App post
Character Tabitha Smith
Series Nextwave
Age 21
Canon:
Nextwave is Warren Ellis. Satirical, clever and with all those Marvel heroes you thought were just obnoxious wastes of space on wikipedia. Nextwave is peppered with horrifying villains like Dirk Anger, naked ninjas, The Homosexuality, Broccoli-robot-men and flesh eating koala bears.
Tabitha Smith in particular is a mutant who has the ability to blow shit up. And take all your stuff. Additionally psychics hate her because she's immune to their mind altering drugs powers. She's so stupid there's not enough mind to read or alter. She actually uses words like 'zomg'. As for blowing shit up, she makes 'time bombs' which look like really nifty smoky-yellow-beams and often counts down with 'tick, tick, tick, boom' but it isn't necessary for detonation.
For Tabitha 'Like' is not just a filler, it's a way of life. XXXX is a multipurpose word for all situations. (XXXX is not just a censoring tool, it's a sledgehammer of justice and morality, preventing your children from picking up bad words, one speech bubble at a time. Censoring tools on gratuitous violence and cleavage sold separately.)
Notes: Elsa Bloodstone is a) English and b) a member of Nextwave with Tabitha usually referenced by ethnicity. Monica Rambeau is the mostly leader of Nextwave, because she used to run with the Avengers, who are the superhero team everyone aspires to be, you know.
Sample Post
You're doing it wrong. "Camp XXXX You Die" is such false advertising. I see camp. I see die (and ew). What I don't see is any XXXX. What's a girl got to do to get some service around here? I hate to break it to you, but, like, I haven't seen this much gay since... well... The Homosexuality. And he was pretty damn gay.
'Go kill the undead villain-man, Tabby. Take the English XXXX with you. Did I mention I used to be part of the Avengers? He's in Louisiana. Blah blah blah Avengers blah blah I once ironed Captain America's pants blah blah.' Thanks Monica. Your plan broke, I haven't seen the English XXXX since before we crossed the state border, even I don't take that long to pee.
Speaking of peeing, which way to the ladies' room? Like, a girl can only hold a Super Size Plus Endorsement drink for so long. I'll just follow the signs. This one says 'Mess Hall' so I guess I don't have to, like, clean up after. Man, these signs are handy...SHIT! A sign in European! How will I read it!? Though, if I reckon rightly, this sign is in, like, Canadian. ...there are Canadians in Louisiana? The French have invaded the South! ZOMG! This just makes the South, like, a really sucky country. More of a really sucky country. Quick, while the French-Canadians are distracted, I claim this country in the name of America! Ha, take that, you European XXXXs.
Alright, listen up surrender-monkeys! Resistance is not-cool. Your fancy Jedi hand motions won't, like, work on me. Louisiana is, from now on, forever part of America and you cannot stop me. Your talking-in-the-head birds do nothing because I am clever. Your still-walking-dead-guys do nothing because I can blow them up. Tick, tick, tick, BOOM.
Voting 84.1~