i'm ready to just....die
Yep...so I have this suspicion that Remie is cheating on me...or at least talking to bitches.
Why me? God, why me? I try sooooo fucking hard to be a good girl. I do. I really do. And I get nothing for it. I just get told how big of a cunt I am...I ain't shit to him, am I?
Stupid little white girl.
After all these years, I thought I meant something. Even when I do have my doubts...deep down I think "he really loves me"....but he doesn't, does he?
I gave up fucking evcerything I ever knew for this kid...I have no fucking friends anymore. I have no one, nothing, but him. And that would be fine if I felt like I actually had him most of the time, but I don't.
I'm fucking dying inside.
I don't know why I always do this to myself. I always end up hurt...but it's like, I have to know. 4 and a half fucking years...and he hides everything from me.
I don't even know what to believe anymore. One day it's I love you I love you I love you and the next, I can't fuckingg stand you...get your shit and get the fuck out of my house.
I give him fucking every ounce of me and I get nothing back.
I just wanna slit my fucking wrists man...and I hate that. It's the single worst feeling in the world. Especially when it gets so deep that I can actually see it in my head...and it just looks so beautiful and serene and peaceful...
I don't want to be like that anymore.
And the worst part is he doesn't give a shit. I could slice the shit right in front of his eeyes and all he would do is kick me out.
I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck......
How the fuck is it that I cann be with someone everyday and still feel so fucking alone?
What the fuck....
Got me sitting here like a fucking asshole bawlingg my eyes out to myself because he can't just prove to me that there's nothing.
I have and continue to do whatever I can to show him that I'm all his...and he jst refuses to prove it to me.
If I lose him...I lose every fucking thing that I know. Any will-power or ambition or little tiny bit of selfesteem that I've ever been able to muster up will jsut fucking fade to black just like me.
I really REALLY REALLY
wish I just had a fucking gun. This life is not for me.
It's just not.
Why me? God, why me? I try sooooo fucking hard to be a good girl. I do. I really do. And I get nothing for it. I just get told how big of a cunt I am...I ain't shit to him, am I?
Stupid little white girl.
After all these years, I thought I meant something. Even when I do have my doubts...deep down I think "he really loves me"....but he doesn't, does he?
I gave up fucking evcerything I ever knew for this kid...I have no fucking friends anymore. I have no one, nothing, but him. And that would be fine if I felt like I actually had him most of the time, but I don't.
I'm fucking dying inside.
I don't know why I always do this to myself. I always end up hurt...but it's like, I have to know. 4 and a half fucking years...and he hides everything from me.
I don't even know what to believe anymore. One day it's I love you I love you I love you and the next, I can't fuckingg stand you...get your shit and get the fuck out of my house.
I give him fucking every ounce of me and I get nothing back.
I just wanna slit my fucking wrists man...and I hate that. It's the single worst feeling in the world. Especially when it gets so deep that I can actually see it in my head...and it just looks so beautiful and serene and peaceful...
I don't want to be like that anymore.
And the worst part is he doesn't give a shit. I could slice the shit right in front of his eeyes and all he would do is kick me out.
I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck......
How the fuck is it that I cann be with someone everyday and still feel so fucking alone?
What the fuck....
Got me sitting here like a fucking asshole bawlingg my eyes out to myself because he can't just prove to me that there's nothing.
I have and continue to do whatever I can to show him that I'm all his...and he jst refuses to prove it to me.
If I lose him...I lose every fucking thing that I know. Any will-power or ambition or little tiny bit of selfesteem that I've ever been able to muster up will jsut fucking fade to black just like me.
I really REALLY REALLY
wish I just had a fucking gun. This life is not for me.
It's just not.