Comfort Foods And Daydreams.....
There is something theripudic about cooking. I makes me feel something gives me focus. Takes my mind off my overnight stay at the hospital....Mmmmmmm saline IV's.... Good deal. I made a Raspberry Glazed Ham and Fancy Roasted Potatos with fresh dill and rosemary (Thank you brittish Vanessa for showing me the basics of this one).... For dessert? Neopolitin ice cream cause I really miss my grandma.......Mmmmmmm I really want a fucking cooking show. I would be bloody brilliant at it! I can instruct and teach whilst doing thisgs etc. Tell me you wouldn't watch just to see what I am wearing????...Anyone got conections down at the food network?. I will post recipes if anyone asks. I gots tons and they are mostly my own or family's...Vegitarian and non...... :)
L8R......
Try to resist:
Do to the fates fucking wth me realize I am unstable? My original vow:s get thrown out the window of my proverbial self-reversal. I still won't touch liquer but I think I am going to break and drink a beer. I would rather resort to other measures to qualm this over active brain of this dianosed sufferer. I am reluctant, hesitant, whatever, but damn this aniexity. I cannot make the barrage of images and memories stop since that fatal phone call. I return to work tomorrow but I am freaked out by it, I have never missed a day and I have been doing nothing but lieing around in my lazy banter, catching up on the Sopranos. I get oddly attached to these series'. I think of them like friends and family and get emotionally obsessed; I guess that is the american in me (and my moms addiction to soap operas). I furfil my lackluster social life with these fake souls. It's not like I am avoiding people I just am....I have not been fun laely....In fact it is quite depressing/boreing hanging out with me......(I mean come on, who want's to sit and watch me watch T.V.???)
God I am so impaitient it's ridiculous.
"....I want the world, I want the whole world, I want to wrap it all up in my pocket it's my bar of chocolate, Give it to me. now.....I don't care how, give it to me...
.I want it now!!!!!!!!!........."
Strike that; Reverse it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The world came through and I am off to greener pastures, and I did not break my vow to myself either.......Fate........I cold do a happy dance...*wags tail*
Imagine this:
Streetlights and shadows meld together and invite you to the inbetween....
That weird state somewhere between dreming and awake, your dreaming but your consious of the episode of Forensic Files on the T.V.
Now imagine you are yourself now, wise, expirienced, and strong; leading yourself as a depressed, mopey child by the hand through a city thats a soup of everywhere you have been. A sad child that is often confused and frustrated by our high intelligence and disgusted by simple people. Your walking on power lines, across rooftops, through back yards.....Your running from ????? ....You don't know, you've never known....But you know you have to move quickly otherwise "it" will find you. Your consiousness keeps flipping back and forth between your yourself now, and you yourself then. The world seems much the same and you realize that the confusion and disgust has always been there and never went away. Imagine this: you mind is flooding with imagages of the things that have sculpted you into this lean faerie: a perfect kiss, coffeeshops, the boy with the skin of a woman, sadism, floofy skirts and fishnet stockings, diners, red headed goddesses with huge blue eyes, rape, incest, molestation, beatings, all around abuse, city steps, suicide, maochism, denny's, friches`, and michigan back roads.... all blur as you move with a quickness. Your heart is racing and your body burns with exhaustion......Just a little further. You pass faces, all stark and staring at you in disbeleif, is it your face? Can they see your soul? An old grizzeled voodooenne-ish woman with wild curling half dreaded hair meets your eyes with her cateracts and tells you to beware of the color blue? You ponder what she means as you look into the eyes of yourself as a child (blue eyes) and know you have to get her safe. You enter a house half submerged in water, and the wall on the east side is missing. The staicasses keep falling away and crumbleing as you try to leave the boat ( I don't know where this boat came from. But, hey when in rome......)..... The Black Swamp is thick with goo the girl will sufficate in if she falls.....Clinging to her as if god himself will punish you for her death...You finially get her to the upper level of the house and tell the child you to hide in the dollhouse and look her in her long-lashed eyes, wet with tears, there is trancendence between you, you know what she will have to endure and you love her for her strenth.....A million words and memories pass like two sides of the same coin flipping in a pocket.........You turn to check the windows, noticing the strands in the rafters where you once hung things like flowers from lovers and lace from old dresses and wonder when you'll become just another decoration when..........Pulse raceing.............
gasp...........
