I need advice
I know only I know my mind best but I still feel I need to get several opinions if any of you have an would like to share with me.
Great news! the pillow arrived safely at Alwin's house this afternoon, and he's thrilled with it! He also told me he'd take pictures of my Ome Jan opening the gift this Saturday I believe so that's most exciting!
Now onto my 'problem' <-- isn't the exact word I want to use
I just got off the phone with Alwin, and he'd mentioned again about the possibility of buying me a round trip plane ticket from Toronto to Amsterdam so that I could visit him and my extended family there. He really wants me to come out and see him, and I really want to go! feels like a once in a lifetime experience I shouldn't pass up. When he first brought this idea up weeks ago, I mentioned it to my mum, and her reaction was 'that's not a good idea' and I couldn't deny it. The depression was really bad at that point.
I'm feeling a little better at the moment, though I don't know if that's a fluke or a growing trend *fingers crossed* for the latter. Talking to Alwin about coming to Holland sounds so exciting and as I said I really REALLY want to go!
So why don't I just say Yes! I'm coming?
Alwin has said to me, you can be depressed in Port Hope, but also in Holland, but he's not worried about that. He wants me out, taking a vacation and living my life [you've got to admit it sounds oh so very appealing] I know Alwin doesn't fully understand my depression, and I lack the words to explain it to him. Mum's worried that I'll arrive and want nothing more that to go back home and be miserable the entire time.
I can't deny that same thought crossing my mind, thing is, I've traveled from home before and dealt with similar thoughts and varying degrees of homesickness, but nothing I haven't been able to put aside to live in the moment. I know for me sometimes the act of leaving the house to see people is the hardest, but once I'm out with friends I couldn't be happier and that mood can help me for a few days after.
So in theory this could be very good for me!
But I can't help but feel foolish for considering it. This may be caused by both my mum and Oma's reactions to hearing about the offer. I agreed with them then, but now? It's both terrifying and exciting ^_^
As I said I know only I really know what's going through my head, but if you were battling sever depression, would you take this opportunity?
Alwin's giving me time to think it all over, but I say yes this'll probably happen this February ^_^
Many thanks for any thoughts!
Great news! the pillow arrived safely at Alwin's house this afternoon, and he's thrilled with it! He also told me he'd take pictures of my Ome Jan opening the gift this Saturday I believe so that's most exciting!
Now onto my 'problem' <-- isn't the exact word I want to use
I just got off the phone with Alwin, and he'd mentioned again about the possibility of buying me a round trip plane ticket from Toronto to Amsterdam so that I could visit him and my extended family there. He really wants me to come out and see him, and I really want to go! feels like a once in a lifetime experience I shouldn't pass up. When he first brought this idea up weeks ago, I mentioned it to my mum, and her reaction was 'that's not a good idea' and I couldn't deny it. The depression was really bad at that point.
I'm feeling a little better at the moment, though I don't know if that's a fluke or a growing trend *fingers crossed* for the latter. Talking to Alwin about coming to Holland sounds so exciting and as I said I really REALLY want to go!
So why don't I just say Yes! I'm coming?
Alwin has said to me, you can be depressed in Port Hope, but also in Holland, but he's not worried about that. He wants me out, taking a vacation and living my life [you've got to admit it sounds oh so very appealing] I know Alwin doesn't fully understand my depression, and I lack the words to explain it to him. Mum's worried that I'll arrive and want nothing more that to go back home and be miserable the entire time.
I can't deny that same thought crossing my mind, thing is, I've traveled from home before and dealt with similar thoughts and varying degrees of homesickness, but nothing I haven't been able to put aside to live in the moment. I know for me sometimes the act of leaving the house to see people is the hardest, but once I'm out with friends I couldn't be happier and that mood can help me for a few days after.
So in theory this could be very good for me!
But I can't help but feel foolish for considering it. This may be caused by both my mum and Oma's reactions to hearing about the offer. I agreed with them then, but now? It's both terrifying and exciting ^_^
As I said I know only I really know what's going through my head, but if you were battling sever depression, would you take this opportunity?
Alwin's giving me time to think it all over, but I say yes this'll probably happen this February ^_^
Many thanks for any thoughts!