"넌 언제쯤 철들래?"
there is this saying in korean that when translated into english would sound something like "to become seasoned". not as in seasoned with spices, but seasoned like the four seasons. it means to have matured mentally and become wiser/more realistic in thinking...
it's a very common word so when i was younger i used to hear it a lot in the context of "you are not seasoned". or something along those lines. and back then i had no clue what that meant. i remember that when i became a teenager i suddenly gained the capacity to be able to think in other people's shoes and that amazed me wonderfully because i had pretty much never done that before in my life. i don't know if other people were selfish brats like i was as a kid but i was a little shit and learning compassion was something big for me. and i thought that was some huge milestone in becoming seasoned. (?)
i think i may be slow at maturing (i have heard that more than once) than many other people my age but nowadays i hear more of this saying when people tell me that i am seasoned. which probably means i am not as mature as i think i am because if i really was mature they wouldn't have to comment that i became mature. if you get what i mean.
but i do feel pretty weird when i realize some changes in my thought processes. like learning to ignore things selectively and tolerating what i don't want in order to acquire another part of the greater picture. i feel like my adolescence was spent generating too much stress and drama for nobody. even the things that i thought i was just in doing back then are actually not in retrospect. i thought i was not participating in the usual high school drama and whatnot but i was still generating all kinds of needless conflict. i got hurt easily because i didn't know how to filter things out. i didn't know what in moderation meant. etc.
and then there is the "more realistic" part of it. where life becomes a little bit more dull because 99% of all those inane childhood dreams are going to stop at just that. dreams. i think i was in denial of it throughout college. i feel like the realization tried to dawn on me several times but i just hid from it until i got backed into a corner. and then i threw tantrums because life did not let me have it all. but anyway. that is too much greed. i have my hands full with 1% for now so i try not to bemoan the other 99%. learning not to regret those is a part of the process, i think.
it's a very common word so when i was younger i used to hear it a lot in the context of "you are not seasoned". or something along those lines. and back then i had no clue what that meant. i remember that when i became a teenager i suddenly gained the capacity to be able to think in other people's shoes and that amazed me wonderfully because i had pretty much never done that before in my life. i don't know if other people were selfish brats like i was as a kid but i was a little shit and learning compassion was something big for me. and i thought that was some huge milestone in becoming seasoned. (?)
i think i may be slow at maturing (i have heard that more than once) than many other people my age but nowadays i hear more of this saying when people tell me that i am seasoned. which probably means i am not as mature as i think i am because if i really was mature they wouldn't have to comment that i became mature. if you get what i mean.
but i do feel pretty weird when i realize some changes in my thought processes. like learning to ignore things selectively and tolerating what i don't want in order to acquire another part of the greater picture. i feel like my adolescence was spent generating too much stress and drama for nobody. even the things that i thought i was just in doing back then are actually not in retrospect. i thought i was not participating in the usual high school drama and whatnot but i was still generating all kinds of needless conflict. i got hurt easily because i didn't know how to filter things out. i didn't know what in moderation meant. etc.
and then there is the "more realistic" part of it. where life becomes a little bit more dull because 99% of all those inane childhood dreams are going to stop at just that. dreams. i think i was in denial of it throughout college. i feel like the realization tried to dawn on me several times but i just hid from it until i got backed into a corner. and then i threw tantrums because life did not let me have it all. but anyway. that is too much greed. i have my hands full with 1% for now so i try not to bemoan the other 99%. learning not to regret those is a part of the process, i think.