tears of a clown

[xxx_fancy_that]

im calming myself little bits at a time.
i really do know how to panic when its completely uncalled for.
its necessity could be as apparent as i suspect, but then why cant I tell? 
i really need to know.
(separate) (spheres)
phew.
oh no!
its ok its ok.
shit what am I going to do.
ok maybe im not  calm at all.
im getting a mild mind fuck.
i guess thats what we clowns get.

i need to get some constructive criticism on my life.
i dont care how bad it hurts, just tell me what is wrong with me.