(no subject)
Im updating.. since I`m bored and have no life.
This week was great.. but boring at the same time.
I had swimming camp all week and that was intense.
I haven't gone out all week though.
Hmm.. could it be that no one fucking calls me?
Or that no one KEEPS any plans I try to make, trying to be a "good" friend.
Oh and I guess I'm a terrible person and "I've changed this year"
I think I know myself.. and personally I don't think I've changed at all.
If you think I've changed in ANY way, please share that with me.. because I just don't seem to understand.
And do you know how it feels to wake up one day, live life, and go to bed with one less friend?? I do.. and it hurts, a lot. Maybe I really did change, but I don't want to. I never ever want to change for anyone or anything. But i dont think thats possible. I think everyone changes, I just dont want to. Maybe its too late, maybe i just suck at life and being a good friend.. but I TRY.. I call people just to talk, or hang out and I dont think Im rude to anyone.. but I could be wrong. I just think that my "friends" could be a little more considerate to my feelings,in saying that the words "I hate you" are a little harsh. I mean no matter HOW MUCH I disliked anything, I don't think that I would ever ever ever use those words. But If I'm really as horrible as everyone seems to tell me, I apologize. Go ahead and tell me that I'm a bad friend and that you hate me, because obviously, I DESERVE IT.
Sorry if that sounds sarcastic at all- it wasn't intended.
I guess Im really just sick of "friends"...
And now i realize who are really my true friends..
the people I can count on and that are there for me.
And those of you that im talking about ; I appreciate it.
Anyways-
Yesterday- I stayed home all night, "watching" my brother. Watched a billion movies + Degrassi. Talked to some people.
Today- woke up pretty late, watched more movies all day and LAguna Beach.
People told me they were coming over, so I got ready, then they didn't come over... soo I just sat here.
Then, Anthony's gf calls and wants him to go put put golfign with her for her bday, which is today, and we couldn't figure out a way for him to go. So she's like "okay, ill just stay at my gmas for my bday" So I invited her over. I know, SUCH a nice sister:) So her and a friend came over, + this other kid and his little brother. So my job for the night was to make sure mom and dad wernt coming home and to watch the little kid. That was interesting. We pulled it off tho. :)
On a good note, I have a Homecoming date :)
Unless, of corse someone asks me for real..
( you all know thats everyone) *rolls eyes*
I know, boring entry. Sorry Guys.
I just wish that sometime this SummeR..
i could be happy.. with myself, my choices, and my life.
But for now, that just isn't happening. :-/
This week was great.. but boring at the same time.
I had swimming camp all week and that was intense.
I haven't gone out all week though.
Hmm.. could it be that no one fucking calls me?
Or that no one KEEPS any plans I try to make, trying to be a "good" friend.
Oh and I guess I'm a terrible person and "I've changed this year"
I think I know myself.. and personally I don't think I've changed at all.
If you think I've changed in ANY way, please share that with me.. because I just don't seem to understand.
And do you know how it feels to wake up one day, live life, and go to bed with one less friend?? I do.. and it hurts, a lot. Maybe I really did change, but I don't want to. I never ever want to change for anyone or anything. But i dont think thats possible. I think everyone changes, I just dont want to. Maybe its too late, maybe i just suck at life and being a good friend.. but I TRY.. I call people just to talk, or hang out and I dont think Im rude to anyone.. but I could be wrong. I just think that my "friends" could be a little more considerate to my feelings,in saying that the words "I hate you" are a little harsh. I mean no matter HOW MUCH I disliked anything, I don't think that I would ever ever ever use those words. But If I'm really as horrible as everyone seems to tell me, I apologize. Go ahead and tell me that I'm a bad friend and that you hate me, because obviously, I DESERVE IT.
Sorry if that sounds sarcastic at all- it wasn't intended.
I guess Im really just sick of "friends"...
And now i realize who are really my true friends..
the people I can count on and that are there for me.
And those of you that im talking about ; I appreciate it.
Anyways-
Yesterday- I stayed home all night, "watching" my brother. Watched a billion movies + Degrassi. Talked to some people.
Today- woke up pretty late, watched more movies all day and LAguna Beach.
People told me they were coming over, so I got ready, then they didn't come over... soo I just sat here.
Then, Anthony's gf calls and wants him to go put put golfign with her for her bday, which is today, and we couldn't figure out a way for him to go. So she's like "okay, ill just stay at my gmas for my bday" So I invited her over. I know, SUCH a nice sister:) So her and a friend came over, + this other kid and his little brother. So my job for the night was to make sure mom and dad wernt coming home and to watch the little kid. That was interesting. We pulled it off tho. :)
On a good note, I have a Homecoming date :)
Unless, of corse someone asks me for real..
( you all know thats everyone) *rolls eyes*
I know, boring entry. Sorry Guys.
I just wish that sometime this SummeR..
i could be happy.. with myself, my choices, and my life.
But for now, that just isn't happening. :-/