i'm speaking figaratively, of course
It feels like it's been forever since I've updated.
I have been bombarded with school work and exhaust took my writing away.
Regardless, I'm still messed up and destructable.
I saved the text message Jesse sent me when we were fighting.
And he told me everything he hated about me.
And let me quote.
"I don't like people who like to lead people on. You see, no ones perfect but if theres a problem why can't you just fix it?"
That about like 1/20 of the whole message btw.
But getting back on track.
I DO lead people on.
But the thing is, I don't even REALIZE it.
I'm nice to boys just like I am with girls.
Boys just take it to another level
And I know I've written countless entries about me wanting a boyfriend.
But it's not even THAT.
I just want Jesse.
There I said it.
I cannot. will not. date ANYONE unless it's him.
Thank God he's lazy and won't read this because I'd feel retarded.
But it's ridiculously true. and everyone knows it.
I need to tell James I don't want anything from him.
I'm SORRY I lead him on in the first place.
Just like Nick.
I'm SORRY.
And another thing I'm trying to get off my chest.
I think I lost 2 out of 4 best friends.
Because of THEIR stupid desitions.
I'm not taking blame at all for this.
God, it's so hard to relate to the whole human race.
BUT!
I'm reading and I won't stop and It's the best book I've read in a WHILE.
AND!
I tryed out for volleyball yesterday and today.
I hope I make it.
(I'm taking back everything I ever said.
Every thing deserves a second chance)
I have been bombarded with school work and exhaust took my writing away.
Regardless, I'm still messed up and destructable.
I saved the text message Jesse sent me when we were fighting.
And he told me everything he hated about me.
And let me quote.
"I don't like people who like to lead people on. You see, no ones perfect but if theres a problem why can't you just fix it?"
That about like 1/20 of the whole message btw.
But getting back on track.
I DO lead people on.
But the thing is, I don't even REALIZE it.
I'm nice to boys just like I am with girls.
Boys just take it to another level
And I know I've written countless entries about me wanting a boyfriend.
But it's not even THAT.
I just want Jesse.
There I said it.
I cannot. will not. date ANYONE unless it's him.
Thank God he's lazy and won't read this because I'd feel retarded.
But it's ridiculously true. and everyone knows it.
I need to tell James I don't want anything from him.
I'm SORRY I lead him on in the first place.
Just like Nick.
I'm SORRY.
And another thing I'm trying to get off my chest.
I think I lost 2 out of 4 best friends.
Because of THEIR stupid desitions.
I'm not taking blame at all for this.
God, it's so hard to relate to the whole human race.
BUT!
I'm reading and I won't stop and It's the best book I've read in a WHILE.
AND!
I tryed out for volleyball yesterday and today.
I hope I make it.
(I'm taking back everything I ever said.
Every thing deserves a second chance)