(no subject)
welcome to regents week....that one week in januaray where us high school kids get to take some time off from school for a week...It would almost be bliss, except i have regents on wednesday and have to work three days this week....so basically my vacation is this friday >.>; better than nothing i suppose. I wouldnt mind going outside if it wasnt so damn cold....ive seriously started to hate the cold more this year, i hate being cold and going outside in the cold and im seriously thinking about moving to florida one day....
ok so today i noticed something about myself...or rather i noticed it more, having been aware of it for a while now...and that is....that im pretty sure im not gonna be having kids when i grow up. Its a big deal only because i used to be one of those pple who'd sit around and talk to their friends about what they're gonna name their kids and how they would look and all that....but....i dont want kids anymore. I was over at my mom's work today looking after a three and five year old and for a while a one year old (who wouldnt stop crying because he missed my mother so....) because she had to go out for a bit...and i just wasnt into playing or talking to them. I just sat there while they ran up and down chasing their cat =\ And then they decide to hit me with pillows and bite me...HIGHLY annoying....jumping all over me, talking, asking questions....JUMPING ALL OVER ME....Now its not that they are bad kids or anything, they're just regular hyper children....i just didnt want to play or romp around or even read to them. Now i might sound cruel....but its not like i was ignoring them, i tried...but i think i'm too moody to handle kids of my own....sometimes i'll be playful, other times i wont want to play with them at all. Im not drawing these conclusions based on the fact that its other pple's kids and hey i might feel diff about my own....i just know i wont, knowing myself and how my moods change....so i think im better off without the kiddies, and they're prolly better off without me.....
i wonder if ive made much sense.....
ok so today i noticed something about myself...or rather i noticed it more, having been aware of it for a while now...and that is....that im pretty sure im not gonna be having kids when i grow up. Its a big deal only because i used to be one of those pple who'd sit around and talk to their friends about what they're gonna name their kids and how they would look and all that....but....i dont want kids anymore. I was over at my mom's work today looking after a three and five year old and for a while a one year old (who wouldnt stop crying because he missed my mother so....) because she had to go out for a bit...and i just wasnt into playing or talking to them. I just sat there while they ran up and down chasing their cat =\ And then they decide to hit me with pillows and bite me...HIGHLY annoying....jumping all over me, talking, asking questions....JUMPING ALL OVER ME....Now its not that they are bad kids or anything, they're just regular hyper children....i just didnt want to play or romp around or even read to them. Now i might sound cruel....but its not like i was ignoring them, i tried...but i think i'm too moody to handle kids of my own....sometimes i'll be playful, other times i wont want to play with them at all. Im not drawing these conclusions based on the fact that its other pple's kids and hey i might feel diff about my own....i just know i wont, knowing myself and how my moods change....so i think im better off without the kiddies, and they're prolly better off without me.....
i wonder if ive made much sense.....