Quotable Quotes.
ok, stolen from Overheard in New York
And Remember, Fans, Wednesday Is 'Pussy Tattoo Night' Here at the Ballpark
Woman #1: I don't know how I'm gonna get Bernie to go down on me. I've even tried waxing.
Woman #2: Maybe you can tattoo a little Yankees logo down there.
Woman #1: Are you kidding? It would be a holy object. He would kneel and make burnt offerings.
Woman #2: At least he would be kneeling. That's a start.
--Williamsburg
Finally, Someone Else Knows Apes Aren't Monkeys
Guy #1: I told him exactly how to get here. A monkey could follow those directions.
Guy #2: Dude, there's no way in hell he'll find us...he's not a monkey. --Stan's Sports Bar, River Avenue
After Five Minutes of Me, You Are Going to Want to Change the Channel
Hispanic male hospital worker: You know what women hate? When men take forever and a day to finish. Let's say the average woman likes five minutes of sex, but he keeps going and going and thirty minutes later she's thinking, 'Hey, let's watch TV.'
Indian virgin hospital worker: We only like it for five minutes?
--Starbucks, 17th & 1st
Someone Should Complain to Her Soup-ervisor
Bag lady: Ladies and gentlemen, my husband and I are homeless. We can't stay at our shelter during the day so we come on the train to get food. Today we are asking for money so we can do laundry. Anything you can give will help.
Hobo: Why don't you just admit that you're gonna buy crack? I'm in the same line of work, don't believe her.
--N train
Backdoor Wednesday One-liners
Drunk: If God didn't want us to be gay, He wouldn't have put our g-spot all the way up our ass! --3rd Ave. between 11th & 12th
Overheard by: Zack
Fratboy: So if I tell her I wanna put my tongue up her ass, you think she'll relate to me?
--1st Ave. & 10th St.
Overheard by: Sarah T.
Fiancee: OK, fine. You can have strippers at your bachelor party. But if I hear you stuck your dick in some nasty hooker's ass, I'm never sucking it again.
--Port Authority
Overheard by: Mad William Flint
Woman: Yeah, whatever, Mr. Doesn't-Know-What-a-Suppository-Is!
--The Angelica, Houston Street
Goombah: Nah, nah, nah...I'd suck a guy's dick balls deep, but I would never eat a man's ass. That's just gay.
--Williamsburg
And Then You'll Get Depressed and Starve Yourself and Be Skinnier Than Before, Stupid
Boyfriend is trying to force-feed chocolate to his girlfriend.
Girlfriend: Stop, I don't want it. It will make me fat, and you won't want me.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but no one else will either.
--A train
And Remember, Fans, Wednesday Is 'Pussy Tattoo Night' Here at the Ballpark
Woman #1: I don't know how I'm gonna get Bernie to go down on me. I've even tried waxing.
Woman #2: Maybe you can tattoo a little Yankees logo down there.
Woman #1: Are you kidding? It would be a holy object. He would kneel and make burnt offerings.
Woman #2: At least he would be kneeling. That's a start.
--Williamsburg
Finally, Someone Else Knows Apes Aren't Monkeys
Guy #1: I told him exactly how to get here. A monkey could follow those directions.
Guy #2: Dude, there's no way in hell he'll find us...he's not a monkey. --Stan's Sports Bar, River Avenue
After Five Minutes of Me, You Are Going to Want to Change the Channel
Hispanic male hospital worker: You know what women hate? When men take forever and a day to finish. Let's say the average woman likes five minutes of sex, but he keeps going and going and thirty minutes later she's thinking, 'Hey, let's watch TV.'
Indian virgin hospital worker: We only like it for five minutes?
--Starbucks, 17th & 1st
Someone Should Complain to Her Soup-ervisor
Bag lady: Ladies and gentlemen, my husband and I are homeless. We can't stay at our shelter during the day so we come on the train to get food. Today we are asking for money so we can do laundry. Anything you can give will help.
Hobo: Why don't you just admit that you're gonna buy crack? I'm in the same line of work, don't believe her.
--N train
Backdoor Wednesday One-liners
Drunk: If God didn't want us to be gay, He wouldn't have put our g-spot all the way up our ass! --3rd Ave. between 11th & 12th
Overheard by: Zack
Fratboy: So if I tell her I wanna put my tongue up her ass, you think she'll relate to me?
--1st Ave. & 10th St.
Overheard by: Sarah T.
Fiancee: OK, fine. You can have strippers at your bachelor party. But if I hear you stuck your dick in some nasty hooker's ass, I'm never sucking it again.
--Port Authority
Overheard by: Mad William Flint
Woman: Yeah, whatever, Mr. Doesn't-Know-What-a-Suppository-Is!
--The Angelica, Houston Street
Goombah: Nah, nah, nah...I'd suck a guy's dick balls deep, but I would never eat a man's ass. That's just gay.
--Williamsburg
And Then You'll Get Depressed and Starve Yourself and Be Skinnier Than Before, Stupid
Boyfriend is trying to force-feed chocolate to his girlfriend.
Girlfriend: Stop, I don't want it. It will make me fat, and you won't want me.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but no one else will either.
--A train