2021
Oh man...where do I begin? 2020 was quite a nightmare with the whole pandemic fiasco that’s still going on. Despite feeling trapped at a job I hate, I’m grateful to have a job right now but still trying to find a new one. It takes a lot of work to look for a new job so it something I can only do every so often before I become emotionally exhausted - it was easier when I had more energy and not bogged down so much with depression.
On a positive note, at the beginning of the year I got my personal training certification which is cool but useless during a pandemic...especially when you’re just starting out. So I’m glad to have that but I’m at a loss of how to even get started right now, it’s also just so much work to change career fields (customer service is not a career but it’s what I’ve been stuck doing for years so that groove is pretty deep), and again it’s hard to facilitate change when you’re stressed/depressed. But I’m trying. I also took a medical coding class as a back up but turns out you gotta get certified for that too bad the exam is like $500 and I’m really not sure how much time I wanna dedicate to making that into a career or even as a back up career.
I’m frustrated to say the least. But I’m hoping this year I can finally find a better job that pays similarly and isn’t on the phones. I’m trying to figure out goals for this year and really I mostly just want to lose the fat weight I put on since gyms have been closed. It’s difficult to stay motivated at times, but I’m trying. I got sone new material for my personal training stuff that I need to crack open and hopefully it’ll help me become a better trainer.
Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to stay as sane as possible by going out walking or hiking by myself or with Ric. Podcasts and watching a lot of comfort TV/movies has helped a lot, like The Office and Seinfeld. Video games help blow off a lot of steam too. I recently started playing Red Dead Online which turned out to be more fun than I thought, I don’t usually like online games. But if I can play with my friends it’s great, I even enjoy doing it alone too.
Ric and I have gotten into this TV show called The Expanse which I’ve really taken to. I love it so much and I can’t get enough of it, it’s been a very excellent new escape for me. It’s an amazing show and I’m trying to get everyone else I know to watch it so I can talk about it with everyone. In addition to that, it’s helped me discover some new actors who I really like and that’s opened up new doors to movies and stuff I probably wouldn’t have watched otherwise. I recently got down on a movie called Life Like, which seems like an average, run-of-the-mill movie about robots who learn how to have emotions...which, I love that kind of shit, very Philip K. Dick. This movie, however, turned out to be so much better than I could have ever expected. So I’m trying to make everyone I know watch it now. It was so good! The final scene in the movie is stuck in my head. It was very powerful and emotional, I don’t often feel like I wanna cry during movies but this one definitely got me close!
It’s been almost, of not more than, 3 months since I’ve seen my bf. Social distancing has been tough. I’m not a super social person so at first it wasn’t difficult for me to just not interact with people. But after almost a year of no friends and barely seeing Mason, it’s really starting to add up. Just trying to find more ways to manage and cope with my stress and depression.
I’d like to think that if I can find a different job that pays well enough and isn’t also the same thing I’m already doing that a great deal of my negativity will be eliminated. But if that ever happens, I guess we shall see.
I’m trying to set up new goals for this year which are really just like eating better and trying to exercise more effectively. Not going to a real gym and trying to build a gym of my own in my room has been a bit to get used to. But it works okay, but I’m definitely fatter and weaker than I was last year and I hate that. But maybe this year I can get back to where I was. We shall see.
Anyway, that’s just a short update for now. I wanna try to use this more this year but we shall see if I can get back into the routine of using LJ.
On a positive note, at the beginning of the year I got my personal training certification which is cool but useless during a pandemic...especially when you’re just starting out. So I’m glad to have that but I’m at a loss of how to even get started right now, it’s also just so much work to change career fields (customer service is not a career but it’s what I’ve been stuck doing for years so that groove is pretty deep), and again it’s hard to facilitate change when you’re stressed/depressed. But I’m trying. I also took a medical coding class as a back up but turns out you gotta get certified for that too bad the exam is like $500 and I’m really not sure how much time I wanna dedicate to making that into a career or even as a back up career.
I’m frustrated to say the least. But I’m hoping this year I can finally find a better job that pays similarly and isn’t on the phones. I’m trying to figure out goals for this year and really I mostly just want to lose the fat weight I put on since gyms have been closed. It’s difficult to stay motivated at times, but I’m trying. I got sone new material for my personal training stuff that I need to crack open and hopefully it’ll help me become a better trainer.
Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to stay as sane as possible by going out walking or hiking by myself or with Ric. Podcasts and watching a lot of comfort TV/movies has helped a lot, like The Office and Seinfeld. Video games help blow off a lot of steam too. I recently started playing Red Dead Online which turned out to be more fun than I thought, I don’t usually like online games. But if I can play with my friends it’s great, I even enjoy doing it alone too.
Ric and I have gotten into this TV show called The Expanse which I’ve really taken to. I love it so much and I can’t get enough of it, it’s been a very excellent new escape for me. It’s an amazing show and I’m trying to get everyone else I know to watch it so I can talk about it with everyone. In addition to that, it’s helped me discover some new actors who I really like and that’s opened up new doors to movies and stuff I probably wouldn’t have watched otherwise. I recently got down on a movie called Life Like, which seems like an average, run-of-the-mill movie about robots who learn how to have emotions...which, I love that kind of shit, very Philip K. Dick. This movie, however, turned out to be so much better than I could have ever expected. So I’m trying to make everyone I know watch it now. It was so good! The final scene in the movie is stuck in my head. It was very powerful and emotional, I don’t often feel like I wanna cry during movies but this one definitely got me close!
It’s been almost, of not more than, 3 months since I’ve seen my bf. Social distancing has been tough. I’m not a super social person so at first it wasn’t difficult for me to just not interact with people. But after almost a year of no friends and barely seeing Mason, it’s really starting to add up. Just trying to find more ways to manage and cope with my stress and depression.
I’d like to think that if I can find a different job that pays well enough and isn’t also the same thing I’m already doing that a great deal of my negativity will be eliminated. But if that ever happens, I guess we shall see.
I’m trying to set up new goals for this year which are really just like eating better and trying to exercise more effectively. Not going to a real gym and trying to build a gym of my own in my room has been a bit to get used to. But it works okay, but I’m definitely fatter and weaker than I was last year and I hate that. But maybe this year I can get back to where I was. We shall see.
Anyway, that’s just a short update for now. I wanna try to use this more this year but we shall see if I can get back into the routine of using LJ.