Wrong
PG
John/Elizabeth
Angst, dark!John
I got this idea while watching Be All My Sins Remember'd.
It's not happy. At all.
The story of a life made up in his head
He’d die for belief from her he knows he needs her
Everything he wanted is a lie
Convincing her is his only goal tonight
The chances aren’t good but he must try
Don’t, label me a liar
John turned the corner from the control room and headed for his quarters. It'd been three months since they'd destroyed the replicator planet. Finally it seemed everything had gotten back to normal and he was exhausted. He nodded and smiled at the few people he passed in the hall. He'd moved his quarters to the far end of one of the west towers in a more secluded part of the city. He hadn't gotten a chance to explore the whole section yet but the room he'd chosen did have a rather large addition accessible through a connecting balcony.
By the time he'd made it to his section he'd not seen anyone for the past few minutes. John glanced over his shoulder a few times in a paranoid habit. Reaching his hand out he waved at the crystal on the wall and the door to his room slid open smoothly.
His gaze roamed over the room slowly as he started to remove his side arm, folding it up carefully and setting it in a chair. He concentrated a little and the lights came on as he made his way to the balcony. The door opened as he came closer and John saw her standing near the railing watching the sun set. He stopped in the door way, just watching her for a minute. It didn't matter that she shouldn't be here. He didn't care that his conscience told him how wrong this was. John had heard people talking; how he was more withdrawn, quiet, sullen. And he was. He did his job and then he returned to her. Only here he could let it out. Only in his private area of a once great city could he let his pain breathe and live in his perfect yet sick world.
He took another step towards her and the sound of the door closing caused her to turn. The bright smile she gave him did nothing to mend the small cracks in his heart. She did nothing but remind him he'd waited too long. Her presence nearly smothered him in guilt and he reveled in it. He kept her here out of his own selfish need to keep himself sane so he could continue to help his people. But she was also here to punish him. Every look she graced him with, every touch was a punishment.
"John? Are you ok?" Elizabeth reached up and touched his cheek as he finally made his way to her, leaning a hand on each side of her against the railing.
Sheppard ran his eyes up her form before answering her. "Why are you dressed like that?"
Elizabeth's gaze shifted down slightly and back to his eyes, confusion on her face. "I thought it would be appropriate."
John ran one finger across her bare shoulder where one of his old Air Force shirts had slipped down. He looked down and couldn't stop the wave of lust that raced through him at her bare legs and what he was sure, nothing else. Sick.
His voice was low and rough. "She never-"
"I know. But...she wanted to." Elizabeth sighed and dropped her hand. "I've told you, love was not a part of your programming. You didn't have to add it, it was already there. I can't help but love you. It was in her original-"
"Stop it. Don't, just don't talk about her like she's...one of you." He snapped at her and immediately regretted it even as he relished the feeling of pain that spiked in his chest. He deserved this. Rodney would kill him if he knew what he'd done with his Replicator table. John reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist gently, pulling her into him and burying his face in her hair. She even smelled just like Elizabeth and he felt another small piece of himself die. He breathed deeply, hoping she would eventually shave away every part of him till he didn't exist anymore.
"I'm sorry John." He felt her breath across his neck and tried to swallow down the bile that rose in his throat as he was turned on again.
"Forget it."
She kissed his neck lightly and started to unbutton his shirt. John closed his eyes and pictured the real Elizabeth, wondering how long it would take for this to finally and heavenly destroy him.
John/Elizabeth
Angst, dark!John
I got this idea while watching Be All My Sins Remember'd.
It's not happy. At all.
The story of a life made up in his head
He’d die for belief from her he knows he needs her
Everything he wanted is a lie
Convincing her is his only goal tonight
The chances aren’t good but he must try
Don’t, label me a liar
John turned the corner from the control room and headed for his quarters. It'd been three months since they'd destroyed the replicator planet. Finally it seemed everything had gotten back to normal and he was exhausted. He nodded and smiled at the few people he passed in the hall. He'd moved his quarters to the far end of one of the west towers in a more secluded part of the city. He hadn't gotten a chance to explore the whole section yet but the room he'd chosen did have a rather large addition accessible through a connecting balcony.
By the time he'd made it to his section he'd not seen anyone for the past few minutes. John glanced over his shoulder a few times in a paranoid habit. Reaching his hand out he waved at the crystal on the wall and the door to his room slid open smoothly.
His gaze roamed over the room slowly as he started to remove his side arm, folding it up carefully and setting it in a chair. He concentrated a little and the lights came on as he made his way to the balcony. The door opened as he came closer and John saw her standing near the railing watching the sun set. He stopped in the door way, just watching her for a minute. It didn't matter that she shouldn't be here. He didn't care that his conscience told him how wrong this was. John had heard people talking; how he was more withdrawn, quiet, sullen. And he was. He did his job and then he returned to her. Only here he could let it out. Only in his private area of a once great city could he let his pain breathe and live in his perfect yet sick world.
He took another step towards her and the sound of the door closing caused her to turn. The bright smile she gave him did nothing to mend the small cracks in his heart. She did nothing but remind him he'd waited too long. Her presence nearly smothered him in guilt and he reveled in it. He kept her here out of his own selfish need to keep himself sane so he could continue to help his people. But she was also here to punish him. Every look she graced him with, every touch was a punishment.
"John? Are you ok?" Elizabeth reached up and touched his cheek as he finally made his way to her, leaning a hand on each side of her against the railing.
Sheppard ran his eyes up her form before answering her. "Why are you dressed like that?"
Elizabeth's gaze shifted down slightly and back to his eyes, confusion on her face. "I thought it would be appropriate."
John ran one finger across her bare shoulder where one of his old Air Force shirts had slipped down. He looked down and couldn't stop the wave of lust that raced through him at her bare legs and what he was sure, nothing else. Sick.
His voice was low and rough. "She never-"
"I know. But...she wanted to." Elizabeth sighed and dropped her hand. "I've told you, love was not a part of your programming. You didn't have to add it, it was already there. I can't help but love you. It was in her original-"
"Stop it. Don't, just don't talk about her like she's...one of you." He snapped at her and immediately regretted it even as he relished the feeling of pain that spiked in his chest. He deserved this. Rodney would kill him if he knew what he'd done with his Replicator table. John reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist gently, pulling her into him and burying his face in her hair. She even smelled just like Elizabeth and he felt another small piece of himself die. He breathed deeply, hoping she would eventually shave away every part of him till he didn't exist anymore.
"I'm sorry John." He felt her breath across his neck and tried to swallow down the bile that rose in his throat as he was turned on again.
"Forget it."
She kissed his neck lightly and started to unbutton his shirt. John closed his eyes and pictured the real Elizabeth, wondering how long it would take for this to finally and heavenly destroy him.