I X post a lot
I know that I haven’t been around much lately.
Or talking to many people.
But please understand it has nothing to do with anyone personally.
Friends have been getting mad at me that I haven’t been hanging out with them, and that is just adding more stress on me that I don’t need.
I haven’t even seen or really even TALKED to my BEST friend…so it’s not that I am signaling anyone out.
I just have been extremely busy being an assistant manager, studding for my class, fixing my car because it has everything wrong with it you could possibly imagine (and keeps adding on a new problem at least every few days), not feeling good mentally or psychically and I have been especially upset about my mother and the cancer. So when I do find time to go out, it’s normally at like 11 at night, and I just stay over Brian’s until 5:30 in the morning when he goes to work. Most of my friends aren’t up at that hour. So if you can’t understand why I haven’t been around, that’s not my problem. I am going through more with my life right now then I ever have before, and I know friends are what you are “supposed” to lean on when times get hard, but I honestly can’t even talk about Mom without bawling my eyes out, and I don’t like people seeing me like that. I have to be strong, especially now.
She went to this cancer hospital in Boston all day yesterday.
(I don’t know the name but she told me it is a very good hospital…but considering none of my health issues have been resolved in years, I have pretty much lost all faith is Dr.’s.)
This upcoming Tuesday she needs more surgery for the cancer. Then a few weeks after that she starts radiation, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks. So it’s going to be getting a lot harder then it already has been.
(Sorry Mom, I know it's a bad picture but it's the only one I have on here)
I’m sorry I can’t devote all my free time to everyone…I barely even have time to myself.
It certainly doesn’t mean I stopped thinking of you or loving you or wanting to see you.
Times are just hard right now, and I need people to understand that.
"You taught me everything.
And everything you've given me,
I always keep it inside.
You're the driving force in my life.
There isn't anything,
Or anyone I can be.
And it just wouldn't feel right.
If I didn't have you by my side.
You were there for me to love and care for me,
When skies were grey.
Whenever I was down.
You were always there to comfort me.
And no one else can be what you have been to me.
You'll always be you always will be the girl,
In my life for all times.
Mama, mama you know I love you.
Oh you know I love you.
Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart.
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times,
Looking back when I was so afraid.
And then you come to me,
And say to me: I can face anything,
And no one else can do,
What you have done for me."
Or talking to many people.
But please understand it has nothing to do with anyone personally.
Friends have been getting mad at me that I haven’t been hanging out with them, and that is just adding more stress on me that I don’t need.
I haven’t even seen or really even TALKED to my BEST friend…so it’s not that I am signaling anyone out.
I just have been extremely busy being an assistant manager, studding for my class, fixing my car because it has everything wrong with it you could possibly imagine (and keeps adding on a new problem at least every few days), not feeling good mentally or psychically and I have been especially upset about my mother and the cancer. So when I do find time to go out, it’s normally at like 11 at night, and I just stay over Brian’s until 5:30 in the morning when he goes to work. Most of my friends aren’t up at that hour. So if you can’t understand why I haven’t been around, that’s not my problem. I am going through more with my life right now then I ever have before, and I know friends are what you are “supposed” to lean on when times get hard, but I honestly can’t even talk about Mom without bawling my eyes out, and I don’t like people seeing me like that. I have to be strong, especially now.
She went to this cancer hospital in Boston all day yesterday.
(I don’t know the name but she told me it is a very good hospital…but considering none of my health issues have been resolved in years, I have pretty much lost all faith is Dr.’s.)
This upcoming Tuesday she needs more surgery for the cancer. Then a few weeks after that she starts radiation, 5 days a week, for 6 weeks. So it’s going to be getting a lot harder then it already has been.
(Sorry Mom, I know it's a bad picture but it's the only one I have on here)
I’m sorry I can’t devote all my free time to everyone…I barely even have time to myself.
It certainly doesn’t mean I stopped thinking of you or loving you or wanting to see you.
Times are just hard right now, and I need people to understand that.
"You taught me everything.
And everything you've given me,
I always keep it inside.
You're the driving force in my life.
There isn't anything,
Or anyone I can be.
And it just wouldn't feel right.
If I didn't have you by my side.
You were there for me to love and care for me,
When skies were grey.
Whenever I was down.
You were always there to comfort me.
And no one else can be what you have been to me.
You'll always be you always will be the girl,
In my life for all times.
Mama, mama you know I love you.
Oh you know I love you.
Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart.
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times,
Looking back when I was so afraid.
And then you come to me,
And say to me: I can face anything,
And no one else can do,
What you have done for me."