I'm lonely.....
It sucks cuz the whole day went by fine. I talked to him for a little bit...and it made me soooo fucking happy to hear his voice and be able to laugh with him...
It's like it's okay cuz I guess I'm used to not really seeing him all day, you know? Like I'm used to him sleeping real late cuz he was an insomniac...and used to me going to work...and not seeing him til the nighttime....and even though he wouldn't ever really go to bed with me, he was still there to say goodnight and say I love you...and give me that comfort, ya know? Like he'd come lay with me until I was at least like halfway asleep...and I don't have that now...
So I'm fine all day and now...I'm bawling my eyes out again...cuz he's not here...and he's not gonna be near me for another month and it's killing me even knowing that.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't take this every night. The worst part is, I don't know if tonight is an example of the nights to come, cuz I'm told I'm gonna get a call, and I don't...so it makes it even harder for me cuz all I want is to hear his voice, and I can't even get that.
I don't think I've ever ever ever felt so lonely in my entire life...cuz there's no one I can go to and just hug and cry and cry and cry, cuz it's like everyone's just saying get over it, but it's easier said than done...cuz these people have someone's shoulder to lean on and I really don't. The only shoulder I have to lean on is in Miami and I can't see him for a fucking month.
I feel like I'm gonna fall apart.
It's like it's okay cuz I guess I'm used to not really seeing him all day, you know? Like I'm used to him sleeping real late cuz he was an insomniac...and used to me going to work...and not seeing him til the nighttime....and even though he wouldn't ever really go to bed with me, he was still there to say goodnight and say I love you...and give me that comfort, ya know? Like he'd come lay with me until I was at least like halfway asleep...and I don't have that now...
So I'm fine all day and now...I'm bawling my eyes out again...cuz he's not here...and he's not gonna be near me for another month and it's killing me even knowing that.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't take this every night. The worst part is, I don't know if tonight is an example of the nights to come, cuz I'm told I'm gonna get a call, and I don't...so it makes it even harder for me cuz all I want is to hear his voice, and I can't even get that.
I don't think I've ever ever ever felt so lonely in my entire life...cuz there's no one I can go to and just hug and cry and cry and cry, cuz it's like everyone's just saying get over it, but it's easier said than done...cuz these people have someone's shoulder to lean on and I really don't. The only shoulder I have to lean on is in Miami and I can't see him for a fucking month.
I feel like I'm gonna fall apart.