you look so pretty when you cry.

[xxwhistlecorexx]

im not doing anything and it totaly sucks.
i threw away everything to be siting alone doing nothing.
i have no plans no lined up side action fun.
just fucking a wish that somthing new and exciting would happen.

stoupid materialistic pre madona bullshit.
its everywhere and it makes me sick.
my hopes are quite low finding anyone who could possibly be on my level.
its so hard to find anyone on the same page.

i think i may have overanticipated my luxurious life of freedom and chance.
like no strings attached but nothing to show.
my precious ego needed a boost. now my whole life needs a boost.

i always want what i cant have.
no matter how good what i have is.

i cant get over my brash decisions.
i can only imagine what others think of me as of now.
I dont like feeling like a fucking asshole everyday but i do.
inconsiderate and detached by choice.

so here i sit the same things pounding in my head.
the same words, same sad face.
i dont know what i want or what im doing at all anymore.
i feel incredibly lost. im missing a piece of my life and its my fault.
i realize what a perfect thing im throwing away and yet i still want more.
more girls more beer more fun. more life. more friends.
right now i feel more and more like i have nothing, and its all my fault.

ive let myself down and ive let oyu down. i cringe at the thought of what ive put you through. and through all of this you still forgive and love me. i know that no one could ever love me more than you. i cant even understand how you put up with me this long. i agree with your friends i dont deserve someone as perfect as you.

ive got nothing else left.