Part 1 of 3.
So in an attempt to view my current situation without feeling over whelmed by it, I'm doing this in 3 stages. First and most meandering will be this; why I left AZ and moved back to Tyler of all the forsaken places in existence, and what has happened since.
Second will be my current situation as I see it. Then I will follow with what I'm really good at but never can seem to turn on myself which is a blunt review of the stated facts and ways I think I can turn them around. I'm doing this in a hope I can have an 'aha' moment, and that the depression which has been settling on me since November can be reversed.
The third part is more for me, but hey feel free to point out my Irrelevant Conclusion's and other fallacies.
I've been kind of regretting it, but the reasons just keep changing. Which is good - my regret for leaving the state in the first place has never shifted, so I feel somewhat justified in my decision now even if I'm under-certain of its eventual outcome.
I think the angst I'm going through has to deal with moving to a new location with few/no social connections, combined with my own awkwardness at establishing connections. Hooray for being unable to judge the extent to which other people are comfortable talking to you, and thus the approriateness of comments you might make. :|
The biggest things I miss about PHX so far are my friends, followed by the support group I attended. It was nice to have a place of solidarity, something Tyler lacks for me.
The first few months back where a nice break from the last 3 years. It was nice not being stressed about work or feel alienated from the family. Then my brother got out of the happy house, and tried his damnedest to get back in there. His family can generate so much drama if there was a way to harness the power Texas could go green off hillbilly electricity.
I'm working in hell again, cable technical support. Its nice to have a job where the direct supervisors care about you as much as they dare, and the management is just out for numbers. Oh wait, no its not. In a pleasant change of place the manager of the call center seems to recognize that going out of the way to make employee's miserable. They do go out of their way to make work as fun as it can be.
The other current situation is the 'boyfriend'. I have a habit of not telling people to step off, and this one is a dozy. I'm honestly afraid to break up with him because he's that depressed. *crosses fingers* Today I'll tell him. It's not fair to him, but like I said I don't want to be the one to push him over the edge. This guy is a country song.
Second will be my current situation as I see it. Then I will follow with what I'm really good at but never can seem to turn on myself which is a blunt review of the stated facts and ways I think I can turn them around. I'm doing this in a hope I can have an 'aha' moment, and that the depression which has been settling on me since November can be reversed.
The third part is more for me, but hey feel free to point out my Irrelevant Conclusion's and other fallacies.
I've been kind of regretting it, but the reasons just keep changing. Which is good - my regret for leaving the state in the first place has never shifted, so I feel somewhat justified in my decision now even if I'm under-certain of its eventual outcome.
I think the angst I'm going through has to deal with moving to a new location with few/no social connections, combined with my own awkwardness at establishing connections. Hooray for being unable to judge the extent to which other people are comfortable talking to you, and thus the approriateness of comments you might make. :|
The biggest things I miss about PHX so far are my friends, followed by the support group I attended. It was nice to have a place of solidarity, something Tyler lacks for me.
The first few months back where a nice break from the last 3 years. It was nice not being stressed about work or feel alienated from the family. Then my brother got out of the happy house, and tried his damnedest to get back in there. His family can generate so much drama if there was a way to harness the power Texas could go green off hillbilly electricity.
I'm working in hell again, cable technical support. Its nice to have a job where the direct supervisors care about you as much as they dare, and the management is just out for numbers. Oh wait, no its not. In a pleasant change of place the manager of the call center seems to recognize that going out of the way to make employee's miserable. They do go out of their way to make work as fun as it can be.
The other current situation is the 'boyfriend'. I have a habit of not telling people to step off, and this one is a dozy. I'm honestly afraid to break up with him because he's that depressed. *crosses fingers* Today I'll tell him. It's not fair to him, but like I said I don't want to be the one to push him over the edge. This guy is a country song.