, and Red in particular, I really don't like Piet Mondrian).....
Philosophy of religion is really interesting. right now we’re going over the 3-O’s as my teacher calls it. Omnipotence, Omniscence, Omnibenevolence. She actually brought a lot of psychology into the discussion of omniscience today, we talked about free will and choices basted on the writings of St. Augustine. With Omnipotence, I actually really understood and got the argument put forth by St. Aquinas (he’s actually the patron saint of students, did you know?) and he did a very good job defending it, if there is a God, the father and creator then i believe he would be omnipotent Aqunias explains it perfectly....but our discussion on Omniscience today was....less convincing. I am a firm believer in choice and free will. I think it is easy to see some choices people would make but you can’t foresee everything. I also don’t believe things happen for a reason, or a being makes things happen, or can control it. I don’t believe in fate and I don’t believe in destiny. I believe in drive and motivation and conviction. So I don’t believe in an omniscient God, I don"t think there can be such a thing. Like a kid with an ant farm, we are loved and cared for, but no one can see how we will colonize until we have done it. Maybe I’m just pessimistic but I don’t believe a God can be omnibenevolent and omniscient.
Haha, the office has started doing something new too, stretching every hour. It’s a good idea, it feels good too.....
Well, happiest birthday wishes to Peter, I’m glad someone was able to treat you to a celebration. Those low-key relaxed gatherings are my favorite kind, those kendo peeps sound pretty cool.
And TJ will be back tomorrow, that’s good, then things can get back to normal. Hopefully his uncle’s funeral was not too hard on him and he’s getting to spend a lot of time with family and they are sharing lots of stories with him. I’ve been to two funerals for my family members and they were both very different from each other
My grandfather Eickhoff’s funeral was really small and simple. He was cremated afterhaving spent a long time in the hospital, we had been there in the hospital with him for a little while, I don’t think i really understood what was going on tho until after he died and were in his house and he wasn’t there. I’d never been in his house without him. I’d never been in his room, I’d never touched anything of his without his express permission, it’d always kinda been a “hands-off” type of house. but he wasn’t there. So I was allowed to see what was in the locked desk in the guest room. I was allowed into his room and that’s where I found his watch collection that I treasured until my parents managed to confiscate it. My mother brought to Katie and I things of his that we could keep if we wanted, I got a blue wooden horse and she got a display case from the china cabinet. Katie brought home a large wooden jewlery box with a secret drawer from Linda’s room and I had a small yellow leather jewlery box that might have been Linda’s too, but so old I could pick the lock with a paper clip. Big Scott, the Budwiser clidesdale stuffed animal I loved to ride on around the living room came home with us as well as some of linda’s old stuffed animals. I also got to keep a lucky stone my grandfather had had in his room. It was so weird to sit on the floor in front of his bed, that’s when I knew I’d never see him again, ‘cause I’d never been allowed to do that before. I finally stopped being afraid of the ground floor too, the cement floor and the bathroom with the pig theme and the workroom with all his tools that smelled just like TJ’s garage. His service had been small, only our family and Linda attended, his ashes were in a small box, slightly taller than it was wide and from what I remember, a simple design. The church was beautiful, I think it was the church that made me fall in love with churches in genereal. The woodwork was very ornate and very darkly stained, we sat in pews on the side of the nave and the service was very short, I don’t remember anyone else there besides the preist. He was buried in the church yard right up by the church wall, and then we went and ate at an irish restraunt in town and that’s when some of us started to break down. I still remember how beautiful his garden was, even the vibrant colors of the fake pinwheel flowers like big versions of the ones that were the towel hooks in the guest bathroom...how everything had the greatest color outside, and how inside the house the best colors were in my grandfather’s paintings. He was cremated afterhaving spent a long time in the hospital, we had been there in the hospital with him for a little while, I don’t think i really understood what was going on tho until after he died and were in his house and he wasn’t there. I’d never been in his house without him. I’d never been in his room, I’d never touched anything of his without his express permission, it’d always kinda been a “hands-off” type of house. but he wasn’t there. So I was allowed to see what was in the locked desk in the guest room. I was allowed into his room and that’s where I found his watch collection that I treasured until my parents managed to confiscate it. My mother brought to Katie and I things of his that we could keep if we wanted, I got a blue wooden horse and she got a display case from the china cabinet. Katie brought home a large wooden jewlery box with a secret drawer from Linda’s room and I had a small yellow leather jewlery box that might have been Linda’s too, but so old I could pick the lock with a paper clip. Big Scott, the Budwiser clidesdale stuffed animal I loved to ride on around the living room came home with us as well as some of linda’s old stuffed animals. I also got to keep a lucky stone my grandfather had had in his room. It was so weird to sit on the floor in front of his bed, that’s when I knew I’d never see him again, ‘cause I’d never been allowed to do that before. I finally stopped being afraid of the ground floor too, the cement floor and the bathroom with the pig theme and the workroom with all his tools that smelled just like TJ’s garage. His service had been small, only our family and Linda attended, his ashes were in a small box, slightly taller than it was wide and from what I remember, a simple design. The church was beautiful, I think it was the church that made me fall in love with churches in genereal. The woodwork was very ornate and very darkly stained, we sat in pews on the side of the nave and the service was very short, I don’t remember anyone else there besides the preist. He was buried in the church yard right up by the church wall, and then we went and ate at an Irish restraunt in town and that’s when some of us started to break down. I still remember how beautiful his garden was, even the vibrant colors of the fake pinwheel flowers like big versions of the ones that were the towel hooks in the guest bathroom...how everything had the greatest color outside, and how inside the house the best colors were in my grandfather’s paintings.
