(no subject)
so life has been okay. Im starting to get passed the whole mike thing more and more everyday. I still really wish things could have worked..but he's a fucking pot head and we've been through this..anyway..So supposedly julie was pissed at me and gabi this weekend and i confronted her about it on monday and she was like oh no not at all but then ashley told me to read her live journal..which i did last night. So this basically explains most of it:
THIS WAS STRAIGHT OFF OF JULIE'S XANGA:
*******Bio* Pissed off beyond reason. Ashley's best friends with Steph, Gaby, and Phil now...people I was friends with first...not that she can't be friends with them or anything, but now they all hate me. She ignores me a lot now, too. She's started hanging out with Steph and Gaby after school....and that bugs me. Why? Because Steph claims to be friends with me and NEVER invites me to anything. Especially after she told me she didn't really like Ashley. She'd still rather hang out wth Ashley than me, and Ashley would rather hang out with Steph I'm sure. She's got pictues on her assignment notebook of Gaby and Steph and her like they've been friends forever. Ashley just called and asked if I could hang out today. I really want to talk to her about this...so hopefully we can. Maybe things will get better...maybe not. They usually never do and just blow over. Whatever. I'm over it....people claim to be friends with me just because they don't want to be mean I guess. So whats wrong with me now?
*Option* Oh lordy. and the drama continues. You know what? I like flirting. I like having fun. I like messing around. Especially with Phil...and maybe I get emotionally attached a little sometimes, and that would be the explination for why I was so god damn pissed during option today. Steph was ALL OVER Phil again. Gaby doesn't care when Steph's all fucking over him but she gets extremely upset when I hang out with him after his swim practice. She didn't even see me sitting on his lap and she's still pissed....I wonder what she'd be like if she did see me. Maybe she'd start cutting again and hit an artery and bleed to death. I know it's not a very nice thing to say....but god forbid she be nice to me for once. I don't mean sarcastic nice, I mean actually nice. I was ignored again today. These people really aren't my friends. I don't want to hang out with them. I don't belong in their group. Not that they ever consitered me in their group anyway. I kind of thought they were cool for a while but then I realized, anorexic, flirty whores arent cool. And guys who are friends with me when it's convienent for them aren't cool either. *cough*Phil*cough*. I'm not saying Steph's a whore because she's just all over Phil and I get jealous, I'm saying that beacuse EVERYTHING out of her mouth is sexual and everything she does has to do with a guy or sex or humping something.--STRAIGHT FROM JULIE'S XANGA******
So i was pretty pissed, then i started talking to ashley about it today during bio, and she was telling me how julie kept going on for hours about how she thought i was so ugly and how she doesn't understand how i can be whore with the fucked up face i have. That made me feel quite low. The worst part is that i didn't even do anything. Julie is mad basically out of jealousy. If she would have told me she liked phil i wouldn't have "flirted" with him or w/e the hell she calls it. The then other day i got in a fight with alex, and he told me i was fat and needed liposuction and to get the fat put into the things i have that are supposed to be my tits. Then my mom got my progress report i have all b's one a and one c oh yea and then one rather large F. so im not supposed to be on here. ahhh i hate my life