Nothing Going On
"A Whole Lot Of Nothing"
Hannibal Rising - 2 decapitated heads out of 5
Let’s put this plainly - Hannibal Rising is not a terrible film. But is by no means a good one. Here my friends is a film clearly based on style above substance.
Hannibal Rising is the awaited yet utterly unnecessary sequel to Silence Of The Lambs and Red Dragon. It sets out to explain why Lector was lead down the road of violence and cannibalism, a making of a monster if you will. And fails.
The core reason for Lector’s ways were quite imaginative and promising. Yet it’s effects were presented so suddenly and pathetically that it all became very ridiculous very fast. Illogical in fact.
As for the ‘talent’ - lord help us. The attractive yet wooden Japanese aunt of Lector failed to inspire whatsoever and the only point where she was believable was practically right at the very end of the film. As for Lector - well it’s hard to believe she could ever fall in love with such an irritating little twat. His version of ‘evil’ was smirking and pouting which grew incredibly tiresome and often the desire to punch him in the face became very strong. Hopkin’s no need for this idiotic posturing in his portrayal of Lector so why did this fool think it was necessary?
The only actor who made a decent effort was Rhys Ifans as the central villain. He was positively brilliant and utterly believable. But he’s rarely put a foot wrong in the past. It’s a shame he was pulled into this utter turkey.
There were thoughtless mistakes throughout the film that thought they were being clever by alluding to the other films yet were completely irrelevant and foolish. Half the time I wondered if they actually did any research.
However it does have some redeeming features and I’m afraid these all aesthetics. Quite simply this is gore and horror for the weak-stomached Hollywood generation. It was purely suggestion and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. A lot of it was very well done. The tree scene particularly springs to mind as this was wonderfully orchestrated. However I couldn’t believe I was supposedly watching the ‘uncut’ edition with deleted scenes, not seen at the cinema. This was tamer than a puppy! The blurbs raved that this was bloodthirsty and violent yet I couldn’t see such evidence for this. There really are some easily shocked critics out there.
Again the settings, outfits and other trappings were aesthetically pleasing but there was a lot missing. Call me old-fashioned but I thought there was meant to be a decent plot…developed characters…depth…Obviously not.
If you’re easily swayed by aesthetics, by all means, go see this. You’ll probably think it’s the best thing since…well…sliced bread. Yet for people who have seen enough films to know better, avoid.
Now a film that does explain a killer’s past satisfactorily is Rob Zombie’s remake of Halloween. I honestly cannot think of a director better suited to remaking this film than Zombie - he was utterly in his element.
As a friend of mine said, it wasn’t his best film. But it is definitely a film worth seeing and superior to a lot of the stuff that’s come out recently.
I may very well get shot for this statement, but in my eyes it’s far better than the original Halloween. It should be said that Zombie’s Halloween never really set out to be a remake of the original, rather a precursor to the other films, filling in the gaps of his childhood which had always been mentioned in passing in the other films.
As expected from Zombie, he brought some old friends along for the ride. Got to get them some work after all. Sheri Moon Zombie played Myer’s mother. Although she was a stripper, her character was a million miles away from Baby Firefly of Devil’s Rejects and House Of 1000 Corpses. She was very convincing as the mother and could be easily sympathised with. Both of the Rydells from the two other films also starred. The HO1000C Rydell played a security guard that meets a grisly end with some other guards and the TDR Rydell plays the crippled bastard who torments Myers at home. Bill Moseley (Otis) is utterly unrecognisable as a comparatively clean-cut security guard as opposed to the white haired killer from the Zombie’s series. Sid Haig (Captain Spaulding) made a brief appearance as a cemetery groundskeeper and the second Madame Firefly makes an appearance as a security guard.
Of course there are appearances from other well know people too including Machete from the Grindhouse trailers and one of the bounty hunters from Devil’s Rejects playing a kindly worker in the mental asylum and Malcolm McDowell of Clockwork Orange fame as Myer’s psychiatrist.
It’s great to see that Zombie has got a definite style to his films. So far all three of his films recapture a feel of the 70s horror of classics such as The Hills Have Eyes and Last House On The Left while adding a modern sheen. Zombie would have made a superior remake of The Hills Have Eyes than the current one circulating which is satisfactory but could have been a bit better.
Zombie and Tarentino are truly bowing in the new wave of neo grindhouse.
4 out of 5 fucked up masks.
You’d think I’d be old enough to not judge films by their covers anymore. I wasn’t expecting anything amazing of The Hamiltons. The blurb on the back merely stated about a group of ‘attractive’ siblings (yeah if 20 year olds with old man haircuts and ‘goth’ girls with huge foreheads are your thing) whose parents died mysteriously who have been forced to move around and have two girls tied up in their basement. But I’m ashamed to say I was curious about the cover. It had one of those modern horror covers that they save for the gory shit. You know, featuring limbs and blood and brown and metal like Saw, Hostel and The Devil’s Rejects. You know the drill. The critics claimed it was ‘the best independent horror since Saw’. If you know me, you’ll know if you mention the three letter word - I’m hooked and I have to investigate.
Holy crap, such disappointment. The story was pathetic, the acting was abysmal, it wasn’t easy on the eyes at all and it’s lame attempt to be thoughtful and chilling at the end was so predictably wet it almost made me cry.
What a waste. Believe me it had some potential but instead it used the standard ‘arse on seat’ moments involving sex and girls making out with lame morals and eye-rolling scripts. Oh and don’t forget one of those ‘goths’ that made people who have any experience of real goth at all shake their heads. Think the goth from Urban Legend and you’ll be along the right lines.
This film seriously made me want to jump in a car and knock each fucker involved with the film down. Oh and those critics! HOW DARE THEY USE THE ‘SAW’ WORD FOR THIS CROCK?! GRRR!
Ahem.
1 set of obviously fake fangs out of 5