i think i might start writing alittle again, i duno.
I just got back from my 2nd day of class...and i feel a whole lot differant than my 1st day. Yesterday evening i had a total breakdown, i was so nervous and scared, and felt completly overloaded with work. Now todya after having my production class i feel a whole lot differant. I'm still scared and nervous, but in a motovational kind of way. I always felt pretty competitave in any film class, like i had to be the best and know the most, and my film had to stand out far beyond all the others, but i hate feeling like that, and after this class i really feel changed. It's not about whos best, and i have nothing to prove to these people..they are my classmates, and they are here to help me and to critique me and make me stronger at what i do. Theres no doubt that i still want to make the best film, but instead of it being the best in the class, i want it to be the best film I can make. Throughout my life i feel like i really halfassed everything, even in the films i made that i spent hours making and shot 3 times...i still feel like everything was always last minute and things could have been better, i want to work my hardest to change that about me, and really plan things in advance, and not finish until i can completly happy with everything i've done. I also want to learn to trust other peoples opinions and trust that they are helping me instead of trying to break me. Film is about team work, and i'm just so excited to finally be here where i've dreamt of being for the past few years. I'm also really excited to learn alot of things that i don't know. EEEHH! i have class again in about 45 min!