(no subject)
okay i am kind of mad right now. i had been writeing an entry for atleast 45 minutes and it closed on me. but i might as well just write what i remember... i was talking about my feelings.. like matt ... i still like him alot.. he told me he still has strong feelings for me but not as strong as the ones he has for his girlfriend. but i guess thats okay. because i dont want to spoil their relationship or anything.. i dont even know why i have liked him for soooo long. its silly. and kevin.. i havent talked to him for awhile..i never really liked him tho.. i mean i thot he was cute..but i took it too seriously.. and said some crazy shit.. i havent talked to anothony for quite some time. we used to talk every day...but something weird happend. i gess..i miss jess alot and all of my friends too.. i havent really hung out with anyone this summer.. at all.. imaybe i need some new friends because all the ones i have get me in to shit. or maybe i do that all by myself..i would like to hang out with jen,tom austin tyler,raquel,jess, or someone because i never talk to anyone.... i wanna go tot he mall because ineed a new belt.. like something white. or diffrent.i want to get new shoes too i just bought pink and grey etnies and i saw they had black and pink dcs and etnies that ilike alot better... ibought some cds yesterday they werent too good but they were 4 dollars each... so yeah i got korn,kittie,american hi fi(idk why),and a techno cd....and thats it .. toms new girlfriend brittany is really cool..i might have already said that but i meanit.. i think tom is happier then he has ever been...he reallly likes her, alot. they are so in love. its wonder full..really. i wish i could have a realationship like that but i always always always mess things up and im really trying to change.. its hard tho i have just turned in to a horrible person in the last year..or so. i wrote alot more but i dontremember..anyways i think imight like toms friend austin but idk he rode my bus thewhole year.hes really cool but i prolly dont like him.. i alwaysthink i like a guy bu im usually just jealoud of their girlfriend and think i do.. wichmakes nO sense at all what so ever......but whatever. i dontmake sense at all to begin with.but yeah i would really like to change alot.. i dont lke my personality. andneither does anyone else.. i gt in to so many verbal fights its bad.and just stuff.i shouldnt be aloud to have friends.maybe i should just die in some hole some where. im sure it would help alot of people not haveing me there.i think about suicide all the time i just feel that its much better to not have to suffer all the time..butanyways. i would ask someone to comment.. because noone ever does anymore but noone ever has really.so bye