(no subject)
so kenneth told me yesterday that he did not want to talk to me anymore because he was still in love with me and unless i was his girlfriend he could not be around me. well he has been my compainion for so long and with everything that has been happening all at once i am his 'girlfriend'.
i honestly do not think this is fair. i am not over brian or anywhere close. brian has moved on and there is just so much going on in that sector of my life. kenneth won't try to be there for me, he wants to have a girlfriend and that is just aggrevating. i am not saying he should stay single for life, but i mean hey, have some compassion. grace would never do that to will, and kenneth likens us to them.
i honestly dont feel ready for a relationship especially with him considering that is the biggest disrespect to brian.
but if i don't i am totally alone.
but if i don't i am a bitch.
but if i don't then i could heal.
he is having me give up everything i ever wanted for my next relationship for him to feel okai. how is he any better than jason? he will never see it either.
i figure i only have a week or so more and then i can finally live for me. i guess honestly i am molding myself into what he needs. but i will never soberly have sex with anyone ever agin until my husband. i am through with this. i do not want to be here, but i have to in order to keep my companion.
stephen said something i was hoping someone would say besides my heart and mind : if he was a real best friend he would not be doing this
i honestly do not think this is fair. i am not over brian or anywhere close. brian has moved on and there is just so much going on in that sector of my life. kenneth won't try to be there for me, he wants to have a girlfriend and that is just aggrevating. i am not saying he should stay single for life, but i mean hey, have some compassion. grace would never do that to will, and kenneth likens us to them.
i honestly dont feel ready for a relationship especially with him considering that is the biggest disrespect to brian.
but if i don't i am totally alone.
but if i don't i am a bitch.
but if i don't then i could heal.
he is having me give up everything i ever wanted for my next relationship for him to feel okai. how is he any better than jason? he will never see it either.
i figure i only have a week or so more and then i can finally live for me. i guess honestly i am molding myself into what he needs. but i will never soberly have sex with anyone ever agin until my husband. i am through with this. i do not want to be here, but i have to in order to keep my companion.
stephen said something i was hoping someone would say besides my heart and mind : if he was a real best friend he would not be doing this