i'm a passivist, leave me alone.
ok so the clinicians came to jazz band tonight, and i guess that's pretty cool, but it just convinced me even more that i suck at playing instruments, i mean sure, yeah i can mediocrely play a few things, but overall i'm really not that great.
i've been in such a weird mood lately, possibly because i'm pmsing or something, but being sad sucks. i mean i just come home everyday to sit there and think "why am i not doing anything productive or cool"...and when you're own mother buys you a book about "being dateable" it's sort of a smack in the face. i feel like a loser sometimes, but never have time to try and fix my own problems because i'm so worried about how others are doing. i'm such a motherly figure and i can't help it. i think that was my purpose in life anyway. agh. i hate fucking not making it as anything, it's not fun just being mediocre. i'd rather be really good at something and crappy at everything else. at least i could say that's something i'm amazing at.
i've held back the tears so many times i'm just waiting for the day i pop. this isn't a cry for help, i don't need help from anyone, because as soon as you start to trust someone they let you down. i hate being gullible like that. and it hurts every time. god and music are sometimes the only thing i'll ever have.
i miss my sister so much my heart pains, she know exactly what i need. she is the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm going to miss her once she decides to get married and move far, far away.
and now that there are tears are on the stupid keypad, i'm gonna go because being on your period sucks so much, so if you happened to be a guy be happy yo don't have to be so emotional and not even know why you are this way.
i've been in such a weird mood lately, possibly because i'm pmsing or something, but being sad sucks. i mean i just come home everyday to sit there and think "why am i not doing anything productive or cool"...and when you're own mother buys you a book about "being dateable" it's sort of a smack in the face. i feel like a loser sometimes, but never have time to try and fix my own problems because i'm so worried about how others are doing. i'm such a motherly figure and i can't help it. i think that was my purpose in life anyway. agh. i hate fucking not making it as anything, it's not fun just being mediocre. i'd rather be really good at something and crappy at everything else. at least i could say that's something i'm amazing at.
i've held back the tears so many times i'm just waiting for the day i pop. this isn't a cry for help, i don't need help from anyone, because as soon as you start to trust someone they let you down. i hate being gullible like that. and it hurts every time. god and music are sometimes the only thing i'll ever have.
i miss my sister so much my heart pains, she know exactly what i need. she is the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm going to miss her once she decides to get married and move far, far away.
and now that there are tears are on the stupid keypad, i'm gonna go because being on your period sucks so much, so if you happened to be a guy be happy yo don't have to be so emotional and not even know why you are this way.