shelly, did you know your mother is a whore?
joke time:
-I a guy gets off a train, it's late at night and he's a city he's unfamiliar with, but he's really hungry so he finds an all night diner on the way to he's motel, and sees a sign that says, "home-made chili 1.99." the guy thinks to himself, "that sounds pretty good." so he walks in and sits down at a stool and says to the waitress, "may I please have a bowl of that chili that's advertised outside?" the waitress replies, "sorry, we just sold the last bowl to that guy over there reading the newspaper." so the guy gets up and walks over to the guy with the newspaper and says, "hey I'll give ya five bucks for that bowl of chili." they guy puts down his paper and looks at the guy and says, "alright." so the guy pays him and sits down back at his stool and starts going to town at this chili, and about half way through the chili the guy finds a dead rat in the chili and just vomits all the chili up." the guy with the newspaper chuckles and without even putting his newspaper down says, "yeah that's about as far as I got too."
-why do jewish husbands die before their wives? they want to.
-what's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? anyone can roast beef.
-(jerry Seinfeld impression) and what's the deal with the razor slots on airplanes? are people actually shavin in there?....(yes I know what wasn't a joke but I was thinking about that)
-I a guy gets off a train, it's late at night and he's a city he's unfamiliar with, but he's really hungry so he finds an all night diner on the way to he's motel, and sees a sign that says, "home-made chili 1.99." the guy thinks to himself, "that sounds pretty good." so he walks in and sits down at a stool and says to the waitress, "may I please have a bowl of that chili that's advertised outside?" the waitress replies, "sorry, we just sold the last bowl to that guy over there reading the newspaper." so the guy gets up and walks over to the guy with the newspaper and says, "hey I'll give ya five bucks for that bowl of chili." they guy puts down his paper and looks at the guy and says, "alright." so the guy pays him and sits down back at his stool and starts going to town at this chili, and about half way through the chili the guy finds a dead rat in the chili and just vomits all the chili up." the guy with the newspaper chuckles and without even putting his newspaper down says, "yeah that's about as far as I got too."
-why do jewish husbands die before their wives? they want to.
-what's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? anyone can roast beef.
-(jerry Seinfeld impression) and what's the deal with the razor slots on airplanes? are people actually shavin in there?....(yes I know what wasn't a joke but I was thinking about that)