(no subject)
Ive been having a splended time lately. I stoped smoking so much pot...but that was only for a week cuz my body was to sick and week to do antyhing. I also am trying to quite smoking...again. Yes its my third time, but i dont have any motivation to quite. Its just like "oh i feel like quiting"...and then i quit for like a month...or a few weeks. My body feels like shit on the inside. Thats why i stoped everything for like a week. I felt like i was just gonna shut down or somthing. Just colapse into anything. But that dosnt stop me from enjoying everthing till the end.
I know somthing bad is going to happen. But i keep trying to hold on to this. Because it makes me happy...for now. It makes me forget, like it used to. But somthing bad is going to happen, i can feel it. And im going to be left, hurt. So i just ignore all the feelings and go on pretending it will never happen, because for now...im happy. And i like it like that.
This is why i hate feelings...somtimes. I just think to much into things, and even though i know i should listen to these feelings, this energy. Because i can feel it, because i know its real.I should take advantige of the things i can do and the things i so strongly beleave in. I just dont know what to do with all of it.
Although i do love it to death. I love being able to read so deeply into people and them not even noticing it. Maby its weird that i like that. I love the energy, and i dont no what i would do without it. I just wish i understood it better.
Sorry for this long entry that no one will read and it will just waste space...im just bored...and i tend to think to much when im bored. And like the energy, i dont know what to do with my thoughts. So i write them here.
~When your eye iches, Do you scratch it?
I know somthing bad is going to happen. But i keep trying to hold on to this. Because it makes me happy...for now. It makes me forget, like it used to. But somthing bad is going to happen, i can feel it. And im going to be left, hurt. So i just ignore all the feelings and go on pretending it will never happen, because for now...im happy. And i like it like that.
This is why i hate feelings...somtimes. I just think to much into things, and even though i know i should listen to these feelings, this energy. Because i can feel it, because i know its real.I should take advantige of the things i can do and the things i so strongly beleave in. I just dont know what to do with all of it.
Although i do love it to death. I love being able to read so deeply into people and them not even noticing it. Maby its weird that i like that. I love the energy, and i dont no what i would do without it. I just wish i understood it better.
Sorry for this long entry that no one will read and it will just waste space...im just bored...and i tend to think to much when im bored. And like the energy, i dont know what to do with my thoughts. So i write them here.
~When your eye iches, Do you scratch it?