*sigh*
I just realized that I will never be understood by anyone and definitely not by the people closest to me. I sit there and listen and put forth all my energy and care to help them with there problems or just.. to hear their problems.. and they can't even give me the time of day.
You have NO idea how I feel right now. You have NO clue what I'm going through. You don't even fucking care.
I ask questions, try to get to know you, try to understand you, your past and why you are the way you are.... and you can't even remember that I had a life threatening incident that prevents me from remembering what the hell happened yesterday. The ONLY way I can remember is by repetition or writing it down. I am NOT going to log your life, so please don't use it against me. At least try to get to know me too.
I sit here and watch everything I say or type to make sure that I don't mention myself or go off on a personal tangent just to get my word in about my ails... because you're not listening.. I sit here and make sure that everything I say is according to your personality. For each and every one of you I use a different set of words, or rather, don't use words... or phrases or fucking smileys. Whatever suits YOUR needs. Well damnit, fuck you. Fuck you for not getting to know me. Knowing why I am who I am, or remembering the things I can and can't do. I guarantee you I know more about you than you do me.
And just to let you know, I don't mean by listening to me complain, I mean fucking get to know MY life, and why I act like I do and why I can't remember what the fuck you said a year ago. Because I know all of you guys who I love so very much have listened to me go on and on about my problems till the dead horse is obliterated... I only do it cause no one will listen to me in the first place. And thank you for listening to me for so long. But here's my question...
How much of this did you actually comprehend? Or did you just read it and scoff?
You have NO idea how I feel right now. You have NO clue what I'm going through. You don't even fucking care.
I ask questions, try to get to know you, try to understand you, your past and why you are the way you are.... and you can't even remember that I had a life threatening incident that prevents me from remembering what the hell happened yesterday. The ONLY way I can remember is by repetition or writing it down. I am NOT going to log your life, so please don't use it against me. At least try to get to know me too.
I sit here and watch everything I say or type to make sure that I don't mention myself or go off on a personal tangent just to get my word in about my ails... because you're not listening.. I sit here and make sure that everything I say is according to your personality. For each and every one of you I use a different set of words, or rather, don't use words... or phrases or fucking smileys. Whatever suits YOUR needs. Well damnit, fuck you. Fuck you for not getting to know me. Knowing why I am who I am, or remembering the things I can and can't do. I guarantee you I know more about you than you do me.
And just to let you know, I don't mean by listening to me complain, I mean fucking get to know MY life, and why I act like I do and why I can't remember what the fuck you said a year ago. Because I know all of you guys who I love so very much have listened to me go on and on about my problems till the dead horse is obliterated... I only do it cause no one will listen to me in the first place. And thank you for listening to me for so long. But here's my question...
How much of this did you actually comprehend? Or did you just read it and scoff?