Dials in the red...
This isn't good you all. You know how I'm always pretty cool and level-headed? How I'm normally pretty cheerful and how you've never seen me especially angry or sad? That's probably going to end about five minutes ago. I was fine, stressed, a little frustrated and tired (which when combined cause a kind of depression) but now i'm nearing that breaking point. The dials are in the red and, pretty soon, i'm going to break.
I got an email from my mom, if that helps explain the situation, it didn't even say much, just made me feel like crap in approximately 6.9 seconds. I've been working myself to the bone and it's all starting to catch up.
It's not like i'm her other son. It's not as though i'm a failure...I'm not a drug-addict or alcoholic...I'm not going down a dead-end road. I doing what no one in my family has done, i'm accomplishing more than she ever did...couldn't she just take pride in that and leave things be? Evidently not...
It doesn't matter that she's told her oldest son that he had demons inside of him...it doesn't matter that she's told her youngest son that the reason he's an old soul is because he fucks up in every life. It doesn't matter that she married a man that has thrown her children down the stairs or strangled or hit them. It doesn't matter that her oldest needs to attend meetings and therapy...
It doesn't matter that i'm making a name for myself, that i'm succeeding, that i'm bright and witty and musical and smart...
fucking bitch.....
I'm so happy i'm not going home for christmas...i don't think i could take it...something bad would happen, i'm sure of it...we'd fight, she'd be herself...i'm so so...
tired...
I got an email from my mom, if that helps explain the situation, it didn't even say much, just made me feel like crap in approximately 6.9 seconds. I've been working myself to the bone and it's all starting to catch up.
It's not like i'm her other son. It's not as though i'm a failure...I'm not a drug-addict or alcoholic...I'm not going down a dead-end road. I doing what no one in my family has done, i'm accomplishing more than she ever did...couldn't she just take pride in that and leave things be? Evidently not...
It doesn't matter that she's told her oldest son that he had demons inside of him...it doesn't matter that she's told her youngest son that the reason he's an old soul is because he fucks up in every life. It doesn't matter that she married a man that has thrown her children down the stairs or strangled or hit them. It doesn't matter that her oldest needs to attend meetings and therapy...
It doesn't matter that i'm making a name for myself, that i'm succeeding, that i'm bright and witty and musical and smart...
fucking bitch.....
I'm so happy i'm not going home for christmas...i don't think i could take it...something bad would happen, i'm sure of it...we'd fight, she'd be herself...i'm so so...
tired...