my whole life has changed
So besides the whole, crying in the High Grounds bathroom hysterically looking like a retard.
Yesterday went pretty awesome.
I mean, it was my best friends birthday. I couldn't put a damper on that.
But my horoscope was dangerously accurate.
And I hate it.
I guess for the first time I see the light at the end of the tunnel?
I've been holding myself back from so many people.
So many great experiences.
Just to stay wrecked and jealous like THIS?
Preston was right the whole time.
And when I needed him most last night.
He was there. To talk me through that horrible situation I once blamed myself for.
But now I know that my whole entire life begins now.
Everything looks different.
I can actually look at boys in interest.
Or finally let myself be loved by someone else.
Without him.
I can fall in love again and maybe get married to someone with respect.
You see, I lost alot of really important people this year.
Got some back. Carly. Max. and I'm super happy.
But I can not. CAN NOT be friends with this certain boy.
Regardless of what I told my Aunt Audrey, of what I swore to my parents, of what my sister promised would happened, of what Preston promised wouldn't happend, of what I FELT IN MY HEART AND MY WHOLE ENTIRE SOUL, of what Jessica helped me figure out.
I'm making my OWN decition.
And this is the, literally, biggest desition of my life.
It's about finding someone.
Finding someone better.
Preston knew what he was saying the whole time.
We're so young. We NEED these experiences to function in the future.
We NEED to life. our lives.
And I NEED to stop complaining to him about this boy and what he does to me.
I guess thats check one.
So a whole year was wasted waiting on you.
I was going crazy, but I'm getting better.
Without you.
So I thank
Jessica. for making me find out the hard way what I wanted. and for always being there when I needed to talk.
Preston. for my obnactious screams of uncertainty every single morning. and the calls where you ALWAYS knew what to say.
Including this time. which meant the most. You made me find out for myself. And you're never. wrong.
Olivia. for not being mad when I was crying on your birthday. I tried my best. I really did. You understand everything and you knew I was wrong about him. And you tried to stop me. I need to listen to you more.
No. we CAN'T be friends.
So, I'll be distant.
My heart's been wasted on you.
Yesterday went pretty awesome.
I mean, it was my best friends birthday. I couldn't put a damper on that.
But my horoscope was dangerously accurate.
And I hate it.
I guess for the first time I see the light at the end of the tunnel?
I've been holding myself back from so many people.
So many great experiences.
Just to stay wrecked and jealous like THIS?
Preston was right the whole time.
And when I needed him most last night.
He was there. To talk me through that horrible situation I once blamed myself for.
But now I know that my whole entire life begins now.
Everything looks different.
I can actually look at boys in interest.
Or finally let myself be loved by someone else.
Without him.
I can fall in love again and maybe get married to someone with respect.
You see, I lost alot of really important people this year.
Got some back. Carly. Max. and I'm super happy.
But I can not. CAN NOT be friends with this certain boy.
Regardless of what I told my Aunt Audrey, of what I swore to my parents, of what my sister promised would happened, of what Preston promised wouldn't happend, of what I FELT IN MY HEART AND MY WHOLE ENTIRE SOUL, of what Jessica helped me figure out.
I'm making my OWN decition.
And this is the, literally, biggest desition of my life.
It's about finding someone.
Finding someone better.
Preston knew what he was saying the whole time.
We're so young. We NEED these experiences to function in the future.
We NEED to life. our lives.
And I NEED to stop complaining to him about this boy and what he does to me.
I guess thats check one.
So a whole year was wasted waiting on you.
I was going crazy, but I'm getting better.
Without you.
So I thank
Jessica. for making me find out the hard way what I wanted. and for always being there when I needed to talk.
Preston. for my obnactious screams of uncertainty every single morning. and the calls where you ALWAYS knew what to say.
Including this time. which meant the most. You made me find out for myself. And you're never. wrong.
Olivia. for not being mad when I was crying on your birthday. I tried my best. I really did. You understand everything and you knew I was wrong about him. And you tried to stop me. I need to listen to you more.
No. we CAN'T be friends.
So, I'll be distant.
My heart's been wasted on you.