and you take me over and over again...
Lastime i wrote it was Monday.Tuesday I went to my new doctor who actually isn't a "doctor" but basically the same thing as a doctor.Anyways,she was really cool and her last name was Rocca..Rocca-Sexton I think, and i like that.Yeahh.Okay so I went about my constant headaches,and stomach pain issues.For the headaches,first she told me to go to the eye doctor to rule out the prospect that it may just be a vision problem but she said that's unlikely since my daily headaches have been going on for probably a year,maybe more than that..and it's not migraines because those aren't daily.So i have to go see if i need glasses and then she's set me up with an appointment with a radiologist to get a catscan to check out my brain.And then I have to go to a neurologist to talk to him..or her.I'm not quite sure what they'll do,all I really know is that a neuro is a brain doctor.Annd then she gave me some drug..ana-something..that is supposed to help my stomach and then i had to buy this fiber powder shit to put in my food everytime i eat.Oh and I have to go walking 3 times a week and drink 1.5-3 liters of water a day.K i filled a soda bottle 2 liter thing with water..filled it up lastnight and have been drinking since.It's now the following night and I'm just at the half-full line.I cannnnn't drink anything,i'm never thirsty!And when I am,I drink like one sip and i'm good.Bah.I feel like an old decrepit lady...having to put fiber powder in my food.Guess this is what i get for being a lazyass.Anyways the whole catscan thing is kinda freaking me out, I don't know what to expect but they seem a little scary.Enough medical-speak.
Wednesday..went to aacc class and that was basically that.Oh and I cooked some stuff for thanksgiving.Ohh and it was Austin's 21st birthday so now he can get legally drunk.Aw my big brudder's growing up.
Thursday..thanksgiving.My mom got me up at 8:20 then she and i left for my grandma Nonnie's house an hour later to get down there and start cooking.I was in a pretty damn pissy mood because I just wanted to watch the fucking parade but she made me go with her to cook at the asscrack of dawn(it felt like it)on a bloody holiday when everyone else is home taking it easy.Well.To be literal,I spent the entire day in the kitchen and I felt like a butler.My cousins and the rest of my family that was there..they don't do anything.They just sat around watching tv and talking while my mom and i slaved away in my grandmas tiny little kitchen.Austin kept bitching at me to cut up more cheese and i swear if i have to roll up one more piece of salami or bruschto HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT i'm gonna scream.Then Austin wants a plate of pickels.Then i'm on the phone with ian and my grandpa is sitting on the couch going "Caitlin..caitlin.....caitlin...caitlin....caitlin....caitlin." and i hang up and i go yes Coogie? (what austin and i have always called my grandad..long story)..and he goes.."I want some ice cream." and i was like GET IT YOURSELF!!! but then i remembered that he can't even get off the couch and walk anymore so i had to do that and serve him more wine coolers.And we blew the fuse in the kitchen twice so everything kept shutting off cuz we had two microwaves going.It was crazy.I was so stressed out.I don't want to cook for a long time.So then later on after we ate Austin and I left and I went over to ian's and sat around with him,his mom,his sister Karina and his brother and sister-in-law Bryan and Danielle..we hung out...and that was basiiiically my thanksgiving.
Today's friday and i can't remember it.I didn't do anything besides go walk zeke and paris in kinder park with my mom.On the way to ian's at like 6 something I got caught in that big accident on benfield road like infront of bluff point.I sat there awhile watching people turn around then i finally turned around and went a different way.It looked pretty bad,there was a slew of fire trucks,ambulances,cops and then later on i heard a helicopter.Drove by taking ian home tonight at 11 something and the road there had stuff all over it.Eeek. But anyways yeah we just went to the mall tonight, i made him try on a shirt and a little black girl pointed at me and said "I like your skirt!" and i was like thanks then we went to Sam&Goody and ian took this little cardboard Rammstein sign that was in the CD rack where their new cd,Reise,Reise was.He's such a theif he's taken shit from there twice..but not stuff you'd have to buy.The first time was when i told him i wanted this resident evil apocalypse poster they had up so he ripped it down for me haha.Yeah.
Tomorrow is saturdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.I put my wishlist on the fridge today.I'll be 18 in 21 days.Are you ready?
That's really way too old for me.Im a small child trapped in a small body that has been given an age too many numbers too big.Honestly.I'm not almost 18, i'm almost 9.Being alive 18 years seems like a long time but it still feels like a year ago that I was five and watching Mr.Rogers.Maybe it's just because that whole digusting middle-school age-era i've sort of flushed from my memory.I don't remember a lot of things from then because I don't want to because basically it hurts to.I just get angry at all the shit i took from people and everything that happened and how alone i felt.Middle school is such a horrible time.They should just get rid of it.Go to elementary school then take 3 years off,then start 9th grade.Ugh.
I'm getting in a bad mood.
