(no subject)
so the biggest news since i last posted. Ryan from my fundamentals class asked me out, it was for tonight but since i had to babysit till 11:30 it seemed pointless, but we went to club vice last night, and it was amazing, i'm wondering how long it will take my so-called friends to realize the difference... probably never, oh well its not like anyone reads this anyways, like i said before im not going to bother telling them things when they dont bother telling me. I'm only 18 but i seem to realize so much more than just 6 months ago, I'm not the same person, i have my guard up 24/7, last night ryan told me he didnt think i would be the "good-type" i had to laugh, if only he knew, which in time he probably will. Somehow the subject of travis came up, and he asked how things ended, and i simply replied i didnt know. How am i supposed to tell him that i got ignored and thats how the realtionship ended, how I'm i supposed to tell him that the last time i talked to my 'boyfriend' everything was a-okay and than 3 days later he was telling my friends i should 'get over it' ? like that still hurts and im not ready to share that information, even though i can on here, but its different. I'm not ready to get hurt again. and not just by boys, but by friends too, i feel like anything i do.. will somehow get me hurt again and i dont like that. and to top it off my back wont stop hurting, i could OD on IBprophen and it would still be hurting, whatever i just ignore it, maybe if i tell my spine to get over it it will go away.. that apparently works. but somemore good news my babysitting job just got me more hours : ) i'm babysitting for this one kid who is 9 ( so that should be easy) im not sure how much im making though, but its just a couple saturday nights a month, and the jones need me more while rich is trying to find a new job so thats good too, and they are going to recommend me to their friend, who would need me over nights.. to basically just make sure everything is okay! and sleep there.. and get paid! and thats going to be good money from what ive heard. Me and mom got into a big fight today, i dont know what crawled up her butt, but she apologized later, so thats good at least. okay well im tierd and im gunna head to bedish.. jay is in there sleeping but ill just push her over
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