Tis a late time to vent but,
What can I say? This is the only place where I shall be free from all reasons, logics and laws of gravity. Sometimes it is absolutely grim to be shackled with such things...
It's been a long time since I paid a visit to this free world of mine... I don't know why I haven't been back into this world for over 2 years... I guess I have changed a bit after all.
My life is nothing special really... I go through rather routinized hours which consist of my mundane days. Someone might argue about the definition of being special... I say whatever it is, it doesn't really matter since my mind is rather fixed on that point of view.
It's not like I complain about every day's events and unexpected happenings. It's not that life isn't fun and I want to die. There seems to be this, 'void', to be called, in my mind and heart. I haven't figured out why it is there or what it does to me. It exists but doesn't really exists at the same time.
Biologic structurally speaking, human kind is a waste of everything. They waste energy, lives, water, and tons of more things that could have been used in more efficient ways. Yes, I'm not an exception. If anyone dares to be so factually critical on this matter, I cannot explain why I deserve to exist. I'm not biologically and environmently perfect.
All the wars, ugliness, hatred, misery, cruelty and so on, are all distant to people who are close to me. Some of them are aware of the paradox of our peace and stability. Some of them just carry their lives without putting so much effort in thinking. I am rather to be the one who knows the paradox of our granted peace and silence. For that, I'm logically false and despicable. I'm not socially perfect. I can't even do little things to try to alter such nonsenses in our social lives... though altering it would make many people's lives better in some ways...
But still, these matters don't really consist up that void...
Being back on this place reminds me of old times... when I was much less stable... when I was more stupid and younger. Back then, I made tons of mistakes and left several wounded memories... for myself and maybe for many of othres.. I didn't have enough power to control over my emotions...
But what's done is done... If I could do anything to fix my wrong doings in the past time, I would do it in a reasonable way... But such a chance seldom hits you in your forehead... I do regret the past... I do repent for it... But I am not shamed... for that it is an evidence of what I have learned and grown into...
I have been free floating this place for 30 mins... still nothing crosses my mind to figure out the nature of this void that I mentioned earlier...
Hm... maybe I should invest more time on visiting this place... clearly, spending much time on this matter with possible logical explanation has failed and dragged me into this place...
One thing is for sure though... I don't like this void. I want to exterminate it. It takes away all of my positive thoughts and motivations... making me nothing but a whole chunk of void...
It's been a long time since I paid a visit to this free world of mine... I don't know why I haven't been back into this world for over 2 years... I guess I have changed a bit after all.
My life is nothing special really... I go through rather routinized hours which consist of my mundane days. Someone might argue about the definition of being special... I say whatever it is, it doesn't really matter since my mind is rather fixed on that point of view.
It's not like I complain about every day's events and unexpected happenings. It's not that life isn't fun and I want to die. There seems to be this, 'void', to be called, in my mind and heart. I haven't figured out why it is there or what it does to me. It exists but doesn't really exists at the same time.
Biologic structurally speaking, human kind is a waste of everything. They waste energy, lives, water, and tons of more things that could have been used in more efficient ways. Yes, I'm not an exception. If anyone dares to be so factually critical on this matter, I cannot explain why I deserve to exist. I'm not biologically and environmently perfect.
All the wars, ugliness, hatred, misery, cruelty and so on, are all distant to people who are close to me. Some of them are aware of the paradox of our peace and stability. Some of them just carry their lives without putting so much effort in thinking. I am rather to be the one who knows the paradox of our granted peace and silence. For that, I'm logically false and despicable. I'm not socially perfect. I can't even do little things to try to alter such nonsenses in our social lives... though altering it would make many people's lives better in some ways...
But still, these matters don't really consist up that void...
Being back on this place reminds me of old times... when I was much less stable... when I was more stupid and younger. Back then, I made tons of mistakes and left several wounded memories... for myself and maybe for many of othres.. I didn't have enough power to control over my emotions...
But what's done is done... If I could do anything to fix my wrong doings in the past time, I would do it in a reasonable way... But such a chance seldom hits you in your forehead... I do regret the past... I do repent for it... But I am not shamed... for that it is an evidence of what I have learned and grown into...
I have been free floating this place for 30 mins... still nothing crosses my mind to figure out the nature of this void that I mentioned earlier...
Hm... maybe I should invest more time on visiting this place... clearly, spending much time on this matter with possible logical explanation has failed and dragged me into this place...
One thing is for sure though... I don't like this void. I want to exterminate it. It takes away all of my positive thoughts and motivations... making me nothing but a whole chunk of void...