Sitting In A Parking Lot With A Bottle & A Strong Hate For The World
Love is a lie! Thats it, enough said. Especially when the person you love hurts you, realizes it and continues doing so time and time again. You question how could they do this to you and feel nothing, but thats just it loves a blinding lie only headed for disaster! I hate that we must fucking open ourselves up so fucking much just in order to receive a emotion like "love" which is then in the end only going to give us nothing but pain and heart ache for as long as it possibly can. And who ever said its better to have loved then to have never loved at all is a fucking lier. No shit, i would be feeling so much better to have simply been a best friend rather then to have loved someone, have them break your heart (by violating your trust and faith in them), have them tell you that everything you felt was most sentimental about yalls relationship was never felt mutually, having them drag you through there uncertainty of whether they want to be with you, have them break you heart by ending yalls love for good, then to have her return to the exact .........."thing"........... that made you lose your faith & trust in them (and ultimately caused the final break up), then to have them keep this from you for as long as they can through constant lies, and then finally to have them leave you with so much emotional trauma that you cant see anything good left in the world! Ya if all thats better to have expereinced then to have never expereinced at all then count me out! Fuck everything and everyone! Even the people who say that their going to be there for you are liers! Yes thats right even they are liers because somehow even the ones who say that their really there for you are just around because they want something! Unfortunitly i also had to find this out the hard way. Its just hard because when there is nobody else to trust or turn to you rely most on that shoulder to cry on and be there for you but when that person keeps lies from you it only makes them hurt even more so when eventually brought out into the open. Now as its comes to this piont i find myself doing all the horrible habits i once looked at in discuss. I would see others with the same habits and all the answers to fix their problems seemed so simple. However now i see how hard it is, and having these habits truely do help drown all the pain and anguish left behind. Yeah i know its not solving anything and its most likely creating an even bigger problem down the road, but when you cant find the answers to all the built up shit in your life, your options to finding some sort of relief are quite slim. god i hate evrything. And im tired of fucking trying to play "the good fucking guy!" They always finish last! godam im tired better head home. bye