Abnormal enigma.

[xylzr]

I am not afraid of being sick or getting sick anymore.
I'm afraid of the pain of long procedures.
I'm afraid of the infections and emergency action because "something went wrong".
I'm afraid of bed rest.
I'm afraid of surgery.
I'm afraid of feeling dizzy and vomiting in shallow pales.
I'm afraid of stiches and gauze.
I'm afraid of blood transfusions.
I'm afraid to tell people how terrified i am.
I'm afraid of my pain falling on deaf ears.
I'm afraid people are going to look at my troubles as their inconvenience.
I'm afraid that even if im ok today, what will i be a year from now.
I'm afraid my biggest fear is growing inside me and will eventually make its move.

I'm afraid the doctors who told me i was going to die young were right.
Even though i know their wrong.