job fair tomorrow
here is where i write about my anxiety about going to a job fair.
it's a really simple little job fair, just for one organization, and it won't be a big deal, but here's the anxiety anyway.
can't sleep, job fair will eat me.
at least i do get to sleep in an extra 20 minutes. except that i'm staying up over an hour later than usual with this ickiness. of course. and also i don't have any tea so i'll have to go get that tomorrow morning on the way.
it's really not a big deal.
the other day i got a phone call from a place where i wanted to work. they said it was a preliminary interview, and then if they liked me i'd get passed along. and then they asked me some questions. i felt ambushed, i started shaking. i think i was fine on the phone, but when i got off i was anxious for the rest of the night.
it's like looking for a job causes anxiety but the prospect of having a job also causes anxiety. because i've had so many bad experiences and i like where i'm volunteering so i don't want to give that up for a shitty workplace. ilan promised me he would help me make sure that didn't happen but somehow we always ignore or miss the red flags.
AHH.
we always joke that my foot manufactures its own rocks to get in my shoes because somehow rocks get in my shoes even if i'm walking somewhere where there are no apparent rocks. it's a metaphor for my life. haha.
it's a really simple little job fair, just for one organization, and it won't be a big deal, but here's the anxiety anyway.
can't sleep, job fair will eat me.
at least i do get to sleep in an extra 20 minutes. except that i'm staying up over an hour later than usual with this ickiness. of course. and also i don't have any tea so i'll have to go get that tomorrow morning on the way.
it's really not a big deal.
the other day i got a phone call from a place where i wanted to work. they said it was a preliminary interview, and then if they liked me i'd get passed along. and then they asked me some questions. i felt ambushed, i started shaking. i think i was fine on the phone, but when i got off i was anxious for the rest of the night.
it's like looking for a job causes anxiety but the prospect of having a job also causes anxiety. because i've had so many bad experiences and i like where i'm volunteering so i don't want to give that up for a shitty workplace. ilan promised me he would help me make sure that didn't happen but somehow we always ignore or miss the red flags.
AHH.
we always joke that my foot manufactures its own rocks to get in my shoes because somehow rocks get in my shoes even if i'm walking somewhere where there are no apparent rocks. it's a metaphor for my life. haha.