i've got to fold cause these hands are too shaky to hold.
i have this overwhelming feeling of depression. I dont know why. This is horrible. the only thing i can think about is Anthony. I feel like i dont know what to do when he's not in my life. If i can't get through this week of him being away and I can't see him, how is this going to be when i cant see him 90% of my regular life.
I can't imagine my life without him. I've never felt this way before and i never will for anyone ever again. I know this. He is the one and I know i sound crazy for saying it, but he is. The one.
I'm in love, but somehow love doesn't describe the way i feel. I don't know what else to do. I just want to talk to him all the time when i cant see his face. I'm scared.
I'm scared, even though I have so much confidence in what we have.
I was talking to Uncle Buck today, he's 80 something years old and he's my grandfather's brother. He is perhaps the second wisest man i've ever met, besides my grandfather of course. Well, he was telling me what happened when he met his wife. And he said that when she died, he had made so many amazing memories with her that it was as if she was still there when he missed her. He said when he missed her he would think about the memories, and it would bring her back.
He also said that when he met her it was magic. He said every moment was magic after that. He said "Amanda, when you meet the right person, it will feel magical." I smiled and nodded my head. I was trying to hold back the tears in my throat because i knew in my heart that i already feel magic everyday. Everyday with my love is magical, and i know that if i spend my life like that-- no matter what I do-- i'll be happy. And he made me content. He said "People underestimate love. Love is what makes life sweet." He told me that i was a beautiful girl and that i better do a good job finding that perfect somebody. I thought it was ironic. I was smiling to him and thinking about my Anthony. That was my sign. that was my sign from god that this is all falling into place.
The fates wouldn't have made Buck say those things if it wasn't supposed to strike a chord with me, because everyone, including god probably knows that uncle buck and grandpa are the people who i trust most. Always have been. They are the most genuine men and even thought they are in their old age, i take everything they say to heart and keep it there. Anyway, that was my sign that everythingshouldbealright.
I'll never forget the first time i saw him. He was wearing his red shirt. Playing guitar. I knew he was dana's friend and she took me to sit right in front of the stage so we all could see him play. I never felt that way before and i thought it might have just been because i haven't seen a cute boy in a while. As i listened to his words, and listened to his playing, before i ever met him i felt our souls connect. Sounds corny and sappy. But its true. I knew i had to have him in my life. I met him and put on my pretty eyes when dana introduced us. i thought i'd never have a chance with him. Ever. but a couple months later one thing led to another. We fell in love.
I believe. I believe in love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe in soul mates. And i believe in strong people and relationships.
I trust again. and I love for the very first time.
I can't imagine my life without him. I've never felt this way before and i never will for anyone ever again. I know this. He is the one and I know i sound crazy for saying it, but he is. The one.
I'm in love, but somehow love doesn't describe the way i feel. I don't know what else to do. I just want to talk to him all the time when i cant see his face. I'm scared.
I'm scared, even though I have so much confidence in what we have.
I was talking to Uncle Buck today, he's 80 something years old and he's my grandfather's brother. He is perhaps the second wisest man i've ever met, besides my grandfather of course. Well, he was telling me what happened when he met his wife. And he said that when she died, he had made so many amazing memories with her that it was as if she was still there when he missed her. He said when he missed her he would think about the memories, and it would bring her back.
He also said that when he met her it was magic. He said every moment was magic after that. He said "Amanda, when you meet the right person, it will feel magical." I smiled and nodded my head. I was trying to hold back the tears in my throat because i knew in my heart that i already feel magic everyday. Everyday with my love is magical, and i know that if i spend my life like that-- no matter what I do-- i'll be happy. And he made me content. He said "People underestimate love. Love is what makes life sweet." He told me that i was a beautiful girl and that i better do a good job finding that perfect somebody. I thought it was ironic. I was smiling to him and thinking about my Anthony. That was my sign. that was my sign from god that this is all falling into place.
The fates wouldn't have made Buck say those things if it wasn't supposed to strike a chord with me, because everyone, including god probably knows that uncle buck and grandpa are the people who i trust most. Always have been. They are the most genuine men and even thought they are in their old age, i take everything they say to heart and keep it there. Anyway, that was my sign that everythingshouldbealright.
I'll never forget the first time i saw him. He was wearing his red shirt. Playing guitar. I knew he was dana's friend and she took me to sit right in front of the stage so we all could see him play. I never felt that way before and i thought it might have just been because i haven't seen a cute boy in a while. As i listened to his words, and listened to his playing, before i ever met him i felt our souls connect. Sounds corny and sappy. But its true. I knew i had to have him in my life. I met him and put on my pretty eyes when dana introduced us. i thought i'd never have a chance with him. Ever. but a couple months later one thing led to another. We fell in love.
I believe. I believe in love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe in soul mates. And i believe in strong people and relationships.
I trust again. and I love for the very first time.