(no subject)
Right back where I started once again...
lonely, anxious, restless, needy, sad, depressed, drinking whenever I can to make it better.
God I hate this side of myself, if only I learned from the last time how to snap out of it but I dont even know if I ever did snap out of it on my own?
I met someone who cared enough to pull me out of it, and I clung to them and ended up breaking their heart.
I want so badly to fall back into that comfort zone but I know that I cant for his sake or for mine... maybe I dont even know what I'm talking about.
Maybe I had something good, and I couldn't see it because I'm that fucking selfish I know I've done that before.
At one time in my life I considered myself a strong person, ha! strong? I wish.
My family tells me there proud of me for having a good head on my shoulders, taking my time, knowing what I want and not settling. I wish I felt proud of myself.
Hopefully the next time I get into a relationship, (if there is a next time) it will never end, because honestly I don't know if I could do this again.
lonely, anxious, restless, needy, sad, depressed, drinking whenever I can to make it better.
God I hate this side of myself, if only I learned from the last time how to snap out of it but I dont even know if I ever did snap out of it on my own?
I met someone who cared enough to pull me out of it, and I clung to them and ended up breaking their heart.
I want so badly to fall back into that comfort zone but I know that I cant for his sake or for mine... maybe I dont even know what I'm talking about.
Maybe I had something good, and I couldn't see it because I'm that fucking selfish I know I've done that before.
At one time in my life I considered myself a strong person, ha! strong? I wish.
My family tells me there proud of me for having a good head on my shoulders, taking my time, knowing what I want and not settling. I wish I felt proud of myself.
Hopefully the next time I get into a relationship, (if there is a next time) it will never end, because honestly I don't know if I could do this again.