i am sick of being a strong person...because inside i am not this is like killing me...i am sik of things changing! i want him to go bak to being my best friend
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I'm so sorry that you're hurting this much Hailee... I wish I could do more to make it better... But no matter what advice anyone gives you, you have the ultimate decision on what to do next... I hope you decide to take assertive action, and work on making things better, or moving on.
I know how hard it is, hun. I've been there... Wait, I'll get something from my diary...
"Man, I feel like crying all the time... It hurts so much that I lost him as my best friend, but I can't deal with it... I can't handle being his friend anymore...
F*ck, I'm always gonna like him like that... Even if its just a bit and I hate it cause it makes everything so freakin' hard... I just don't want him in my life anymore... Well, I do... But I can't...
...
I was hardly talking on the phone, and he was like "whats WRONG Anchenzo?" and then saying crap like "can I see you when I get home? I miss you"... I HATE being picked up and dropped like this... I'm not letting him do it anymore..."
And... "I miss him so much, I wish we could be friends again... It sucks without him... But he pushed me away, so I'm staying away...
I'm hoping going "cold turkey" and not talking to him or seeing him for a few weeks will get him out of my head faster. I need to give up on the idea that things will go back to how they were. Hoping is just gonna mess me up. I need to be realistic, and focus on other areas of my life.
At the moment, thats a really hard thing to do... I think about him all the time, and the stoopidest little things remind me of him...
I sound like such a retard writing all this... Why can't I just get over him?... I hate that someone else has so much influence over the way I feel... I don't like being out of control...
I feel like crying when I think about what I've lost with him.... Not the boyfriend stuff... The friend stuff.... He was my best friend, he understood me, and made me laugh and he was there for me...
I used to be so defensive of him... I'd get pissed off at anyone who hurt him.
Now I want him to get hurt, so he can feel what he made me feel."
I totally know where you're coming from hunni... I hope you feel better soon. Try and focus on the positive, and move forward, rather than digging yourself into a hole. I'm always here if ya need me! Love ya! (I'll note your other entries after work) xXx
I know how hard it is, hun. I've been there... Wait, I'll get something from my diary...
"Man, I feel like crying all the time... It hurts so much that I lost him as my best friend, but I can't deal with it... I can't handle being his friend anymore...
F*ck, I'm always gonna like him like that... Even if its just a bit and I hate it cause it makes everything so freakin' hard... I just don't want him in my life anymore... Well, I do... But I can't...
...
I was hardly talking on the phone, and he was like "whats WRONG Anchenzo?" and then saying crap like "can I see you when I get home? I miss you"... I HATE being picked up and dropped like this... I'm not letting him do it anymore..."
And...
"I miss him so much, I wish we could be friends again... It sucks without him... But he pushed me away, so I'm staying away...
I'm hoping going "cold turkey" and not talking to him or seeing him for a few weeks will get him out of my head faster. I need to give up on the idea that things will go back to how they were. Hoping is just gonna mess me up. I need to be realistic, and focus on other areas of my life.
At the moment, thats a really hard thing to do... I think about him all the time, and the stoopidest little things remind me of him...
I sound like such a retard writing all this... Why can't I just get over him?... I hate that someone else has so much influence over the way I feel... I don't like being out of control...
I feel like crying when I think about what I've lost with him.... Not the boyfriend stuff... The friend stuff.... He was my best friend, he understood me, and made me laugh and he was there for me...
I used to be so defensive of him... I'd get pissed off at anyone who hurt him.
Now I want him to get hurt, so he can feel what he made me feel."
I totally know where you're coming from hunni... I hope you feel better soon. Try and focus on the positive, and move forward, rather than digging yourself into a hole. I'm always here if ya need me!
Love ya! (I'll note your other entries after work)
xXx
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