When we were in Border's tonight I was looking at the new release shelves right in the front of the store, envisioning my own books someday sitting there.I decided that my book will get its own table right in front.When you sit it on those shelves next to all the other books, it get's sort of crowded and there's so much to look at.It deserves its own special table.
I want to go to England this summer soooo badly.Screw going to stupid Ocean City to senior week with everyone else.I go to the beach every summer, I want to go to England so I can go pick out where i want to live and all.Mmm.I'm thinking a flat in London and a pretty old place in Cornwall right by the ocean.I'll write the good books there.And i'll have lots of dogs...yes.Irish wolfhounds.Those dogs are bigger than I am.I'll have an army of them to keep me safe.Anyways i'm really rambling, aren't I.But hey i'm allowed to because this is MY lj and not yours.go kiss the rain.
Wednesday..went to aacc class and that was basically that.Oh and I cooked some stuff for thanksgiving.Ohh and it was Austin's 21st birthday so now he can get legally drunk.Aw my big brudder's growing up.
Thursday..thanksgiving.My mom got me up at 8:20 then she and i left for my grandma Nonnie's house an hour later to get down there and start cooking.I was in a pretty damn pissy mood because I just wanted to watch the fucking parade but she made me go with her to cook at the asscrack of dawn(it felt like it)on a bloody holiday when everyone else is home taking it easy.Well.To be literal,I spent the entire day in the kitchen and I felt like a butler.My cousins and the rest of my family that was there..they don't do anything.They just sat around watching tv and talking while my mom and i slaved away in my grandmas tiny little kitchen.Austin kept bitching at me to cut up more cheese and i swear if i have to roll up one more piece of salami or bruschto HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT i'm gonna scream.Then Austin wants a plate of pickels.Then i'm on the phone with ian and my grandpa is sitting on the couch going "Caitlin..caitlin.....caitlin...caitlin....caitlin....caitlin." and i hang up and i go yes Coogie? (what austin and i have always called my grandad..long story)..and he goes.."I want some ice cream." and i was like GET IT YOURSELF!!! but then i remembered that he can't even get off the couch and walk anymore so i had to do that and serve him more wine coolers.And we blew the fuse in the kitchen twice so everything kept shutting off cuz we had two microwaves going.It was crazy.I was so stressed out.I don't want to cook for a long time.So then later on after we ate Austin and I left and I went over to ian's and sat around with him,his mom,his sister Karina and his brother and sister-in-law Bryan and Danielle..we hung out...and that was basiiiically my thanksgiving.
Today's friday and i can't remember it.I didn't do anything besides go walk zeke and paris in kinder park with my mom.On the way to ian's at like 6 something I got caught in that big accident on benfield road like infront of bluff point.I sat there awhile watching people turn around then i finally turned around and went a different way.It looked pretty bad,there was a slew of fire trucks,ambulances,cops and then later on i heard a helicopter.Drove by taking ian home tonight at 11 something and the road there had stuff all over it.Eeek. But anyways yeah we just went to the mall tonight, i made him try on a shirt and a little black girl pointed at me and said "I like your skirt!" and i was like thanks then we went to Sam&Goody and ian took this little cardboard Rammstein sign that was in the CD rack where their new cd,Reise,Reise was.He's such a theif he's taken shit from there twice..but not stuff you'd have to buy.The first time was when i told him i wanted this resident evil apocalypse poster they had up so he ripped it down for me haha.Yeah.
Tomorrow is saturdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.I put my wishlist on the fridge today.I'll be 18 in 21 days.Are you ready?
That's really way too old for me.Im a small child trapped in a small body that has been given an age too many numbers too big.Honestly.I'm not almost 18, i'm almost 9.Being alive 18 years seems like a long time but it still feels like a year ago that I was five and watching Mr.Rogers.Maybe it's just because that whole digusting middle-school age-era i've sort of flushed from my memory.I don't remember a lot of things from then because I don't want to because basically it hurts to.I just get angry at all the shit i took from people and everything that happened and how alone i felt.Middle school is such a horrible time.They should just get rid of it.Go to elementary school then take 3 years off,then start 9th grade.Ugh.
I'm getting in a bad mood.
When we were in Border's tonight I was looking at the new release shelves right in the front of the store, envisioning my own books someday sitting there.I decided that my book will get its own table right in front.When you sit it on those shelves next to all the other books, it get's sort of crowded and there's so much to look at.It deserves its own special table.
I want to go to England this summer soooo badly.Screw going to stupid Ocean City to senior week with everyone else.I go to the beach every summer, I want to go to England so I can go pick out where i want to live and all.Mmm.I'm thinking a flat in London and a pretty old place in Cornwall right by the ocean.I'll write the good books there.And i'll have lots of dogs...yes.Irish wolfhounds.Those dogs are bigger than I am.I'll have an army of them to keep me safe.Anyways i'm really rambling, aren't I.But hey i'm allowed to because this is MY lj and not yours.go kiss the rain.