My Grandfather Moore’s funeral was very very different. It was open casket and there were lots of people there. Relatives I’d never met before, young kids, older adults, neighbors, friends, there viewing room was always full. Even when I first got to the funeral parlor with my family, I don’t remember getting too close to the casket then. I know I spent a lot of time in a side kitchen-like room where there was some food and most of the younger kids were, like my baby cousin Hannah. I played with her, and my older cousins, but didn’t really go anywhere else. I know later though, and I think it was my mom, but someone came to get me to say goodbye and brought me right up next to the casket. It was very, very strange. He looked fake, my grandfather had always been shining, smiling, moving, talking, he talked a lot and had a great voice. But his skin was flat, no sheen to it at all, he looked too tan, fake, like a mannequin or a sculpture, not like a person who had ever lived. There was a weird smell too, stale like the air around him was dead too. I didn’t like it at all, it wasn’t quiet and peaceful like my other grandfather’s funeral, it wasn’t in a beautiful church, it was in a short, stale room. It wasn’t peaceful with everyone there talking at once, he didn’t seem real. They said it was alright to touch him, to place my hands on his...but those hands that’d picked me up, taken me out on a small boat to go fishing (which I’d hated), picked me up, helped me build sandcastles, I didn’t want to touch hands that looked so like the ones I’d touched before, but weren’t. These were fake, I wouldn’t touch them, so I shrank back into the crowd of people and found my mother again. Some people spoke, I was introduced to a few, music played, and we were all pushed out of the room when the Freemasons came to say goodbye. I still wonder what last rights they did for my grandfather. He was buried in a graveyard that had beautiful headstones, I was shown the stones of some other family members too. I guess one thing I really remember about my grandfather Moore was going with him to Oscar’s house. Oscar lived out in a really rural part of Indiana, I know we had to drive past a lot of corn fields to get there. He lived in a small house, and there was a cat that liked to wander around there begging for scraps, it didn’t belong to Oscar, but he let me take it inside to play with it. Oscar was nice, he had such a nice atmosphere about him, so relaxed, like my grandfather but less intense. He let me ride his scooter around in the garage, he and my grandfather got a good laugh about that. I remember sitting on the floor of the kitchen in Oscar’s house playing with that ragged gray kitten that had patches of fur missing and it’s skin was so rough, all of us just relaxed around a table that felt like it had never moved, like the house was built around it. A few years later, Oscar committed suicide, I only met him once but I really liked him.
Death is hard, and we never deal with it the way we expect we will. We never handle it as well as we’d like, or we imagine we would. Erike Shalav says that the first reaction after a traumatic event is recovery. I’m a firm believer in that sometimes a person just needs to feel. They need to feel sad, even though it doesn’t help, they need to feel angry even though it won’t fix a problem, they need to feel love even though it won’t change things. People just need to feel what they do, and then see that it’s okay to feel that way, living with it is the only way to deal with it, because pain, grief, loss, love, and all these emotions are a part of us. I know TJ will be okay, but I know from experience it’ll take time. It’ll be good to have him back in b-burg ^ ^ we’ve got a surprise waiting for him.
In other news - Heath Ledger has passed away and I’m not too please about it. Does anyone know, was it a suicide or an overdose? I havn’t heard a verdict yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised either way. I’m also not surprised that the Westboro Baptist church is going to be at his funeral in the states protesting ‘cause he played a gay character in a movie...and screaming about how he’s starting his eternity in hell for promoting that being gay is okay. I am however saddened, for all his cheesey roles, Heath ledger has been a great actor. He has a beautiful daughter and has been one celebrity who has stayed out of the crazy up-their-own-asses district of Hollywood. Heath Ledger got me so excited about the new batman movie too, him in the trailer is perfect, beautiful acting, he’s versitile and handsome and charming on screen and off. It saddens me that these religious fanatics would take this loss as an oppertuinty to spread their message of hate and ignorance.
besides that, I found two sites which are hilarious, thanks collin for making keith show me the Halolz site....and the other is Understanding art for geeks, which I think really made some improvements on so called "classic treasures" XD (Composition with Yellow, Blue, and Red in particular, I really don't like Piet Mondrian).....