(no subject)
So I think I've come to a turning point in my life, where, finally-- after years now, I am moving on with my life and keeping myself away from certain people. And I know I've said that all before, but it's so different now... because I honestly do not miss him at all. It's like I expect myself to miss him... but I don't. I barely think about him. And I'm not even trying not to. It's just I'm simply not at all interested anymore. It's gotten old, but not in a remonicent way. In a final, cold-turkey kind of way. I can't even say I feel good about it-- or that I feel liberated or something, cause I don't feel anything at all for him anymore, nothing. It's so weird. I don't even know what caused me to lose all interest in him all of a sudden, and I don't even really care why it decided to happen now. It's just completely over.
And I don't even really have anyone in mind when in comes to "a boyfriend". I guess I just need to meet new people or whatever. I mean, I know I like having a boyfriend, so yeah-- I guess you could say I want one... but for the first time in forever I have no one seriously in mind... there are no options. Sure, I can go out with a guy and have a fun time or whatever, but as far as I can see there is no one in my life right now that I could possibly see myself getting into a serious reltionship with. I don't know if this is a good or bad feeling-- knowing that I don't even have anyone in particular in my... I don't even have a crush, I guess it kind of sucks because I feel so completely melancholy. All I do is wake up, go to work, come home, eat, play video games/watch tv/read, go to bed and repeat the cycle all over again, with the acception of hanging out with Jordan once a week or whatever and staying over there, I don't really do much at all.
I guess I am just waiting for something significant to happen in my life that'll stop this feeling of constant boredom and routine. A new group of friends to hang out with everyday, to be part of someone's main circle of friends... that's something I need to do. Because I've been way too bored lately-- mostly because I've been busy-- but even when I'm not it would be cool to have friends that I could count on hanging out with almost every, if not every day, even if it's just someone to watch tv with when I get out of work for a couple hours. Now that Marci's at school in Philidelphia-- I am without a best friend to hang out with... and Melanie is always busy. I don't know. I am just so god damn fucking bored all the time. I feel like I'm wasting my life. And I'm making all this money at work and not even having anything rewarding to spend it on-- to go out with... whatever. I think you get the point.
Well I guess I am going to Jessie Pratt's house for a little while cuz we're both so fucking lonely.
Yeah.
And I don't even really have anyone in mind when in comes to "a boyfriend". I guess I just need to meet new people or whatever. I mean, I know I like having a boyfriend, so yeah-- I guess you could say I want one... but for the first time in forever I have no one seriously in mind... there are no options. Sure, I can go out with a guy and have a fun time or whatever, but as far as I can see there is no one in my life right now that I could possibly see myself getting into a serious reltionship with. I don't know if this is a good or bad feeling-- knowing that I don't even have anyone in particular in my... I don't even have a crush, I guess it kind of sucks because I feel so completely melancholy. All I do is wake up, go to work, come home, eat, play video games/watch tv/read, go to bed and repeat the cycle all over again, with the acception of hanging out with Jordan once a week or whatever and staying over there, I don't really do much at all.
I guess I am just waiting for something significant to happen in my life that'll stop this feeling of constant boredom and routine. A new group of friends to hang out with everyday, to be part of someone's main circle of friends... that's something I need to do. Because I've been way too bored lately-- mostly because I've been busy-- but even when I'm not it would be cool to have friends that I could count on hanging out with almost every, if not every day, even if it's just someone to watch tv with when I get out of work for a couple hours. Now that Marci's at school in Philidelphia-- I am without a best friend to hang out with... and Melanie is always busy. I don't know. I am just so god damn fucking bored all the time. I feel like I'm wasting my life. And I'm making all this money at work and not even having anything rewarding to spend it on-- to go out with... whatever. I think you get the point.
Well I guess I am going to Jessie Pratt's house for a little while cuz we're both so fucking lonely.
Yeah.