(no subject)
Sooo mira was doing her shit of messing up the floor when she handed me this book- conversations with God. As usual I would just take it and entertain her but this time she was persistent about it. So i read page by page... As usual, I felt impatient and wanted to get back to reading my entertainment gossips. I had these huge urges to just dump the book one side but had to resist the impatient urges. after flipping for a while, what struck me/caught my attention was this thought of a relationship with Jesus. Typically, people would just take relationship with Jesus at face level. but this phrase or word struck me-needy. Can't rmb exactly what's the context was but I rmb being struck that why in our human relationships we're so damn fucking needy, always seeking the attention and affection from the person we desire or from our friends and family, but with our relationship with Jesus and God the Father, it's the other way round! Esp when we're the ones that caused His death. We're the ones who should be starving for His love attention and affection. we're the ones that need His attention, and not the other way round! But He is looking at us waiting for us to notice Him, waiting for us to play/contribute on our part, patiently and lovingly. Just waiting and waiting and waiting. Just imagine, if you're ever on the side of the relationship where it's an unrequited love, the feeling should be damn familiar to you. What's worse is when we don't give Him the attention and affection but turn against Him, cursing Him, denying Him, treating Him like He's only important when there's no one there for you. An equivalent of your lover fucking someone else in front of your eyes despite knowing that you are present. Wow, what cunts we all are.