HAIR
FLASH
EYES
FLASH
BLUE
FLASH
PAUSE
FLASH
EDIT
FLASH
End
Postscript: Sometimes I miss my cornflower eyes............
But these green ones are so much cooler ;)
L8R......
Try to resist:
Do to the fates fucking wth me realize I am unstable? My original vow:s get thrown out the window of my proverbial self-reversal. I still won't touch liquer but I think I am going to break and drink a beer. I would rather resort to other measures to qualm this over active brain of this dianosed sufferer. I am reluctant, hesitant, whatever, but damn this aniexity. I cannot make the barrage of images and memories stop since that fatal phone call. I return to work tomorrow but I am freaked out by it, I have never missed a day and I have been doing nothing but lieing around in my lazy banter, catching up on the Sopranos. I get oddly attached to these series'. I think of them like friends and family and get emotionally obsessed; I guess that is the american in me (and my moms addiction to soap operas). I furfil my lackluster social life with these fake souls. It's not like I am avoiding people I just am....I have not been fun laely....In fact it is quite depressing/boreing hanging out with me......(I mean come on, who want's to sit and watch me watch T.V.???)
God I am so impaitient it's ridiculous.
"....I want the world, I want the whole world, I want to wrap it all up in my pocket it's my bar of chocolate, Give it to me. now.....I don't care how, give it to me...
.I want it now!!!!!!!!!........."
Strike that; Reverse it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The world came through and I am off to greener pastures, and I did not break my vow to myself either.......Fate........I cold do a happy dance...*wags tail*
Imagine this:
Streetlights and shadows meld together and invite you to the inbetween....
That weird state somewhere between dreming and awake, your dreaming but your consious of the episode of Forensic Files on the T.V.
Now imagine you are yourself now, wise, expirienced, and strong; leading yourself as a depressed, mopey child by the hand through a city thats a soup of everywhere you have been. A sad child that is often confused and frustrated by our high intelligence and disgusted by simple people. Your walking on power lines, across rooftops, through back yards.....Your running from ????? ....You don't know, you've never known....But you know you have to move quickly otherwise "it" will find you. Your consiousness keeps flipping back and forth between your yourself now, and you yourself then. The world seems much the same and you realize that the confusion and disgust has always been there and never went away. Imagine this: you mind is flooding with imagages of the things that have sculpted you into this lean faerie: a perfect kiss, coffeeshops, the boy with the skin of a woman, sadism, floofy skirts and fishnet stockings, diners, red headed goddesses with huge blue eyes, rape, incest, molestation, beatings, all around abuse, city steps, suicide, maochism, denny's, friches`, and michigan back roads.... all blur as you move with a quickness. Your heart is racing and your body burns with exhaustion......Just a little further. You pass faces, all stark and staring at you in disbeleif, is it your face? Can they see your soul? An old grizzeled voodooenne-ish woman with wild curling half dreaded hair meets your eyes with her cateracts and tells you to beware of the color blue? You ponder what she means as you look into the eyes of yourself as a child (blue eyes) and know you have to get her safe. You enter a house half submerged in water, and the wall on the east side is missing. The staicasses keep falling away and crumbleing as you try to leave the boat ( I don't know where this boat came from. But, hey when in rome......)..... The Black Swamp is thick with goo the girl will sufficate in if she falls.....Clinging to her as if god himself will punish you for her death...You finially get her to the upper level of the house and tell the child you to hide in the dollhouse and look her in her long-lashed eyes, wet with tears, there is trancendence between you, you know what she will have to endure and you love her for her strenth.....A million words and memories pass like two sides of the same coin flipping in a pocket.........You turn to check the windows, noticing the strands in the rafters where you once hung things like flowers from lovers and lace from old dresses and wonder when you'll become just another decoration when..........Pulse raceing.............
gasp...........
HAIR
FLASH
EYES
FLASH
BLUE
FLASH
PAUSE
FLASH
EDIT
FLASH
End
Postscript: Sometimes I miss my cornflower eyes............
But these green ones are so much cooler ;)