(no subject)
Bare with me, I'm not really sure where this entry is going to go...
So Graduation is tomorrow. I can't really help but flash back to freshman year. God, I had so many friends. Then, Chelsea moved. Jacob dropped out. Taran and I grew apart. Brent moved. Everyone just left. And I was the lucky one to stay behind. I remember talking to Chelsea about the party we'd have after graduation- and now she's not even here to celebrate it with me. I called her yesterday, and for once she answered. She sounded like she regretted answering the phone. I'd REALLY like to know when she decided that she became better than me. I don't understand how she and I were so close, and then after a whole 10 mins of conversation she ends it by saying "well, it was nice to hear from you."
Are you kidding me?
My point is, it sucks graduating alone.
I've had a lot of crazy emotions going on. I can't explain most of them. I feel like I just don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I want, or if I'm doing the right thing, or if what I'm doing is even worth it. What if I'm fucking things up before they even start? I'm nervous. But, I'm excited. I'm ready to be out of school and start being independent. But, I'm afraid things won't work out as planned. I've just been so stressed out lately. I can't be like Adam and keep living at home. I don't have people who will just hand me money if I need it. I don't think I'm getting anywhere fast; in fact, I'm not sure I'm getting anywhere at all.
I guess I have some soul searching to do.
Franklin, Charlie, Jacob, and Carter are all moving out of my class on Monday. I'm sad to see them go.
So Graduation is tomorrow. I can't really help but flash back to freshman year. God, I had so many friends. Then, Chelsea moved. Jacob dropped out. Taran and I grew apart. Brent moved. Everyone just left. And I was the lucky one to stay behind. I remember talking to Chelsea about the party we'd have after graduation- and now she's not even here to celebrate it with me. I called her yesterday, and for once she answered. She sounded like she regretted answering the phone. I'd REALLY like to know when she decided that she became better than me. I don't understand how she and I were so close, and then after a whole 10 mins of conversation she ends it by saying "well, it was nice to hear from you."
Are you kidding me?
My point is, it sucks graduating alone.
I've had a lot of crazy emotions going on. I can't explain most of them. I feel like I just don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I want, or if I'm doing the right thing, or if what I'm doing is even worth it. What if I'm fucking things up before they even start? I'm nervous. But, I'm excited. I'm ready to be out of school and start being independent. But, I'm afraid things won't work out as planned. I've just been so stressed out lately. I can't be like Adam and keep living at home. I don't have people who will just hand me money if I need it. I don't think I'm getting anywhere fast; in fact, I'm not sure I'm getting anywhere at all.
I guess I have some soul searching to do.
Franklin, Charlie, Jacob, and Carter are all moving out of my class on Monday. I'm sad to see them go.