who knows
I just wrote this who long deep entry that explained how I felt, but LJ is stupid and it didn’t get saved. So I will try again but its just not gonna be the same.
I have been up and down on how I have felt on a few things with Shayna. After my last entry we kinda worked things out and we had a great time on Sunday. I was to the point to where I was gonna tell her something this weekend, or ask her, depends on how you look at it. But now I am just not sure. If there is one thing I actually KNOW I am good at and do a good job at, it is being sensitive. When she asks me not to do something any more or to do something or to change how I do something, I always try my hardest. And I will admit, there may have been once or twice where I did something wrong, I will admit I’m not perfect and I say and do stupid things, but that is normal and I think I do a pretty good job overall.
Tonight something was brought up that kinda bugs me, I have been wanting to tell her for a while now, but thought it sounded stupid (important phone call) and wasn’t worth saying. But I realized it was something I would understand if she told me so I figured she would understand if I told her. She got kinda aggravated and acted like she was either mad or I was asking this huge favor. So I tried to explain it a little more and she just got nasty and got a tone that sounded like she was trying to blow me off. Of course I was kinda upset and didn’t understand why she was acting like that. Those small things just hurt me so much. All those small things added together are what make me get upset or wonder what is going on between us. In my last entry I wrote a lot of thing I am not going to now, I don’t want it to sound like she is this terrible person. I just really hope she will help me and do this for me. We have had lots of talks about little things we need to change and I take them all seriously and think I do a good job of acting them out. I just want her to try a little harder for me that’s all I ask. Help me just a little more and try to b so insensitive sometimes. I am a strong person and don’t let a lot of things get to me but I need help and to be treated a little better sometimes.
I have great news now, just before when I got that important phone call, it was Shayna. She called and the first thing she said was “I’m sorry”. that means so so so so much to me , I love that and I love her. That makes me feel great. Now we can move on. I want to leave this entry happy now. I love Shayna and now I can feel like I did before because I know we are getting better at all of this.
I have been up and down on how I have felt on a few things with Shayna. After my last entry we kinda worked things out and we had a great time on Sunday. I was to the point to where I was gonna tell her something this weekend, or ask her, depends on how you look at it. But now I am just not sure. If there is one thing I actually KNOW I am good at and do a good job at, it is being sensitive. When she asks me not to do something any more or to do something or to change how I do something, I always try my hardest. And I will admit, there may have been once or twice where I did something wrong, I will admit I’m not perfect and I say and do stupid things, but that is normal and I think I do a pretty good job overall.
Tonight something was brought up that kinda bugs me, I have been wanting to tell her for a while now, but thought it sounded stupid (important phone call) and wasn’t worth saying. But I realized it was something I would understand if she told me so I figured she would understand if I told her. She got kinda aggravated and acted like she was either mad or I was asking this huge favor. So I tried to explain it a little more and she just got nasty and got a tone that sounded like she was trying to blow me off. Of course I was kinda upset and didn’t understand why she was acting like that. Those small things just hurt me so much. All those small things added together are what make me get upset or wonder what is going on between us. In my last entry I wrote a lot of thing I am not going to now, I don’t want it to sound like she is this terrible person. I just really hope she will help me and do this for me. We have had lots of talks about little things we need to change and I take them all seriously and think I do a good job of acting them out. I just want her to try a little harder for me that’s all I ask. Help me just a little more and try to b so insensitive sometimes. I am a strong person and don’t let a lot of things get to me but I need help and to be treated a little better sometimes.
I have great news now, just before when I got that important phone call, it was Shayna. She called and the first thing she said was “I’m sorry”. that means so so so so much to me , I love that and I love her. That makes me feel great. Now we can move on. I want to leave this entry happy now. I love Shayna and now I can feel like I did before because I know we are getting better at all of this.